About the same feeling about some humans being good they're out there the good ones but the bad ones and the ones who took advantage of me as I did to them too that is why I say myself included.
And you don't think any external factors caused you to feel that way? Not forcing that idea on you- sometimes it's just how someone feels I guess- but often there can be an underlying reason. Not in all cases I suppose.
You have a list like me! I'm sorry :(
Well I guess it's kinda good you can admit that about yrself- shows a certain degree of self awareness, remorse maybe? Which so many others simply don't even have or feel!
It's horrible never feeling safe, secure...able to trust. Hard to get that feeling back after many times being hurt. Just don't get how some people can be so cruel to others, why?! For what?! :(
I understand human cruelty it is due to fear mongering and fury mongering exerting ones' dominance or crowd control or because we as a species seem to enjoy harming others like the idea it is all fun and games until someone gets hurt then it becomes hilarious to a certain degree until bad things happened to them then the tables are turned on them it is simply our worst nature not our better nature but the negative to be a bully or to be a victim both tend to suck to a certain extend.
Well in my case I feel like bullies, the selfish, the narcissists, the thoughtless & unempathetic, the inconsiderate & the cold-hearted have won! ...sadly :(
I sure have people I can externalize my shit to, don't get me wrong, but it's not really fair for me. I'm a HSP, and my parents, especially mother, was not attuned to that at all, she is a narcissist, and she exploited me for her own reputation. But loads of people have that, survived that and became healthy and well adjusted adults. Somehow, I haven't. I get told I'm too kind, too gentle, too giving, too understanding, but a lot of people are like that, so I'm again the one who didn't adjust right. I think I have never been strong enough for this planet, I've always been sad, lost and overwhelmed, I've always (minus the last two years) felt lonely and unloved. But I cannot blame others for my lack of adjusting, for my lack of strength and willpower. I could just as easily blame my partner for me being happy the last two years and not being miserable. But is that his 'fault'? I don't know, maybe I was just supported enough to be strong and happy during that time.
Mind you what I said earlier doesn't apply to everyone but I do believe it all depends on interpretations of the facts and circumstances
Sometimes I feel the same like I haven't adjusted, adapted, and or adopted the world correctly to become better or stronger being too nice but then I'm too mean or too contradictory too much of something like being the stereotype or say the right or wrong words.
yeah, it is definitely a complex mix of issues, with lots of factors to consider. .Like i was kind of doing ok(ish) but then found myself in a bad relationship that sent me right back downhill (broke me) and that bought up loads of past issues-like obvs in part that was my fault i got into that relationship (and stayed!), but then i think why did i gravitate towards a person that was not good for me and also allow myelf to be treated that way and accepted it-that could relate to issues in my past also, plus i had no one to talk to when things were going bad so it was VERY hard to get advice and maybe extricate myself from that situation also u know. I do blame myelf in part, but at the same time i know for sure i tried really reaalllly hard to better myself and make a good life for myself and to be a good & kind person, so in that way I cant help but feel that it was other people that ultimately broke me.
I hear both of you, of course I wasn't fucked up in a vacuum, so there are external factors that have contributed towards my situation, it's always an exchange. I just don't know who to blame, to be fair. Sure, I know my parents had a play in it, psychology clearly dictates that. But I don't think that my parents had a crisis meeting the day I was born making a plan on how to most effectively fuck me up.. I am sure they tried their hardest with their own set of shit cards that they got from their parents and life up to the point I was born. I am sure that my mother, if you ask her, will say she is a good mother, tried her hardest to give me all the possibilities in the world, and she would be right to say so, because from her point of view, that is precisely what she did. She doesn't know that her need to be loved and admired by everyone in the town is narcissism, she would most likely call it social and belonging and needing to feel good about herself. I'm an HSP, my mother would call me timid and scared, easily upset and insecure, whiny and difficult. So the only person who could have changed my trajectory, is me. But I didn't, I didn't adjust well enough to the society I grew up in, never learned to 'play the game', and that was fine. The part that has ended me, is that I found someone with whom I truly bonded, who accepted me as I was, made me feel loved, made me feel wanted, incorporated me into his family... and I was able in that setting to play the game absolutely perfectly, I blossomed into a well adjusted, happy person with energy and self worth. Losing my family, losing that part of myself, THAT is what broke me.
