Where were at 25 years old?

[FireFox]

Hello my friends at SS I turn 25 next month and i am not looking forward to it.

I am depressed at turning 25 because I have nothing to show for my life. I have no major achievements, never been in a relationship and still a virgin. We live in a culture that magnifies youth success especially within a person's teens and early 20s. If you are young and successful society puts you on a pedestal. I just feel like failure seeing my former classmates have careers, getting married and doing cool things since leaving school. All I did was go university and study law and pretty much feel apart after graduating. I had a job which ended 2 months ago and now back to square one.

I have a body of an adult but mentally I always feel like the invisible outsider teenage girl the boys at never wanted and always made fun of. Never having a relationship in my teens I never grew up. All my classmates knew everything about sex and relationships wheras I knew nothing. It is so humiliating. Relationship are symbolic of maturity and growing up.

I don't want to live to see the next 20 years or more of my.

Where were you at 25 years old ?

 

[ornitier199]

Rule of life:
Stop caring what others think. Move at your own speed and leave when you are ready to leave.
There is no competition to anything in this life, no ranking achievements like its some leaderboard to life. No matter how it it be depicted in society.
They did some society considers major achievement, put on pedestal; I don't see it. They did something, good for them; doesn't affect me, so I'm not gonna bag on myself. for what they do with their life.

Relationship are symbolic of maturity and growing up.

No it's not. Anyone can be in a relationship, mature or not, grown up or not.
Your own self volition is but one.

 

[FireFox]

Rule of life:
Stop caring what others think. Move at your own speed and leave when you are ready to leave.
There is no competition to anything in this life, no ranking achievements like its some leaderboard to life. No matter how it it be depicted in society.
They did some society considers major achievement, put on pedestal; I don't see it. They did something, good for them; doesn't affect me, so I'm not gonna bag on myself. for what they do with their life.

No it's not. Anyone can be in a relationship, mature or not, grown up or not.
Your own self volition is but one.

@ornitier199
Relationships do symbolise maturity and growing up, its the littlest details that i noticed how relationships change people. Its was so embrassing growing up and seeing all your classmates know about sex and relationships while I knew absoultely nothing.

When I was 15/16 years old at school I was in a GCSE business studies class as I choose this subject to study. In class the teacher always talked about the current events effecting businesses and markets. One time in the news at the time there was about a company that sold viarga. I didn't know what viarga was so I asked what is viarga. All my classmates laughed at me. Everyone knew what viarga was and I didn't . It was humiliating being in that class that day.

When I was child I had a close group of friends who went to the same primary school as me. During the weekends I went to their houses and I was invited to their birthday parties. I really enjoyed my childhood.

When I went to secondary school most of my friends from primary school went to different secondary schools in the area except for one friend.

The friend who ended up going to the same secondary school as me she ended up getting a boyfriend in the first term of school and after that I didn't see her again after that. She found some new friends in the school and spent time with her boyfriend and pretty much stopped hanging out with me.

Just seeing the girls in my class have boyfriends or have boys like them it was like everyone was growing up.

 

[Foresight]

I was rotting away at 25.

I'm trying to climb out at 31. It feels sad though. I would be lying if I said there wasn't a harsh bitterness about losing your youthful years.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Rule of life:
Stop caring what others think. Move at your own speed and leave when you are ready to leave.
There is no competition to anything in this life, no ranking achievements like its some leaderboard to life. No matter how it it be depicted in society.
They did some society considers major achievement, put on pedestal; I don't see it. They did something, good for them; doesn't affect me, so I'm not gonna bag on myself. for what they do with their life.

No it's not. Anyone can be in a relationship, mature or not, grown up or not.
Your own self volition is but one.

