mattwitt
# 978
- Jun 28, 2018
- 2,307
lol I don't think so either but you seriously never know. : )
Lethe
Fey
- Sep 19, 2019
- 670
BPD_LE ctb too? Bummer, I didn't know. They and Stan were regulars and had a good sense of humor.
Some middle-aged UK man who really did good research on the SN method and posted shitty gif-"memes".
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
And you are on the stay with Jean list.
She was Stan's protege. I am surprised she lasted without him and didn't follow him immediately like others.
Really? You knew him personally? Tell me. How old was he? You really didn't know much about him did you, or you just like disrespecting people? Can I ask why you would disrespect an individual, who if you read the posts and actually knew anything about him, meant so much to so many.
Also. If you knew him, you would know who I was. I apologize. This is the first time I am meeting you. May I ask please, since I don't know you, why you are disrespecting me?
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Poor show. What an incredible lack of gratitude for the many contributions that Stan made here. And what a disrespectful way to speak about somebody in general, especially considering that person has now passed on.
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
I tend to obsess and harp on things. I also, quite truthfully, find it fascinating that an individual would come on a suicide forum and insult someone this individual obviously doesn't know. Unaware regarding how ones words could affect not only me, but those who are still grieving over his loss. Several people CTB when he left us to follow him (something this individual obviously didn't know.) Others are still floundering without him and his advice.
Personally, if this was posted a few days ago when I came here screaming for help because I was suicidal, it would have pushed me over the edge. Yes, these words would have caused an impulsive CTB attempt.
This is a suicide forum. The majority of people here are overly sensitive. I certainly know there are days I will cry for no reason.
Whether this was a joke or not, I don't know. Whether the individual is a troll who found out who I really am and is stalking me, or an enemy of Stan is inconsequential.
Words mean a heck of a lot here when everyone is hurting. Choose those words carefully,
George81
Member
- Jan 8, 2020
- 57
Thank you all for your answers, it seems like Stan meant a lot to so many people, their legacy will carry on for a long time with so many people speaking highly of them. Today I am missing my Mom as it's her first birthday since we lost her last year. I am hoping I will meet her again once I CTB. One anchor to encourage me to stay has gone. It's so hard missing someone who has passed
That seems like quite a disrespectful way of talking about someone. I didn't know Stan and wasn't on this site when they were here but just from reading others comments I can tell how highly regarded they were and I can appreciate the work they put into trying to help others on here.
That seems like quite a disrespectful way of talking about someone. I didn't know Stan and wasn't on this site when they were here but just from reading others comments I can tell how highly regarded they were and I can appreciate the work they put into trying to help others on here.
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Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
I am so sorry for you loss. Would you like to tell us about your mom? I would love to hear about her. You obviously had a good relationship with her. Something I dreamed of. We would love to hear about her and what made her so special to you.Thank you all for your answers, it seems like Stan meant a lot to so many people, their legacy will carry on for a long time with so many people speaking highly of them. Today I am missing my Mom as it's her first birthday since we lost her last year. I am hoping I will meet her again once I CTB. One anchor to encourage me to stay has gone. It's so hard missing someone who has passed
George81
Member
- Jan 8, 2020
- 57
I am so sorry for you loss. Would you like to tell us about your mom? I would love to hear about her. You obviously had a good relationship with her. Something I dreamed of. We would love to hear about her and what made her so special to you.
Thank you so much Jean4. My Mom had random symptoms for a few months from October 2018, a chest infection that wouldn't clear, weight loss and problems swallowing. Doctors kept treating her for indigestion. Given various antibiotics. She became weak and exhausted. Early January 2019 she was taken to A&E with chest pains. They said it wasn't cardiac related. Did a CT scan. Found big tumours in her lung, chest and liver. Lung cancer. She never ever smoked. She was then in terrible pain. After 4 weeks it had spread to her neck and pelvis. All tumours grew. Was in hospital on a syringe driver on morphine in terrible pain. She died 6 weeks after that CT scan. It was such a shock, it was only a month before her and dad's 50th wedding anniversary. My dad had no idea she wouldn;t get better. I have to work in the hospital where I watched her die. It's very sad. She was a lovely kind, quiet woman who loved animals and music and art. Thank you for reading this and sorry if it's off topic. Thank you all, sending hugs
cosmicpixiedust
Pixie
- Jun 5, 2019
- 972
Thank you so much Jean4. My Mom had random symptoms for a few months from October 2018, a chest infection that wouldn't clear, weight loss and problems swallowing. Doctors kept treating her for indigestion. Given various antibiotics. She became weak and exhausted. Early January 2019 she was taken to A&E with chest pains. They said it wasn't cardiac related. Did a CT scan. Found big tumours in her lung, chest and liver. Lung cancer. She never ever smoked. She was then in terrible pain. After 4 weeks it had spread to her neck and pelvis. All tumours grew. Was in hospital on a syringe driver on morphine in terrible pain. She died 6 weeks after that CT scan. It was such a shock, it was only a month before her and dad's 50th wedding anniversary. My dad had no idea she wouldn;t get better. I have to work in the hospital where I watched her die. It's very sad. She was a lovely kind, quiet woman who loved animals and music and art. Thank you for reading this and sorry if it's off topic. Thank you all, sending hugs
I'm sorry to hear about your mom's passing. She sounds like a wonderful woman, I will keep her and you/your family in my thoughts.
