One CTB Award-Winning must-read/follow is this wordsmith eloquent pro-mortalist that's I think exactly what you're looking for glue your eyes to the screen negative utilitarianist, antinatalist strong pro-suicidal philosopher u/existentialgoof on Reddit and another that I believe he endorses forget the name but something like
Imandham's videos on YouTube on anti-natalism as close to suicidal as you can get without them getting banned.
The first is a genius attorney (according to the way he writes although his true identity is unknown) and strong activist the universal right to die, definitely follow his comments which are so eloquently written they're addictive on Reddit and more so his blog:
SchopenhaueronMars.com
In Support Of The Fundamental Right To Die: An Argument For Personal Liberty
Suicide Prevention Laws Are Essentially The Same as Blasphemy Laws
Not a YouTube video but The End of Love written by this renowned sociologist is a must read. That's if you're looking for any content to drive you further into the depth of reality and the bitter cold hard truth that nobody wants to hear but the evidence and the truth have no friends. I got the PDF on a z-lib mirror, so I can DM you a copy if you like (I'll have to look at my old archives, donated or trashed all my belongings including my old laptop). But after reading it I really thought the author was due the credit and bought a hard copy and that results that I read over and over as if I was holding some tip me over the edge Truth Talmud in my hand.
As far as YouTube videos and any other suicidal consumer content that is revealing, interesting or triggering for suicidal people .... That's what I've been on a mass search for just recently, I'm allergic to watching anything jolly or with happy endings. Only bitter, cold, hard tuth or tale content that'll make you more suicidal. I think I have some in my bookmarks and I'll keep searching post back here I can find any content, documentaries, videos or blogs Rated
for suicidal people & audiences.
The End of Love book illustrates how we're constantly chasing this treasure on a map where the X is always changing doesn't actually exist anymore because we live in a laissez-faire brutal cutthroat capitalistic and consumerist sociobiological dating ecosystem, where anybody is free to walk all over you whenever a better opportunity arises and the idea of relationships as a unit of two imperfect people that can make each other perfectly happy is long dead. We have gone from a society where two people could come together and make the best of each other to how to now an individualistic ( "me versus "we" ) socio biological dating society, mate selection, and relationship Half-Life being shorter than a m-80 fuse ready to below and blow you to pieces u
ltimately the extinction of love
What I like it's that it's not some philosophical waffle but written by a renowned sociologist that's very academic and scientifically rigorous and a bit hard to digest, yet a necessary nutrient if you want to understand that if you can't live without love and a life without love is meaningless then (my takeaway) consider that life is over, unless you want to cuddle your pillow for the rest of your life and pretend there's actually a chance of finding a mate that'll stick around.
The writing style isn't philosophically eloquent and smooth as one would hope to be but if science is truth and the truth is a bitter pill to digest, it's very scientifically written it's almost like a life sentence verdict and the final nail in my coffin.