I agree. @FireFox I am sorry that those things happened to you and that you feel that way. But it's really not healthy to compare yourself to others. You can't. Besides, from the outside everyone can look happy but knowing the reality you would see that everyone has problems and most probably the people you think are super happy and successful aren't in reality and may even be depressed like us. You shouldn't judge a book by its cover. In addition, relationships are overrated. I understand that it depresses you to have never been in one. In my case the fact that I started relationships too early to try to fill in and have what my parents didn't give me helped leave me damaged. And now the final straw for me was precisely some sort of relationship. I hope you can turn things around. Have you considered taking medication? I am taking it and it helps me a lot. I think we have a lot in common, even the degree in law so if you ever feel like talking I'm here :)

 

[Smart No More]

Sorry. Incoming essay. Long story short, I think you're being to hard on yourself and should allow yourself to see your true attributes that are currently obscured by your self loathing and fears/insecurities. You appear mature to me and I think you just need to allow yourself to bloom. It's actually pretty adorable that you haven't and I'm kind of excited for you to have that ahead of you. It is definitely not too late. If you can find a bit of love and confidence in yourself you're set. Be comfortable in your own skin. Liberate yourself of your insecurities.

So yeah, no need to read the wbole brain fart I wrote below if that lands well enough with you.


Relationships are only symbolic of a certain kind of maturity. Not maturty as a whole. It sounds like, because you have hang ups about your issues surrounding your development with regards to sex and relationship that you are blind to your validity as a person and probably have many mature elements of yourself you don't allow yourself to see. For example you talked about your choice of class. That indicates a maturity many don't have at that age. I bet there were others that laughed along but also didn't know what viagra is. There's not much reason to know about it at that age. The few boys who knew where probably aware because of either porn and internet or they were exposed to it because their farthers used it. They certainly weren't/shouldn't need to use it at that age so knowledge of it was 2nd hand if not 3rd, 4th or 5th hand for many of them. It indicates nothing but they happened to be exposed by chance. It's easy to interpret that as you not being mature because you're not experienced. It's not the case. Though of course experience plays a part in development. But that laughter could just have easily been a laugh with you as at you.

Many people are ruled by their insecurities and they blind a person to their actual worth. Sex and romantic relationships are a small portion of personal development but it's fair to say the specific proportions of personal development are varied from person to person. That said they don't define them individually. Though to an onlooker it's easy to see it that way because you only see that and not the rest of the things going on in their mind and maturity.

Personally I see sex and to some extent relationship as a consumer based leasure. They're something we partake in and not something that define us. Many a well developed and mature person has trouble finding a mate. Often because they're too 'developed' to connect with someone that isn't on the same wavelength or level of maturity. Still they can have meaningless sex but that's all it can be because they can't connect, having surpassed the majority of people they interact with.

There's an element of chance to what you're exposed to in your youth (family sensibilities, outside influences, curiosity etc) and as a result some are not sexually mature at the same time as others. Many lie about it. Particularly at a young age. Fake it till you make it kind of thing. Even when many of them know about sex or partake in it they're not mature. They just happen to have sex. The appearance of maturity is an illusion. If they're mature, they're mature wirhout the sex or relationsgips. Though I will concede that young people that manage to obtain genuine relationships are usual maturing faster than their peers but they're few and far between. Real relationships don't make up the majority of relationships. Truth is most fail.

One thing that may offer you some hope is that it doesn't take long to learn and 'mature' at sex. It's a learning curve that gets exponentially easier and quicker.

If you want to find a relationship and gain sexual maturity that's not out of your remit. It is however important that you learn what you like. Learn to appreciate yourself for your other strengths (which are currently so far in your periphery that you're probably unaware of them) and become a person in your own right. When you suddenly learn and accept that your insecurities aren't actually as self defining as you currently give them the power to you'll feel a sudden bought of relief and liberation and you'll bloom. Currently you're stuck and self limiting. It's a trap that all but the few genetic lottery and life lottery winners are prone to falling into. Each with our own ruling insecurities. Its what creates so many narcissists these days. We look at ourself through other peoples lense and when we attempt to look at ourselves through our own lense we're inclined to go in with loads of prerequisits and negating filters that we don't actually see what is there of value. When you're searching for the best you become hyper aware of the worst. As such many fool themselves there is more to them than there really is. This subset of humans actually hate themselves but would never admit it to themselves or anyone else. Like I say, narcissists. Often growing into psychopaths. Really they're just too scared to face themselves honestly as they're crippled and fueled by fear.