George81
Member
- Jan 8, 2020
- 57
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
It's not off topic. You just demonstrated the importance of Stan. He brings us all together. :)Thank you so much Jean4. My Mom had random symptoms for a few months from October 2018, a chest infection that wouldn't clear, weight loss and problems swallowing. Doctors kept treating her for indigestion. Given various antibiotics. She became weak and exhausted. Early January 2019 she was taken to A&E with chest pains. They said it wasn't cardiac related. Did a CT scan. Found big tumours in her lung, chest and liver. Lung cancer. She never ever smoked. She was then in terrible pain. After 4 weeks it had spread to her neck and pelvis. All tumours grew. Was in hospital on a syringe driver on morphine in terrible pain. She died 6 weeks after that CT scan. It was such a shock, it was only a month before her and dad's 50th wedding anniversary. My dad had no idea she wouldn;t get better. I have to work in the hospital where I watched her die. It's very sad. She was a lovely kind, quiet woman who loved animals and music and art. Thank you for reading this and sorry if it's off topic. Thank you all, sending hugs
Off topic, my cat developed lung cancer. I never smoked (and neither did he.
) Sometimes it just happens.I can't imagine what it was like to be in the same hospital. You are stronger than I could ever be.
Your mother was very lucky to have you. We are all going to die, but your mother's life mattered. You miss her and are talking about her. What could be a greater legacy?
cosmicpixiedust
Pixie
- Jun 5, 2019
- 972
George81
Member
- Jan 8, 2020
- 57
It's not off topic. You just demonstrated the importance of Stan. He brings us all together. :)
Off topic, my cat developed lung cancer. I never smoked (and neither did he.
I can't imagine what it was like to be in the same hospital. You are stronger than I could ever be.
Your mother was very lucky to have you. We are all going to die, but your mother's life mattered. You miss her and are talking about her. What could be a greater legacy?
Thank you so much, what kind words! I must go to work now (in the very place my mom died
) but I will be back on here later tonight, thank you all so mucvh for your kindness and hugs to you all. I'm very sorry about your poor cat Jean4, is he still with us? Pets are such a comfort and people underestimate the help they give us xx
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
That was Mystic, and no. He's not with us, but Milo is ;).Thank you so much, what kind words! I must go to work now (in the very place my mom died
Have a great day at work. We will be here when you get back... and maybe I would have written about who Stan was by then lol.
@George81
Well I said he did good research on the SN method. What did I say that was so disrespectful? That I called his memes shitty? That I said he was middle-aged?
He said in some thread we went out to a pub to drink with a friend of his and I got the understanding that he was about middle-aged. I think he mentioned in another thread that he was divorced.
Well I said he did good research on the SN method. What did I say that was so disrespectful? That I called his memes shitty? That I said he was middle-aged?
He said in some thread we went out to a pub to drink with a friend of his and I got the understanding that he was about middle-aged. I think he mentioned in another thread that he was divorced.
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
No. I skimmed through the thread and your profile and I don't know what you mean by this. If you want to say something, you can PM me so we don't clutter the thread.
cosmicpixiedust
Pixie
- Jun 5, 2019
- 972
Thereisnothing
Enlightened
- Jan 4, 2020
- 1,604
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
Which is why I wrote what I did. Maybe go back and read my post. Stan was very important here. Much more than me. He died last month. Several people CTB when he left. Others are barely holding on.
Everybody here is important and special. If you insult anyone here who has passed, know that you are hurting the survivors... and words can push someone over the edge.
Carina
Angelic
- Dec 22, 2019
- 4,005
Yeah, it's just one of those things here that even if you don't mean something, words can have the effect of unintentionally hurting another. I know that I try to choose my words carefully at times just in case. Even though the meds I'm on for pain really mess with my thinking so I really mess up my written thoughts. A number here can read something small that's not meant as anything, and it could be a push, that could've meant to be nothing, even though to them it could've been like ripping out their heart.
