Venting Who in their right mind (literally) would ever call doctors or one of those hotlines if they have thoughts of ctb?

[KillingPain267]

What can they do? Restrain me and then fix my life for me? Lol. I understand someone who has psychosis hearing voices telling them to ctb and wanting to be saved. But unfortunately for the medical establishment, for many of us people here, our ctb thoughts are rational. I will never trust a doctor with my ctb thoughts which is why I'm scared of buying ctb material, it then being discovered by my family, and they call these so called "life-savers" called doctors and restrain me like a slave without human rights. All doctors do is extend life anyway, I've found they care fuck all for quality! Ugh!

 

[timetodie24]

Because some people want to live despite the thoughts . For some, the thoughts are transient and with treatment of underlying illness or help with their circumstances, things get better. Some people do have succesful treatments, not all professionals and treatments are the same. Getting 'help' only made me worse but I know that's not true for everyone. I can understand reaching out if unsure about ctb but if 100% sure then doesn't make sense. But not everyone with thoughts has intent, many people have passing thoughts that they never act on.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

For some people, they also want to live despite having suicidal urges. You have to remember, that not everyone who goes through suicidal ideation wants to die. Suicidal urges can come about due to a variety of reasons, such it being a call for help. Along with that, not everybody is aware of the risks that may come from contacting hotlines, like being hospitalized.

 

[KillingPain267]

For some people, they also want to live despite having suicidal urges. You have to remember, that not everyone who goes through suicidal ideation wants to die. Suicidal urges can come about due to a variety of reasons, such it being a call for help. Along with that, not everybody is aware of the risks that may come from contacting hotlines, like being hospitalized.

I get some want help. But how can anyone trust these doctors and hotlines even give unprejudiced non-judgmental non-freedomstealing "help".

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I get some want help. But how can anyone trust these doctors and hotlines even give unprejudiced non-judgmental non-freedomstealing "help".

A lot of people use them because they don't know about all of the issues associated with them. Along with that, there aren't a shit ton of well-known resources for suicidal individuals outside of hotlines.

 

[BackToLobby]

I did and it was a waste of time, basically they told me to relax and find help.

 

[lacrimosa]

Having those thoughts can be very traumatic and intrusive, especially during a psychotic break. While you may never call those hotlines, they are there for those who are suffering a psychotic break or a nervous breakdown, etc where they are overwhelmed by the voices and wanting to live. The people on the other end of the line can help bring them back down to reality and help them to think in a calm and rational manner once again.

But you said "who in their right mind"... So, I don't think people in their right mind would call those numbers as they aren't experiencing a psychotic break.

 

[MidnightCat]

If it helps... I called them quite a few times.


I want to die. I've been feeling this way for years. The thought corrodes my mind and most days is the only thing I'm able to think about.

I wish it was possible to erase every trace of existence that relates to me. Toss it in the void, make people forget about me like I've never existed at all.


Unfortunately, that's not gonna happen. So, although I crave death, those around me will suffer when the time comes by. I do understand this so I try my best to not ctb until it's completely unbearable to live even one more second.



So when I call, they help me (barely, but it's something) to focus my mind on another thing, so I'm usually able to go and take a good dose of Diazepam to sleep and live another day.

They'll do nothing more, they will not make the pain out the ideas go away, I don't need to trust them with anything and I'm always outside my residence so if things go out of control they cannot call the police on me.

 

[sadidiot0328]

I had wanted to call them, but decided to look up what other people's experiences were. While some were alright, there were too many negative experiences for me to go forward with calling them. I've already been to a psych ward involuntarily a couple of times and hated it, so never again.

 

[indefinitesleep2]

called them and the guy hung up lol

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I think people call them in moments of desperation. They want to be talked back from the edge.

 

[onyx559]

I promised my sister I would try everything before attempting again so I called the hotline. I'm my car in the woods eyes full of tears and I never got an answer from them lmaoo just on hold. I was on hold for so long I got mad and just hung up

 

[Seered Doom]

The hotlines are such trash. They legit didn't care to understand me or why I was wanting to CTB when I was younger and they just gave me attitude which just pushed me even further. The longer wait time was also such horse shit, especially if you keep trying to kill yourself every fucking day.

 

[WiltingBogStar]

Sometimes the CTB thoughts scare me on a primal level, even though I understand intellectually that CTB is a reasonable option in my situation, and my instincts cause me to reach out for any sort of human voice so that I do not have to experience the fear while alone and afraid. I guess I'm truly not actually in my right mind whenever I pick up the phone in those moments.

That being said, the hotlines are utter dogshit regardless of whether or not the person calling is actually considering CTB or is just in a mental health crisis. The wait times are hours long, most of the staff are just in it to collect a salary by reading off a prompt sheet, and the advice given is just awful even for someone who actually wants to be alive.

Here are some golden moments I've experienced from both my local NHS hotline and the Samaritans over the years:

• Multiple cases of staff getting angry and shouting down the phone at me because I'm crying so much that I'm incapable of coherent speech.
• A man who had a bare-minimum grasp of English resorted to saying "USE YOUR COPING STRATEGIES" over and over again - why hire this person to do a job which fully consists of speaking to people in English?
• Being told to "go watch TV" even though that's what I was doing before having a mental breakdown so clearly that wasn't going to work - I was then called "uncooperative"!
• An old man who sounded like David Attenborough repeatedly moaning "I can't hear the words" until I hung up.
• A woman who said something like "well I don't have a problem doing XYZ so I don't see why you can't do XYZ too".

 

[thealteredmind]

I did and it was a waste of time, basically they told me to relax and find help.

"try to relax"

"get help"

wow so useful thank you kind stranger!

 

[Rev346]

I don't want to live but I have to because I have kids that need me. I was done with a depressive episode and was ready to move forward with my life. But now, 9 years later I'm on a downward spiral. I really can't CTB without messing up my kids. So I can do nothing or attempt to deal with the medical establishment. Medical establishment is the least worst choice for me...