I don't think you're a narccissist. I do think however that you can learn something from the error they make in not allowing themselves to see any actual genuine worth they may have were they just to allow themselves to look and see it.

 

[Niko66]

I'm 25 since this year too. I am very sick mentally and physically. I can't deal with this life for much longer either. I have a stable job and that's about the only decent thing I've managed. I'm a failure on most aspects of life.

 

[Al_stargate]

You seem like a smart girl. I'm sure you have good qualities and things going for yourself. Maybe it hasn't yet materialized in your life but it very likely will at some point. You'll get to the boning part. When I was 25, I was on welfare, couldn't get a gf because was broke. Things turned around for me at 27 when I started my own business. 25 I was a loser, 32 success by all standards. After an unfortunate event I'm here, but what I would suggest for you, is to focus on good things in your life, whatever brings you happiness and on the side work on things to improve other areas. Success can come and you'll forget bad shit.

 

[Kurinoy]

When the things haven't been working till now it's time to change the strategy. Don't worry, there's still plenty of time...

 

[Judy Garland]

I was a failure at 25.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Mostly the same as now except I was going to school.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

Hello my friends at SS I turn 25 next month and i am not looking forward to it.

I am depressed at turning 25 because I have nothing to show for my life. I have no major achievements, never been in a relationship and still a virgin. We live in a culture that magnifies youth success especially within a person's teens and early 20s. If you are young and successful society puts you on a pedestal. I just feel like failure seeing my former classmates have careers, getting married and doing cool things since leaving school. All I did was go university and study law and pretty much feel apart after graduating. I had a job which ended 2 months ago and now back to square one.

I have a body of an adult but mentally I always feel like the invisible outsider teenage girl the boys at never wanted and always made fun of. Never having a relationship in my teens I never grew up. All my classmates knew everything about sex and relationships wheras I knew nothing. It is so humiliating. Relationship are symbolic of maturity and growing up.

I don't want to live to see the next 20 years or more of my.

Where were you at 25 years old ?

I'm 40, and I don't view life like this at all. I couldn't care less about relationships. I value people who become obsessed by things and ideas and put creative projects before relationships or anything else. People like Erik Satie or Friedrich Nietzsche, who both had one relationship when young, then never bothered again and sacrificed everything for their creative endeavours.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Was working to cure boredom

 

[hopelessgirl]

Hello my friends at SS I turn 25 next month and i am not looking forward to it.

I am depressed at turning 25 because I have nothing to show for my life. I have no major achievements, never been in a relationship and still a virgin. We live in a culture that magnifies youth success especially within a person's teens and early 20s. If you are young and successful society puts you on a pedestal. I just feel like failure seeing my former classmates have careers, getting married and doing cool things since leaving school. All I did was go university and study law and pretty much feel apart after graduating. I had a job which ended 2 months ago and now back to square one.

I have a body of an adult but mentally I always feel like the invisible outsider teenage girl the boys at never wanted and always made fun of. Never having a relationship in my teens I never grew up. All my classmates knew everything about sex and relationships wheras I knew nothing. It is so humiliating. Relationship are symbolic of maturity and growing up.

I don't want to live to see the next 20 years or more of my.

Where were you at 25 years old ?

Hi you! I'm 29 now. So 4 years ago, in 2018 I actually got hospitalised for the second time for being suicidal. Haha. In another country than my own! What an absurd experience. Don't rush life. You still have plenty of time to discover love. I was also the weird girl in class. But trust me, you'll find someone who'll love you for who you are <3 you just never know when it is. And you must be smart since you studied law. So you're having a break in your life. Maybe it's a perfect time to reconnect with an old hobby, or find a new one? Or get a little kitten or something. I don't know if any of this will be of any help. I'm sorry in advance if it didn't.

 

[FireFox]

I was rotting away at 25.

I'm trying to climb out at 31. It feels sad though. I would be lying if I said there wasn't a harsh bitterness about losing your youthful years.

@Hindsightis2020 Virtual hug
I really hope things work out for you. I feel more disappointed than bitter about losing my youthful years because I feel like I have wasted my entire life. Lockdown worsened these feelings.