Not to jump on you or gang up or anything, just adding for others that might wonder as well as not every may understand the effect of words. As sometimes people may not understand one thing clearly, but would others (even though it's clear that you probably understood, I quoted you just so others may realize what this was regarding)
People are probably going to jump down my throat for this...
but there's a fine line between sincere appreciation for a person and a dangerous personality cult. That line may have been crossed when multiple members ended their lives because an online stranger (beloved as he may have been) killed himself. The ushering of more people towards death so they can "join him" is rather concerning. NOBODY should have that much power over your life.
but there's a fine line between sincere appreciation for a person and a dangerous personality cult. That line may have been crossed when multiple members ended their lives because an online stranger (beloved as he may have been) killed himself. The ushering of more people towards death so they can "join him" is rather concerning. NOBODY should have that much power over your life.
CynicalHopelessness
Messenger of Silence
- Jan 9, 2020
- 940
It wasn't.
Many people on this forum have been living at the edge of despair for so long already, they have a bed and a TV on that edge. For some, it's the only place where they can be understood and build trust and attachments, with those who has suffered through similar pain. And losing a trusted friend is painful. I don't see anything wrong with it, do you?
Yes, it pushes some across the edge. But the edge was never too far away. For those who followed Stan, catching the bus has probably been a matter of when, not if. And those who didn't might still miss the person they got to know - who was more to them than "middle-aged man posting memes".
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
As a therapist, I don't quite agree with that. People are very fragile. Depending on a person's frame of mind at a particular second, a television commercial can push someone over the edge.
I quite understand dynamics, and it is reasonable.
For some people, the individuals on this forum are all a person has. Losing an important person will just increase suicidal ideations and stress. Imagine losing your only friend or the only person who listened to you.
Cult is a rather unusual way of describing it. I wouldn't insult anybody here saying they are brainwashed and can't make their own decisions.
By the way. The negativity of this post made me incredibly unbalanced. Why? I am trying to cope with his death. I made a promise to him I wouldn't CTB. And guess what. My 'cult members' here are saying I can't leave.
But yes. This post brought up all my insecurities and reminders of the loneliness I felt prior to Stan coming into my life. Loneliness was one of the reasons I wanted to CTB. In a different time and place, guess what. As a impulsive CTBer I would have done it.
You don't know what anybody here is going through.
You are very lucky. You must have friends and family outside this forum. Or maybe you have not developed any close relationships.
For me personally, the people in this forum are my family and friends. I have nobody else. Stan was also the first person I cared about who died.
I am sure others who have been alone their entire life felt the same way.
It is very difficult to deal with the death of someone their care about. For some, Stan was their first like myself. When one is suicidal and has a major death, some have coping techniques and others do not.
You are very lucky. You don't appear to be as damaged as some of the people here. I don't judge anybody by their actions or feelings. It isn't my place to do so. Instead, I empathize and understand.
By the way. I love my Cult Followers.The ones who aren't permitting me to leave. They know who they are. ;)
Carina
Angelic
- Dec 22, 2019
- 4,005
That kind of falls into what the others have said. This board has a high turn around regardless. It's the nature of the board. Some people are so close to the edge that it's not so much that something will send them over, but people here are preventing them from going over. Does that mean others should be concerned or feel guilty about if they ctb? Of course not. But at the same time it's not a cult in how cults are. It's just more of high-intensity relationships where we outright know that people we meet here may be dead in days, weeks, months.
We know this, we accept this. We are totally open and honest. We are technically more open with people here than we are with partners. It's going to have side effects. And really, people tend to hang out with people of similar personalities too.. so there's that.
UpandDownPrincess
Elementalist
- Dec 31, 2019
- 833
Thank you so much Jean4. My Mom had random symptoms for a few months from October 2018, a chest infection that wouldn't clear, weight loss and problems swallowing. Doctors kept treating her for indigestion. Given various antibiotics. She became weak and exhausted. Early January 2019 she was taken to A&E with chest pains. They said it wasn't cardiac related. Did a CT scan. Found big tumours in her lung, chest and liver. Lung cancer. She never ever smoked. She was then in terrible pain. After 4 weeks it had spread to her neck and pelvis. All tumours grew. Was in hospital on a syringe driver on morphine in terrible pain. She died 6 weeks after that CT scan. It was such a shock, it was only a month before her and dad's 50th wedding anniversary. My dad had no idea she wouldn;t get better. I have to work in the hospital where I watched her die. It's very sad. She was a lovely kind, quiet woman who loved animals and music and art. Thank you for reading this and sorry if it's off topic. Thank you all, sending hugs
Sending you support and warm, comfy hugs. I can't imagine how hard it must be to have to return there to work. Even after years, there are still places I avoid due to the bad memories they hold.
Welcome! There is a world of support here and you are welcome to all of it.
WhyIsLife56
Antinatalism + Efilism ❤️
- Nov 4, 2019
- 1,075
Have you ever lost someone in your life before?
For a lot of people here, it's a matter of when, not if, just like @CynicalHopelessness said.
I suggest you look around you. Everything in life is surrounded by death.
Or are you just some pro life person in disguise?
Terminally ill
Member
- May 27, 2019
- 95
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