Venting Who has the right to die ?

[Drowning fish]

I have often been feeling like I have no right to kill myself because I'm not poor enough, not hated enough and probably even some people around here would have kept living if they had my life, maybe they would have succeeded in finding the happiness I cannot inside my body with the very same experiences I have.

I feel like I have no place I belong, not functional enough to live normally, maybe not having suffered enough to have the right to be so severely depressed, not white enough to be a white person, not black enough to be a black person. I literally live in shades of grey.

The only sure thing about myself is that I've been depressed since my childhood and it got extremely worse around 16 and from then on it never went better, actually every year gets worse.

This year I've lived as a hikikomori because I had no purpose at all. Last week, I started a work as a waitress to stop the pressure of my family and society but I just quit because instead I was pressured with work and interacting with other humans. I'm sure anyone else would have been happy to find a job and would have been able to perform such easy tasks as the ones waitresses do.

I am a waste of space but I feel I have no right to die because I wasn't raped or I never lived outside feeding off garbage. So I am just hoping every night that I don't wake up the next day.

 

[Meditation guide]

Last week, I started a work as a waitress

That's not an easy job. It's a good idea to have a job of some sort to take your mind off yourself but that one is not right for lots of people.

 

[2nd Zed]

Who has the right to die?

Those who had the right to be born, meaning - everyone

I am a waste of space

To me, you are not c:

 

[rojasara]

I have often been feeling like I have no right to kill myself because I'm not poor enough, not hated enough and probably even some people around here would have kept living if they had my life, maybe they would have succeeded in finding the happiness I cannot inside my body with the very same experiences I have.

I feel like I have no place I belong, not functional enough to live normally, maybe not having suffered enough to have the right to be so severely depressed, not white enough to be a white person, not black enough to be a black person. I literally live in shades of grey.

The only sure thing about myself is that I've been depressed since my childhood and it got extremely worse around 16 and from then on it never went better, actually every year gets worse.

This year I've lived as a hikikomori because I had no purpose at all. Last week, I started a work as a waitress to stop the pressure of my family and society but I just quit because instead I was pressured with work and interacting with other humans. I'm sure anyone else would have been happy to find a job and would have been able to perform such easy tasks as the ones waitresses do.

I am a waste of space but I feel I have no right to die because I wasn't raped or I never lived outside feeding off garbage. So I am just hoping every night that I don't wake up the next day.

i feel you

 

[BetterInthanOut]

I am a waste of space but I feel I have no right to die because I wasn't raped or I never lived outside feeding off garbage.

Everyone has their own struggles, it doesn't invalidate yours just because some people have it worse. No one but you knows what it's like in your head and how much you might suffer, so it's no one's business but yours, and it's your life, you can do what you want with it
If you ever want to chat I'm here

 

[Singapope]

Since we were all coerced into life, the only correct answer is everyone. Forcing someone to be alive is equivalent to giving someone an incredibly cumbersome gift that they never asked for and then not allowing them to refuse it.

 

[BetterInthanOut]

Since we were all coerced into life, the only correct answer is everyone. Forcing someone to be alive is equivalent to giving someone an incredibly cumbersome gift and not allowing them to refuse it.

Yes! 'If life is a gift, how come I can't return it when it doesn't quite fit?'

 

[GrumpyFrog]

It seems you try to convey that suffering is a measure by which we should determine who has a right to die and who doesn't. But suffering is subjective. It is not possible to measure suffering with life circumstances, as in the exact same situation one person would be perfectly happy and the other would be suicidal.

There is no universal measurement of how much mental anguish you should be in in your situation and whether or not you should be allowed to die. At least that's what I believe.

Last week, I started a work as a waitress to stop the pressure of my family and society but I just quit because instead I was pressured with work and interacting with other humans. I'm sure anyone else would have been happy to find a job and would have been able to perform such easy tasks as the ones waitresses do.