In lockdown everyday I was reading the stories about the lives of healthcare and frontline workers who died from covid19, they had so much to live for. There was one story I read about a 26 year old woman who wanted to be a vet dying from covid19, there was another story about a police officer who was engaged to be married dying from covid19 and the story that really got to me was about the NHS nurse who died from covid19. She was in her early 30s, had a husband and young children. She had absolutely everything to live for.

In lockdown I felt like it wasn't fair how come someone like me who has not done anything meaningful with their lives still gets to be alive and healthy whereas someone who had so much to live for ends up dying earlier.
In lockdown I realised I don't deserve to be alive and healthy as a result I will not seek help for my purging and laxative abuse. I don't want my healthy body anymore. It is disgusting that I am physically healthy when I don't even deserve it.

I agree. @FireFox I am sorry that those things happened to you and that you feel that way. But it's really not healthy to compare yourself to others. You can't. Besides, from the outside everyone can look happy but knowing the reality you would see that everyone has problems and most probably the people you think are super happy and successful aren't in reality and may even be depressed like us. You shouldn't judge a book by its cover. In addition, relationships are overrated. I understand that it depresses you to have never been in one. In my case the fact that I started relationships too early to try to fill in and have what my parents didn't give me helped leave me damaged. And now the final straw for me was precisely some sort of relationship. I hope you can turn things around. Have you considered taking medication? I am taking it and it helps me a lot. I think we have a lot in common, even the degree in law so if you ever feel like talking I'm here :)

@onlyanimalsaregood Thank you so much for sharing your insight and experiences. I am depressed mainly because I wanted to do so much with my life when I was younger but it turns out I have nothing with my life since leaving school.

When I was younger I wanted to travel around the world by myself, live on my own, have a man who loved me, an exciting job doing doing something meaningful but instead I still live my mum, I am still single, I was doing great in my job but my employer couldnt afford to keep me now I am back to square one and tomorrow I have to vist the local jobcentre and everything is just a mess. I am just upset I have not got my life together. No one around me took my concerns seriously so I just pretend to be happy, everyone let my down when i needed them to listen. The purging and laxative abuse is what numbs my worries and it feels good.

No I have not considered trying medication because I worry about getting addicted to anti depressants. My family say anti depressants are addictive.

Hi you! I'm 29 now. So 4 years ago, in 2018 I actually got hospitalised for the second time for being suicidal. Haha. In another country than my own! What an absurd experience. Don't rush life. You still have plenty of time to discover love. I was also the weird girl in class. But trust me, you'll find someone who'll love you for who you are <3 you just never know when it is. And you must be smart since you studied law. So you're having a break in your life. Maybe it's a perfect time to reconnect with an old hobby, or find a new one? Or get a little kitten or something. I don't know if any of this will be of any help. I'm sorry in advance if it didn't.

@hope'less'girl Virtual hug

its not easy living in a foreign country. I am a child of immigrants and i have seen how my family and relatives struggle living in a foreign country.

The worst thing about being weird outsider girl at school is experiencing the guys you like be ashamed of you because you have this reputation of being the werid girl.

When I was 16 years old I liked this guy. He was smart, cute and really funny that is why I liked him a lot. I always talking to him at school and people could see I liked him a lot. I really took an interest in the things he liked and who he was however I was just invisible to him, there was always another girl

It turned out he was ashamed me the entire time and he ended up humiliating me in front of the school. I was upset but he just didn't care.

Graduating with a law degree doesn't feel like an achievement because everyone has a degree nowadays as more young people go to university nowadays. I have been criticised online by people who say I am not "a real law graduate"

One time I was on this feminist online fourm ,I got in to an online row after I said young people are victims of ageism in the pandemic because the media kept scapegoating young people for spreading covid19 and i found it disgusting how my age group is getting blamed. I pointed out that the illegal anti lockdown protests in the UK were organised by older people and the attendees were much older in the age of over 40s. I also pointed out the most of the unvaccinated in the UK were the older people in their 40s and above. I was very critical of older unvaccinated people and their hypocrisy. I gave plenty of examples of the hypocrisy of the unvaccinated.

