Who are you ?

[Peaceful Exit]

I suffer from occasional bouts of depersonalization, I am just recovering after going through a 5 week episode of this nightmarish condition. Depersonalization feels similar to the feeling you have after having smoked too much weed, it is very wierd and frightening. I dont smoke weed because I hate the stuff, it just doesnt agree with me, but having smoked it only 3 or 4 times as a kid I know how it feels to be very stoned. But during my episodes of depersonalization, I just dont feel real, as though I am some kind of puppet, or hologram. I am also acutely aware of the fact that I have very little control of my thoughts, and these thoughts occur wether I want to have them or not, as though some sinister force is implanting the seemingly random thoughts in my head. I also think about stuff such as: Who really created us ? Why are we here ? And what am I really ? I hate all this wierdness that I cannot control, or find answers to. Life to me is just some kind of nightmarish existence. All I want to do is just stop this existence forever, because I find it all too frightening to deal with.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me existence is so horrifying and I see life as just being suffering for the sake of it. We are forced to exist for no reason and we endure such awful lives. There is no point to it all. Life also terrifies me and that condition you experience sounds so scary. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. It scares me how the human body is capable of torturing us so much.

 

[Zegers]

Inwardly someone who basically has no identity anymore, someone who has been devoured by ostracism, isolation and emptiness. Outwardly a disabled nutter who looks like tramp but has a lot of money with which he does nothing.