Money problems have compounded my situation so it's kinda made the need to ctb faster. Too many things hitting me all at once. I'm hoping there's nothing after this, but part of me is so mad on the things I'm never gonna get to see and I'm so mad the the person that hurt me so badly isn't feeling any remorse. And I'm so mad about the potential after effects of what I will do. I've hinted to one of my exes that I have joint custody with of why something would happen would. Because our son has the potential to be effected, I've read the studies. My younger kids at least won't really remember and they won't see me, unless my mom has a funeral. And I've given several options, I'm so worried my kid is gonna think it's him and it's not. He's been through some tough stuff for a kid already, and me and his dad are finally on talking terms. (My ex despised my husband to say the least). My ex also was harassed but not to the same degree and him and his soon to be ex wife think it was my husband and so does my family. I just don't understand it, and my husband (soon to be ex husband, going through a divorce) why he would stay with me. I'm so mad because if it was him I missed out on someone that could have loved me and had a normal relationship. I went through hell being with him, for nothing, I gave up so much. Sorry for the vent, thinking about why I'm doing it makes me so mad, and hurt and so much.