The woman online told me being a law graduate I should all advocate for ALL women including unvaccinated women She told me I don't sound like someone who read a law. The woman turned out to be an obese woman who lives on her own with no friends but she continued to attack me. I called her Karen she was mad as hell.

If I make spelling mistakes or grammatical errors then people online think I am not a real law graduate. I have rapid racing thoughts and my thoughts are not in synch with my typing. It is very annoying.

 

[NSA]

In college thinking I'd finally make something of myself. It might have even worked, had I been diagnosed and known how to ask for the help I needed.

Tip: If your school offers paid internships, TAKE THEM. I do believe that could have really changed my life, if I didn't chicken out.

 

[FireFox]

Sorry. Incoming essay. Long story short, I think you're being to hard on yourself and should allow yourself to see your true attributes that are currently obscured by your self loathing and fears/insecurities. You appear mature to me and I think you just need to allow yourself to bloom. It's actually pretty adorable that you haven't and I'm kind of excited for you to have that ahead of you. It is definitely not too late. If you can find a bit of love and confidence in yourself you're set. Be comfortable in your own skin. Liberate yourself of your insecurities.

So yeah, no need to read the wbole brain fart I wrote below if that lands well enough with you.


Relationships are only symbolic of a certain kind of maturity. Not maturty as a whole. It sounds like, because you have hang ups about your issues surrounding your development with regards to sex and relationship that you are blind to your validity as a person and probably have many mature elements of yourself you don't allow yourself to see. For example you talked about your choice of class. That indicates a maturity many don't have at that age. I bet there were others that laughed along but also didn't know what viagra is. There's not much reason to know about it at that age. The few boys who knew where probably aware because of either porn and internet or they were exposed to it because their farthers used it. They certainly weren't/shouldn't need to use it at that age so knowledge of it was 2nd hand if not 3rd, 4th or 5th hand for many of them. It indicates nothing but they happened to be exposed by chance. It's easy to interpret that as you not being mature because you're not experienced. It's not the case. Though of course experience plays a part in development. But that laughter could just have easily been a laugh with you as at you.

Many people are ruled by their insecurities and they blind a person to their actual worth. Sex and romantic relationships are a small portion of personal development but it's fair to say the specific proportions of personal development are varied from person to person. That said they don't define them individually. Though to an onlooker it's easy to see it that way because you only see that and not the rest of the things going on in their mind and maturity.

Personally I see sex and to some extent relationship as a consumer based leasure. They're something we partake in and not something that define us. Many a well developed and mature person has trouble finding a mate. Often because they're too 'developed' to connect with someone that isn't on the same wavelength or level of maturity. Still they can have meaningless sex but that's all it can be because they can't connect, having surpassed the majority of people they interact with.

There's an element of chance to what you're exposed to in your youth (family sensibilities, outside influences, curiosity etc) and as a result some are not sexually mature at the same time as others. Many lie about it. Particularly at a young age. Fake it till you make it kind of thing. Even when many of them know about sex or partake in it they're not mature. They just happen to have sex. The appearance of maturity is an illusion. If they're mature, they're mature wirhout the sex or relationsgips. Though I will concede that young people that manage to obtain genuine relationships are usual maturing faster than their peers but they're few and far between. Real relationships don't make up the majority of relationships. Truth is most fail.

One thing that may offer you some hope is that it doesn't take long to learn and 'mature' at sex. It's a learning curve that gets exponentially easier and quicker.

If you want to find a relationship and gain sexual maturity that's not out of your remit. It is however important that you learn what you like. Learn to appreciate yourself for your other strengths (which are currently so far in your periphery that you're probably unaware of them) and become a person in your own right. When you suddenly learn and accept that your insecurities aren't actually as self defining as you currently give them the power to you'll feel a sudden bought of relief and liberation and you'll bloom. Currently you're stuck and self limiting. It's a trap that all but the few genetic lottery and life lottery winners are prone to falling into. Each with our own ruling insecurities. Its what creates so many narcissists these days. We look at ourself through other peoples lense and when we attempt to look at ourselves through our own lense we're inclined to go in with loads of prerequisits and negating filters that we don't actually see what is there of value. When you're searching for the best you become hyper aware of the worst. As such many fool themselves there is more to them than there really is. This subset of humans actually hate themselves but would never admit it to themselves or anyone else. Like I say, narcissists. Often growing into psychopaths. Really they're just too scared to face themselves honestly as they're crippled and fueled by fear.

