Hey joy
Just something funny lol, I'm from Canada too!
That's awesome! And the ironic part is that we're only a couple hours away from each other! Lol
It's amazing how a community of people worldwide come together for a common purpose (albeit a negative one in this case) and yet you end up talking to someone random that's practically your neighbour. Crazy lol
it's hard especially when my own dad tells me I've "ruined a perfect canvas" it sucks hearing it from your own relatives.
My parents were never fond of my (shall we call it) artistic style.
I cut myself in my teens but stopped when I almost became exposed and embarrassed for my actions.
My only advice for cutting is to be sterile. Clean your tools and areas. You don't want an infection that could hinder your life uninhabitable even further.
I switched to piercings and tattoos and body mods.
Much safer, they feel great, they look great lol and my parents hated them.
The other thing I wanted to mention is regarding the fear and control from your parents.
I just want to remind (from personal experience) that the control they have will not last forever.
It's simply a part of the stupid adulting process.
I can't remember the last time my parents opinion mattered to any one of my decisions lol.
It's kinda like friends. Nobody in my age group uses the term "best freiend". It's just not a used term. Nobody I know maintains the same friendships into adulthood as they did when they were young (it sucks and yes I miss it too).
You basically watch your friends grow and move on and have kids and jobs and nobody had time for friends.
Regarding your lost love. It sucks I know I've been there. I lost a girl and I thought I was having a heart attack. I felt I couldn't live.
I eventually realized she made her choice and I did not matter regardless of what I said or what I did.
I realized if I killed myself she wins. Sure she will be sad for a few days but will move on and eventually not care about me yet still be the owner of my story telling people i did it for her.
I couldn't let her have that. So I moved on a found someone else and eventually forgot about her.
It's shitty to say but replacing him will make you feel better.
Plus maybe if he sees you happy with someone else he will the one to feel shitty about what he lost.
All I'm saying is it's worth trying before giving up but its nice to know the option is there when you are ready.
: I assure you, you aren't "ugly". Nobody is truly ugly, unless you do ugly things. Physically, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, im just a random guy on the internet but trust me, you aren't ugly.
