Who’s gonna CTB before 2020

[metalchic_74]

How many are wanting to CTB before New Years? I personally want to be gone before the holidays. I feel bad for my family but I just can't do this anymore :(

 

[Qverty7455]

Between 20 and 30 of november or in February 2020 don't want to die too close to Christmas and not right after new year...

 

[metalchic_74]

Between 20 and 30 of november or in February 2020 don't want to die too close to Christmas and not right after new year...

I don't want to be here for Christmas at all :/

 

[Kowahi2310]

I plan to CTB on Christmas.

 

[Qverty7455]

I don't want to be here for Christmas at all :/

I understand unfortunately I am waiting for something :(

 

[MeltingHeart]

The thought of being here till xmas let alone the new year feels me with dread! that will be one whole year since I cracked up, gave up on life, started to want to kill myself and all of a sudden, virtually over night lose in enjoyement or pleasure in quite literally everything! - and wakin up each day feels like a living hell- a year of feeling that way is too long! I should be gone already- to think I could have ctb a thousand times over by now if I wasnt such a coward about it.

 

[Moon Flower]

4 days left for me

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Between 20 and 30 of november or in February 2020 don't want to die too close to Christmas and not right after new year...

You don´t think it´s too close to Christmas? I am not judging just struggling with dates too because Christmas time starts on December 1st so I don´t want to ruin my parents and siblings Christmas hensforth by them thinking I ctb at that time so what would you consider a good amount of time between holidays? I see you mentioned February which is 2 month after New Years Eve I think that is a good amount of time.

I am very curious because it´s a big struggle of mine I only have a 3 month window to ctb each year because too close to Holidays and I will ruin them for my family and the same if it´s too close to their birthdays.

 

[Woodnote]

If I do it I have to wait a while. I don't want to do it during the holidays or around any birthdays. It's specifically for my brother's kids. I can't do that to them. But that's not something anyone should feel like they have to do. It's just my choice.

 

[Mr2005]

Possibly. I'm not even ready for 2010 yet alone 2020. I want to get back to my own time. Realistically though I'm stuck here in the future, the world going to shit and everything I was looking forward to behind me. That said there's things that are hard to give up, it really all depends on the outcome of something that will cement my decision one way or another

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Possibly. I'm not even ready for 2010 yet alone 2020. I want to get back to my own time. Realistically though I'm stuck here in the future, the world going to shit and everything I was looking forward to behind me. That said there's things that are hard to give up, it really all depends on the outcome of something that will cement my decision one way or another

This is very relateable I am stuck in the past and when I recently listened to these songs from 2010 and I can´t believe it is almost 10 years ago I still feel like many of these songs just came out in the last six month or so yet we are entering a whole new decade. And the "get back to my own time" is extremely relateable nothing makes sense in this future world I exist in now I want to get back to my own time when things makes sense and before the world turned to complete shit.

 

[sullengirl]

Hopefully, within the month of November. My room is an absolute mess – that's really my only real last task, so I'll likely set a date and location after. I've already absolutely ruined my life for the past few years in preparation (minimizing collateral damage + making my life difficult to return to); at this point, not c'ing the b as planned is self-sabatoge. Fingers crossed. edit: I say "hopefully" because my philosophy on life may change dramatically somehow within the next few weeks, you never really know how SI affects you I guess.

 

[Qverty7455]

You don´t think it´s too close to Christmas? I am not judging just struggling with dates too because Christmas time starts on December 1st so I don´t want to ruin my parents and siblings Christmas hensforth by them thinking I ctb at that time so what would you consider a good amount of time between holidays? I see you mentioned February which is 2 month after New Years Eve I think that is a good amount of time.

I am very curious because it´s a big struggle of mine I only have a 3 month window to ctb each year because too close to Holidays and I will ruin them for my family and the same if it´s too close to their birthdays.

Yes it's still pretty close to Christmas but still...by close I meant like week before them etc

 

[JSauter]

I definitely can't imagine staying after 2020, but this 48 hour anti-emetic thing is wrecking me. I have impulsive moments where I can absolutely go immediately, but I can't hold onto the strict volitional intent for 48 hours of this regimen, and then follow with the task of swallowing poison. This is too hard to maintain for 48 hours. It's like standing over a big pool of icewater and told that I have to inch my way in instead of jumping.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Yes it's still pretty close to Christmas but still...by close I meant like week before them etc

Do you think that will be enough time? If a loved one of mine had killed themselves a week from now the date surely would be on my mind where as if it was 1-2 months from now probably not as much.

 

[Bluma180]

I definitely can't imagine staying after 2020, but this 48 hour anti-emetic thing is wrecking me. I have impulsive moments where I can absolutely go immediately, but I can't hold onto the strict volitional intent for 48 hours of this regimen, and then follow with the task of swallowing poison. This is too hard to maintain for 48 hours. It's like standing over a big pool of icewater and told that I have to inch my way in instead of jumping.

I am pretty sure I would have to go stat myself whether it was N or SN. Too much time to think, at least for me.
I definitely wont be going or considering going before 2020.

 

[ladolcemorte]

I don't want to be here in 2020. I stayed alive long enough for a visit with my family and Halloween. Not suffering through Christmas and New Years too. I'm thinking late November

 

[Berlin76]

How many are wanting to CTB before New Years? I personally want to be gone before the holidays. I feel bad for my family but I just can't do this anymore :(

Me for sure.
But also have my first interview with the end of life clinic for my euthanasia this coming week.

 

[Ame]

This is the plan.
Failing that (for what ever reason), I intend to apply for euthanasia as soon as the changes to the law come into effect in the early spring.

 

[AgonyOnMe]

I've got to do it before my funds run out which is about the end of 2019. I should just go ahead and do it so my mom will have some money to pay for my funeral. I'm not exactly rushing it at this point because I would like to have my first method choice instead of my back up.

 

[Azzy69]

hopefully by christmas at the latest.... I'll be surprised if i make it to december

 

[Lady black]

I want to go soon

 

[khw777]

Me hopefully

 

[NotForThisWorld]

Me.

November 2019.

 

[Haku]

Me, if am able to get all I need for my SN method, but every time I feel like I am about to have everything I need, I need something else, something that tends to be difficult to obtain. Either if I get it or not, I will make sure I will ctb by no later than December 15, hopefully sooner, but I guess I'll see how my mental state treats me, that will be my deciding factor.

 

[Moon Flower]

Yes it's still pretty close to Christmas but still...by close I meant like week before them etc

If it makes you feel any better about doing it close to christmas my mom literally sent out her suicide notes on christmas cards with puppies in santa hats on them

 

[CrushedHopes]

Yeah, I'll definitely be gone by then. Most probably before even December comes.

 

[Daniela]

4 days left for me

May I PM you?

 

[Moon Flower]

May I PM you?

Sure <3

 

[Neverod]

This November, when the damn SN arrives.