I don't think you're a narccissist. I do think however that you can learn something from the error they make in not allowing themselves to see any actual genuine worth they may have were they just to allow themselves to look and see it.

@Smart No More Thank you so much for your well thought, deeply beautiful and insightful reply. I have really enjoyed reading this reply while having a nice hot chocolate. I have even made a spare copy to keep.

As i grow older it bothers me that I never had a guy like me at school for the person i am, i was naturally confident in which i talked at school assemblies and regularly contributed to class discussions. Throughout school I had to see girls in my class have guys be interested in them, be nice them and go out to places.At school I was werid outsider girl who was always made fun of because of my looks and everything about me people could find to make fun of.

The worst thing about being weird outsider girl at school is experiencing the guys you like be ashamed of you because you have this reputation of being the werid girl.

When I was 16 years old I liked this guy. He was smart, cute and really funny that is why I liked him a lot. I always talking to him at school and people could see I liked him a lot.

It turned out he was ashamed me the entire time and he ended up humiliating me in front of the school. I was upset but he just didn't care. I learnt from the school gossip he liked another girl. She was really pretty and was generally well liked in the school.I really took an interest in the things he liked and who he was however I was just invisible to him in which he never cared to know the person I really am. I was just brushed aside

In adulthood its still same. Whenever I like a guy there is always another woman who catches his eye and I am pretty much invisible. I always feel like that teenage girl who was never wanted by any guy

Thanks you so much for your reply you are an amazing person

Love
FireFox

 

[alwaysdopesick]

Hello my friends at SS I turn 25 next month and i am not looking forward to it.

I am depressed at turning 25 because I have nothing to show for my life. I have no major achievements, never been in a relationship and still a virgin. We live in a culture that magnifies youth success especially within a person's teens and early 20s. If you are young and successful society puts you on a pedestal. I just feel like failure seeing my former classmates have careers, getting married and doing cool things since leaving school. All I did was go university and study law and pretty much feel apart after graduating. I had a job which ended 2 months ago and now back to square one.

I have a body of an adult but mentally I always feel like the invisible outsider teenage girl the boys at never wanted and always made fun of. Never having a relationship in my teens I never grew up. All my classmates knew everything about sex and relationships wheras I knew nothing. It is so humiliating. Relationship are symbolic of maturity and growing up.

I don't want to live to see the next 20 years or more of my.

Where were you at 25 years old ?

I tun 26 soon and it only makes me more anxious and suicidal, I jusy wish life was easier.

 

[motel rooms]

I value people who become obsessed by things and ideas and put creative projects before relationships or anything else. People like Erik Satie or Friedrich Nietzsche, who both had one relationship when young, then never bothered again and sacrificed everything for their creative endeavours.

Didn't Nietzsche unsuccessfully propose to a woman three times & remain obsessed with her until he became a vegetable?

 

[LacunaLacrimalis]

Honestly … I was on alt.suicide.holiday. Sigh.

Got married, had a kid, got my Master's, got a job … which was all good for awhile, but flash forward to age 42 and here I am. Those external milestones aren't all they're cracked up to be. In my case, the husband died, and without him none of the rest means anything. I have some friends my age, confirmed bachelor/ettes, and sometimes I think that would be better than living and losing. Grass is always greener on the other side, I guess.

 

[its-about-time]

I'm 25. It was a hard process learning to stop comparing myself so much to others my age. Getting off social media helped a lot. Delete your Facebook and Instagram and whatever and see how you feel in even a couple weeks. Disconnect from the matrix a little. Why do you care so much about doing exactly what some invisible maestro of society wants you to do? About being exactly like everyone else? The world has a lot to offer you if you look in a new place.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

Mostly the same as now except I was going to school.

Same for me.

