I agree with you. I've been here a while myself now and I just don't see this coercion they all claim exists. Plus, it's utterly bizarre that they have us down as either monsters or, vulnerable victims. A lot of people are struggling here- certainly. I'd even agree with the echo chamber criticism to a larger extent. But then, that's to be expected- surely? People don't seek out a place like this if they are full of hope and optimism! I've personally found the vast majority of members here kind, empatheic and supportive.
I guess they truly would like us all to be doing what they're doing. Begging one another not to do it. Guilt tripping one another. Plastering empty platitudes and helplines everywhere. I wonder if they truly think that would help.
As to why they're frightened or repelled by the mention of suicide, I also feel it's multi-faceted. I think for some people, the act of suicide is just simply repellent to them. It's something they probably think they would never do and, no one else should either.
There could be multiple reasons for that. Perhaps religious- that only God has the right to take our lives. Maybe they feel a strong commitment to fulfilling individual potential and contributing society. Maybe they couldn't contemplate inflicting the level of grief suicide can cause on their loved ones. They see that as selfish.
So, they see it as something you musn't do to begin with- I imagine. Also- suffering and pain- unless it's absolutely obvious, can be hard to perceive and measure. Ok, someone can say they are hugely struggling in life and that everything is going wrong. But then, who hasn't felt that at stages? I think they can find it difficult to appreciate the amount of suffering someone is experiencing. They may not have the patience to understand that some people may have less inner resources or, outer support systems to cope with things others seem to breeze through. So, I think lack of understanding/ empathy is another problem.
I suppose we also represent a rebellious faction. To just about every rule there is! We're threatening to break familial and social ties, to quit working and paying taxes. We're threatening to murder our own bodies- as they see it.
I think there's also a concern that the act of suicide can sometimes seem to spur on others who maybe have been considering it. Kind of like an epidemic.
I think it may also feel like a pressure on some people. It's like- this person is on the edge. Your actions from now on may well now pull them back from the edge or, push them over. I don't think people enjoy being put in that position necessarily.
So, it may well freak them out and they panic or, maybe they just walk away because they don't want to be on that rollercoaster with the person or witness the shit show ahead. They maybe don't want to be made to feel responsible for whether that person gets better or not.
It's not to say suicidal people want others to feel all that pressure. We probably just want someone to talk to. But then, I suppose they could well feel overwhelmed themselves with the worry of it all. Imagine feeling you are now responsible for that person's well being- because you know they're on the edge.
Also, knowing someone personally that you find out is serious about suicide and especially an actual attempt puts them in a very difficult position. Do they honour their friend or loved one's wishes and, just let them die- probably then incuring the wrath of their family or, do they break their friend's trust, obliterate their autonomy and, get them sectioned?
Where does the law even stand on it? Can you get into trouble for just letting it happen knowingly? I just think it's complicated for so many reasons.
Of course, none of it helps. How can people get help for their problems when they feel they can't be honest about them? Even to therapists.
