My last therapist claimed I had no OCD. But I am pretty sure I have. But it is kind of weird behavior and is not really asked in his diagnosis tests.
In my childhod my mom even hit me for OCD behavior. She told me I should stop that crazy shit. Which was pretty cynical because I only developed it due to her abuse.
Sometimes I had to move my hands the right number of times. For example when I prayed. (I am now atheist.) I had a note with myriad of weird notes. I had the behavior always to leave question marks. Because you cannot be certain about anything. I did not want to lie because I could get punished for it. Yeah other peers made fun of me because of that.
There were certain words I had to repeat before sleeping. I differentiated between good and bad letter (don't go into details why). Sadly I had this behavior especially with my mom who again abused me even more for it.
My OCD behavior changed. I am also kind of obsessive about this forum. I check many threads several times before I go to sleep. I am very anxious to send the wrong person texts on my messager apps and I check it way too often. I even have chats for obsessive behavior. I won't go into detail.
I am extremely scared I could accidentaly destroy this house I am living in. I check electronic devices for a way too long time before I leave the house. I literally stare at them.
I should not get started about the time when I worked a normal job. It triggered me in an extreme manner. Honeslty I was a wreck. I think because my abuse was related to performance pressure exactly this is triggering me. I think I won't be able to hold a job due to that. I was fired after a short time.
I also had as a child good and bad numbers which I connected to good letters.
I think I have improved compared to the OCD behavior when I was a child. But claiming I had no OCD is pretty ignorant. I think I have a lot of OCD concerning college. It stops me from being productive. I have to understand a subject perfectly and fully otherwise I get extreme sorrows and ruminate a lot. It stresses me severely otherwise. I think this will backfire next semester and might induce a new psychosis. It could kill me. I sometimes outsmarted my OCD behavior in the past with some safety meassures. But I really have doubt whether this problem really can get solved in this way...
What is your weird OCD behavior?
In my childhod my mom even hit me for OCD behavior. She told me I should stop that crazy shit. Which was pretty cynical because I only developed it due to her abuse.
Sometimes I had to move my hands the right number of times. For example when I prayed. (I am now atheist.) I had a note with myriad of weird notes. I had the behavior always to leave question marks. Because you cannot be certain about anything. I did not want to lie because I could get punished for it. Yeah other peers made fun of me because of that.
There were certain words I had to repeat before sleeping. I differentiated between good and bad letter (don't go into details why). Sadly I had this behavior especially with my mom who again abused me even more for it.
My OCD behavior changed. I am also kind of obsessive about this forum. I check many threads several times before I go to sleep. I am very anxious to send the wrong person texts on my messager apps and I check it way too often. I even have chats for obsessive behavior. I won't go into detail.
I am extremely scared I could accidentaly destroy this house I am living in. I check electronic devices for a way too long time before I leave the house. I literally stare at them.
I should not get started about the time when I worked a normal job. It triggered me in an extreme manner. Honeslty I was a wreck. I think because my abuse was related to performance pressure exactly this is triggering me. I think I won't be able to hold a job due to that. I was fired after a short time.
I also had as a child good and bad numbers which I connected to good letters.
I think I have improved compared to the OCD behavior when I was a child. But claiming I had no OCD is pretty ignorant. I think I have a lot of OCD concerning college. It stops me from being productive. I have to understand a subject perfectly and fully otherwise I get extreme sorrows and ruminate a lot. It stresses me severely otherwise. I think this will backfire next semester and might induce a new psychosis. It could kill me. I sometimes outsmarted my OCD behavior in the past with some safety meassures. But I really have doubt whether this problem really can get solved in this way...
What is your weird OCD behavior?
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