Discussion Why are some more resilient than others ?

[MeltingHeart]

Kind of linking into someone else thread about- why do you want to ctb? I was wondering why do u think some people want to ctb over some things and others still hve the will to keep going ? I do not wish to undermine anyone's personal reasons on here as there is a huge range & spectrum of reasons some more overtly "obvious" than others. But sometimes I do read stories- watch the news etc and see what people on the world go through - say losing three limbs , or acid attack or losing all family in house fire etc etc I could go on - extreme things - but they still have a will to keep going - to live -I've had some shitty stuff - but I know I can not compare to many people out there- yet i do not have the will to keep going despite issues being minor compared to some - and probably minor compared to others on here too! (and I do have alot of guilt about this fact- i feel i should be greatful & feel v lucky is some ways). But nonetheless I have no desire to keep living. How/ why can some apparently still find some inner strength in the worst adversities and others not? p.s for those with severe mental health issues and/ or constant physical issues/ pain- i dont think this questions applies so much. just folk like me that have had alot of shit to deal with & have lost any enjoyment of life-but perhaps havent had the worst of the worst happen to them...do you ever feel slight guilt too-about how you feel?

 

[SerenitySeeker]

I've often thought about that too but came to several conclusions, the first being that ultimately no one knows someone's entire life/experiences/hurts/trauma and the affect it has had on a person but that person and a higher power (if that's something that one believes in). Secondly, everyone's tolerance for life and life experiences are different. I'm sure everyone on this board could look at a few other people's circumstances and pick out things that they may be able to deal with and some they wouldn't and possibly be surprised by each other's answers.
Third, because of those things I mentioned before.. I try not to analyze because at the end of the day everyone's pain is valid.

I don't feel guilt in the way of thinking I don't deserve to feel the way that I do or other people have it worse because I know my experience and my tolerance and I've made peace with that.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I've often thought about that too but came to several conclusions, the first being that ultimately no one knows someone's entire life/experiences/hurts/trauma and the affect it has had on a person but that person and a higher power (if that's something that one believes in). Secondly, everyone's tolerance for life and life experiences are different. I'm sure everyone on this board could look at a few other people's circumstances and pick out things that they may be able to deal with and some they wouldn't and possibly be surprised by each other's answers.
Third, because of those things I mentioned before.. I try not to analyze because at the end of the day everyone's pain is valid.

I don't feel guilt in the way of thinking I don't deserve to feel the way that I do or other people have it worse because I know my experience and my tolerance and I've made peace with that.

That's a very succinct answer & actually kind of sums up how I feel too. But I still personally feel guilt - but obviously that's a vicious circle as inevitable adds to my low self worth -ergh.