I'm 25 since this year too. I am very sick mentally and physically. I can't deal with this life for much longer either. I have a stable job and that's about the only decent thing I've managed. I'm a failure on most aspects of life.

Nice profile picture.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

Didn't Nietzsche unsuccessfully propose to a woman three times & remain obsessed with her until he became a vegetable?

It's unclear exactly what happened with her, but he gave up on women in general once she turned him down many times (although he left his estate to her, which she declined I think), and was a nutcase who was obsessed with his work more than anything - he spent his last sane years living alone in a rented room in a farm house in the middle of nowhere, where he wrote his most fascinating works. I just love nutcases who sacrifice everything for their work and die young, but then end up getting the recognition they desired years after they died!

Enoch Powell is buried near me. I visit his grave often. Some people find his views surrounding immigration unsavoury, but he sacrificed so much to stand by his morals and speak what he believed to be the truth - in the face of the emerging 'cancel culture'. He was a man of principles, commitment, intense discipline, and again, died with only a fraction of the wealth he could've had, had he just kept his mouth shut and towed the party line. He was married, unlike the others I mentioned, though he was against promiscuousness and sex before marriage, I believe.

 

[FireFox]

Honestly … I was on alt.suicide.holiday. Sigh.

Got married, had a kid, got my Master's, got a job … which was all good for awhile, but flash forward to age 42 and here I am. Those external milestones aren't all they're cracked up to be. In my case, the husband died, and without him none of the rest means anything. I have some friends my age, confirmed bachelor/ettes, and sometimes I think that would be better than living and losing. Grass is always greener on the other side, I guess.

@LacunaLacrimalis Rest in Peace to your husband. I hope you find peace and happiness because you deserve it.
Love
FireFox :)

I'm 25. It was a hard process learning to stop comparing myself so much to others my age. Getting off social media helped a lot. Delete your Facebook and Instagram and whatever and see how you feel in even a couple weeks. Disconnect from the matrix a little. Why do you care so much about doing exactly what some invisible maestro of society wants you to do? About being exactly like everyone else? The world has a lot to offer you if you look in a new place.

@its-about-time

It's not social media the thing is I bump in to my old classmates and the people I grew up with. Just seeing their lives it is so impossible not to feel like a failure. Before the pandemic happened I went to a party in 2019 which my former classmates where there. Its hard not feel like a failure when see your former classmates having careers, children and doing all these cool things in their life since leaving school. One of my classmates is an NHS doctor, another classmate went to Oxford University, got married and has a career in a pr firm all at 23 years old and others have stable jobs .

In my own family I have relatives my age getting married. My relatives tend to show off a lot.

It's like everyone around me has something amazing happening for them and I have done nothing huge with my life.

When I read stories of young people on the forbes under 30 list or young people getting elected in to public office like AOC in the USA or nadia whittome who became an MP at 23 years old. She is currently the youngest sitting MP in the UK parliament.

It is literally impossible not to feel like a failure when society constantly promotes young people doing big things before they hit 30.

Its the reason why I want to end my life in my 30s

 

[FireFox]

You seem like a smart girl. I'm sure you have good qualities and things going for yourself. Maybe it hasn't yet materialized in your life but it very likely will at some point. You'll get to the boning part. When I was 25, I was on welfare, couldn't get a gf because was broke. Things turned around for me at 27 when I started my own business. 25 I was a loser, 32 success by all standards. After an unfortunate event I'm here, but what I would suggest for you, is to focus on good things in your life, whatever brings you happiness and on the side work on things to improve other areas. Success can come and you'll forget bad shit.

@AI_stargate
Physically I have the body of an adult woman but mentally I always feel like the unpopular outsider teenage girl who never had a guy like her. I had to watch the girls at school have guys find them pretty whereas I was just mocked for my appearance and who I am by the guys at school. If I liked a guy another girl always caught his eye and I was just overlooked all the time.

The worst thing about being weird outsider girl at school is experiencing the guys you like be ashamed of you because you have this reputation of being the werid girl. I liked this boy once at school and turned out he was ashamed me.

I am on welfare too because my job ended. I am just so mad at myself for not preparing for life after my job ended. I was doing so well in my job but my employer couldnt afford to keep me permanently in the company.