That's not an easy job. I had to literally starve due to the lack of money, and still I didn't even look into jobs like that. Not everyone is cut out for customer service.
Don't be so hard on yourself!

Having less harsh life circumstances doesn't forbid you from wanting to die. It just makes it more likely there might be options to explore other than dying, but you don't owe it to anyone to look into these options, it's up to you.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

one thing for certain we all die one way or another. So looking at it that way we all have an obligation and a right to die. Just becasue you didn't go through x y or z experience doesn't mean you don't feel like you want to die. Have you tried counseling?

 

[sadworld]

Since we were all coerced into life, the only correct answer is everyone. Forcing someone to be alive is equivalent to giving someone an incredibly cumbersome gift that they never asked for and then not allowing them to refuse it.

i can agree to that 100%

 

[Drowning fish]

Thank you all for your messages. All your kind words mean a lot to me.

Yeah, I never asked to be born in the first place, why should I be forced to live and contribute to a society I actually despise so much and who failed me ? I know there is no place for me down there because no one wants to take the time of showing compassion, all that matters is making money.

That's not an easy job. It's a good idea to have a job of some sort to take your mind off yourself but that one is not right for lots of people.

That's so true. You have to be 100% present for the customers and multitasking and you have no time for being in a mental breakdown because you could make the resto loose customers and that would be unfair to my superiors who are nice people no matter how short I worked for them.

one thing for certain we all die one way or another. So looking at it that way we all have an obligation and a right to die. Just becasue you didn't go through x y or z experience doesn't mean you don't feel like you want to die. Have you tried counseling?

I have seen around ten therapists, hypnotists, psychiatrists, gurus, people who work with chakra, exorcist, etc. Right now I'm followed by the same psychiatrist for the 4th consecutive year. Only good thing she does is prescribe me things but overall she doesn't give a damn about what I try to tell her. I've been trying to make her understand that I can't easily leave my room and talk to people and all she keeps saying me is to join a group therapy. Like what the hell do you not understand by the fact I can't talk to people easily nor leave my room ? Also I repeat the same things over and over and she's acting like she's never heard it before. I wonder what she writes on those papers if she can't remember things I've said at least three times. I know she has a life outside but before seeing her patients she could at least reread her documents.

 

[Deathbydemo]

I reserve the right to end my life when I wish and to answer the question: everyone.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

Thank you all for your messages. All your kind words mean a lot to me.

Yeah, I never asked to be born in the first place, why should I be forced to live and contribute to a society I actually despise so much and who failed me ? I know there is no place for me down there because no one wants to take the time of showing compassion, all that matters is making money.


That's so true. You have to be 100% present for the customers and multitasking and you have no time for being in a mental breakdown because you could make the resto loose customers and that would be unfair to my superiors who are nice people no matter how short I worked for them.

I have seen around ten therapists, hypnotists, psychiatrists, gurus, people who work with chakra, exorcist, etc. Right now I'm followed by the same psychiatrist for the 4th consecutive year. Only good thing she does is prescribe me things but overall she doesn't give a damn about what I try to tell her. I've been trying to make her understand that I can't easily leave my room and talk to people and all she keeps saying me is to join a group therapy. Like what the hell do you not understand by the fact I can't talk to people easily nor leave my room ? Also I repeat the same things over and over and she's acting like she's never heard it before. I wonder what she writes on those papers if she can't remember things I've said at least three times. I know she has a life outside but before seeing her patients she could at least reread her documents.

wow, sorry your therapist isn't doing more to help. If someone can't talk to people easily or leave their room group therapy is the LAST thing they need right than. I know. It puts you in almost panic mode just thinking about being in a group. Is there a way to get a consultation with different therapists to see if they will write the same meds and listen to you better?

 

[Cutepoison]

I think everyone should be allowed to have the option of ending things.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

just because someone has it worse than you doesn't mean that you don't have the right to die or the right to feel pain. pain doesn't care about how well-off you are.

and like the other commenters have said, we were all brought into this life against our will, so it's only fair that we die of our own accord.