Who here has experience with attempted Benz OD?

[SpinandPainr]

Hey ya'll. I happen to live with a gentleman who has lots of forgotten prescriptions lying around from the past couple years (at the oldest, about two). Mixtures of Xanax and valium, then we have hydroxozyne (not technically a benzodiazepine, but intensifies), and medical grade kava. None of the bottles are full. I imagine around 20 available Xanax, each being 0.5-2mg, and these beyond on the older end of the prescriptions, and maybe 10 diazepam, at 2mg. The kava is 50mg kavalactones individually, the hydrox are 25mg pills. Anecdotally I have found ashwaganda to intensify these as well (I straight up was accused of being high on purpose upon doing this. ii really wasn't). I have virtually unlimited of those. I'm widely experienced in opiate/combo ads, but these days accurately getting OXY is hard to do. there are a handful of them here, but I will not steal these as the gentleman is a chronic pain patient and these things are so restricted I would feel guilty to steal it.

I'm not much of a drinker. I suppose I could down a four pack of my favorite beer beforehand and surely that would do it with the mix. the difficultly there however being in I also tend to puke; I am not sure if this could be covered with thoughtful anti nausea drugs but it is a legitimate concern that I will just end up covered in my own puke. Which I hate to say would also likely blow my spot on trying to kill myself. He feels that if I am strongly considering it I need to psych ward myself, I have medical ptsd from previous, no.

There's also the considerations of comfort. I want to go out comfortably but am a boarder in someone's home. I am considering going to a hotel or the like, so I can be warm, and in a bed (it is going into winter here) and covering my head with a trash bag before I pass out in an attempt to hide what I'm sure will be a hideous blue face. I want to go out into the good night as peacefully as I remember heroin/oxy overdoses being. I know people have varying experiences here but personally I have been revived before and the drift down was peaceful.

I am taking the time to write letters. In love with someone who doesn't love me, but I do not want him to blame himself. He is struggling mentally himself and I want to use that note to try to lessen the degree of pain (I am aware all suicides cause pain to the living). he is also religious; I identify as catholic to an extent, and am thinking of getting baptized before, though I know that breaks gods covenant by breaking the will to the life he wanted you to have. If anyone here would be willing to help me revise this letter to him in DM's, I would be thankful. I want to make sure I do not sound as if I am blaming him but still leave him with as few questions as possible.

We have guns. I am a coward. I also do not want to taint the gentleman's hobby shooting myself with his weapons. I am too cowardly to hang myself after a previous attempt. Info on LD50 and the like is understably but unfortunately hard af to access. Call me a baby but I am so tired of waiting for someone to love me and so angry. so sad. I just wish I got it from somewhere. I don't dislike myself, really, anymore. I am just tired of fighting for a life that I do not see coming and life as it is at the moment I find to not be worthwhile. I know, poor pitiful white lady just crying about nothing

 

[barelyholdingon]

20 xanax mixed with alcohol will just make you blackout for a day and fuck you up badly lol. The hydroxyzine is just an antihistamine that's not gonna do anything. OD is not the way to go unless you have fentanyl

 

[Slark]

I once tried to kill myself by drinking over 90 benzodiazepine pills, all at maximum doses. Among them were alprazolam, midazolam, and flunitrazepam. I didn't die, partly because I was rescued. I spent two days in the hospital completely insane; I broke the soap dish in the bathroom, urinated on the floor, had to wear diapers, insulted the doctor and the social worker, and gave my phone password to my brother without hesitation. That's what they told me, because I don't remember anything from those two days in the hospital. Honestly, I don't think it's worth trying a benzodiazepine overdose, because the chance of failure is enormous, and then you'll end up in a psychiatric hospital. I'm sorry you've reached the point of wanting to kill yourself, but I don't think benzodiazepines can help you much.

 

[SpinandPainr]

I once tried to kill myself by drinking over 90 benzodiazepine pills, all at maximum doses. Among them were alprazolam, midazolam, and flunitrazepam. I didn't die, partly because I was rescued. I spent two days in the hospital completely insane; I broke the soap dish in the bathroom, urinated on the floor, had to wear diapers, insulted the doctor and the social worker, and gave my phone password to my brother without hesitation. That's what they told me, because I don't remember anything from those two days in the hospital. Honestly, I don't think it's worth trying a benzodiazepine overdose, because the chance of failure is enormous, and then you'll end up in a psychiatric hospital. I'm sorry you've reached the point of wanting to kill yourself, but I don't think benzodiazepines can help you much.

That's worth a consideration. I will likely have to take the slow route and plan then. Opiates can certainly do it; the benzodiazepines are synergistic

 

[Slark]

I don't think an overdose is really a good method. There are famous cases of people who died from involuntary overdoses, but I think it's like rolling the die, because it depends a lot on luck. If you had Nembutal, for example, I think everyone would say it's the best method. I hope things get better for you, whatever your decision. Have you used benzodiazepines for any length of time?

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Why ODs Fail Miserably (A Guide)

There's still a lot of questions and inquiries about ODs, and people asking about what things may facilitate a successful attempt. Let's be clear, ODs are rarely fatal. Why? For a couple of reasons: (1) modern medications are designed to be very safe, as manufacturers aim to avoid deaths that...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Non-methods that should not be attempted

mod note: this has been added to the suicide resource compilation at the top. This has been made in response to the ever increasing amount of posts made about highly unlikely methods. Please read before posting about one of these methods or feel free to link if someone does post about them...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[purpp37]

I've overdosed on benzodiazepines unintentionally more times than any other drug I've done. Mixed with any other depressant is Russian roulette. But you won't feel afraid or even care if your dose is high enough, especially without a tolerance like mine.

 

[Xiaojiu]

I once tried to kill myself by drinking over 90 benzodiazepine pills, all at maximum doses. Among them were alprazolam, midazolam, and flunitrazepam. I didn't die, partly because I was rescued. I spent two days in the hospital completely insane; I broke the soap dish in the bathroom, urinated on the floor, had to wear diapers, insulted the doctor and the social worker, and gave my phone password to my brother without hesitation. That's what they told me, because I don't remember anything from those two days in the hospital. Honestly, I don't think it's worth trying a benzodiazepine overdose, because the chance of failure is enormous, and then you'll end up in a psychiatric hospital. I'm sorry you've reached the point of wanting to kill yourself, but I don't think benzodiazepines can help you much.

Dang, I was thinking of hoarding benzos as a better way out compared to SN I read somewhere that 2 people died consuming a lot of benzos