Venting Why am I so unlovable?

[shelaysdown]

I think I was born with all these mistakes and horrible things built into me that I can never remove.
My face and body aren't feminine or pretty enough to be attractive to anyone. My body language is awkward despite my best efforts. My emotional sensitivity is unappealing to the people I love.
I love a lot of people, and I have a lot of fantastic people in my life who care about me. It's nobody's fault except my own.
But it hurts to know that I am unattractive. It hurts to know I'll never be one of the pretty, easy people who are desired.
I can kick and claw and scream and try to become something great. I could become skilled, successful, educated. But I will always be lesser because of who I am at my core.
I feel unlovable.

 

[Leavesfromthevine]

I relate to this so much. I'm just ready to find peace finally. It won't matter what I look like when I'm gone.

 

[CeramicPundit]

I feel similar, as a guy, with masculinity. I'm not a masculine man; I was born weak and still am today. My mom, who divorced my dad when I was about 3, did nothing but feed me garbage. Her work started getting harder and by the time my habits had begun to form I was a fucking trainwreck. Totally unregulated by any parent, I've been spiraling since middle school. I'm a weak, fat, and highly unmasculine boy(I don't consider myself a "man"; I never really grew up). Sure, I have the means to claw and scrape my way to looking okay-ish, but does that really matter in the grand scheme of things when my genetics are just supremely fucked? Not really.