 

[Smart No More]

You have to break this cycle. Many people have a perfect start in life and can't always attribute their successes to their own hard work. Some can and for them we should be happy. If they're rubbing it in your face then they're assholes and they'll see their comeuppance foe being a nasty poece of shit one day. The way they treat people and the things it indicates about them hints that they'll never have genuine connections in their life and people will slowly but surely fall away. Marriage stats are pretty dire too. People marrying young often end up divorced and desperately unhappy. Not least because of the financial fallout. People that seem happy often aren't and if they genuinely are then good for them. It says nothing about you. Just that you each found your way to different milestones at different points. You mustn't judge yourself on achieving these milestones as attaining them prematurely isn't healthy. Attaining them at all isn't even necessary to consider your life complete and accomplished. There many way to do that but I understand that you would like the relationship and a nice job. It's a general staple desire for many and that's fine but they shouldn't define your or your opinion of yourself. You're allowing the flashy show offs to grind you down.

Do you like films? Can I suggest watching American Beauty? It's a great film I think you may identify with!

There's no shame in unemployment. Particularly at this point in time. You clearly made efforts to work and have the desire to work. You're not lazy. Self entitled or any other negative that may be thrown at the unemployed.

One thing that's not doing you any favours is allowing yourself to drown in your disappointment and self loathing. You can be happy! It's essential that you pick yourself up and find your qualities. Stop focusing on what you dislike. It's easy for me to say, I know, but it's true and you need to hear it. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Set some realistic goals. Simple ones. One might be finding some social situations you wouldn't usually use as a default. I mean like, meet a good amount of strangers. Do some social activities that will challenge you a little. Go on a few blind dates and expect and accept that they may not bring the results you want and be happy with anything positive as a bonus. Find something you enjoy and are good at. That's an important one. It give you something to talk about with people and importantly will help you find some self worth. Art/craft is a really good solution for that because there are so many forms you can try and it's subjective so you don't have to be technically proficient. You can habe good concepts, create visual metaphors and even express the feeling you're battling with in a cathartic way which doesn't have to be obviously interpretable by anyone close to you that you don't want to know your darkest inner feelings. But to a wider audience that are distanced from you it might be appreciated fully. But the goal really is to find confidence and satisfaction from something you do.

I could go on an on. I must resist. Just please give that film a watch. Maybe forgive the 'plastic bag scene' as it's a bit cringe but the rest of the film holds up as a masterpiece and serves some insights on some of the issues I think you face. At worst it's just a nice cathartic watch for you.

 

[FireFox]

You have to break this cycle. Many people have a perfect start in life and can't always attribute their successes to their own hard work. Some can and for them we should be happy. If they're rubbing it in your face then they're assholes and they'll see their comeuppance foe being a nasty poece of shit one day. The way they treat people and the things it indicates about them hints that they'll never have genuine connections in their life and people will slowly but surely fall away. Marriage stats are pretty dire too. People marrying young often end up divorced and desperately unhappy. Not least because of the financial fallout. People that seem happy often aren't and if they genuinely are then good for them. It says nothing about you. Just that you each found your way to different milestones at different points. You mustn't judge yourself on achieving these milestones as attaining them prematurely isn't healthy. Attaining them at all isn't even necessary to consider your life complete and accomplished. There many way to do that but I understand that you would like the relationship and a nice job. It's a general staple desire for many and that's fine but they shouldn't define your or your opinion of yourself. You're allowing the flashy show offs to grind you down.

Do you like films? Can I suggest watching American Beauty? It's a great film I think you may identify with!

There's no shame in unemployment. Particularly at this point in time. You clearly made efforts to work and have the desire to work. You're not lazy. Self entitled or any other negative that may be thrown at the unemployed.

One thing that's not doing you any favours is allowing yourself to drown in your disappointment and self loathing. You can be happy! It's essential that you pick yourself up and find your qualities. Stop focusing on what you dislike. It's easy for me to say, I know, but it's true and you need to hear it. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Set some realistic goals. Simple ones. One might be finding some social situations you wouldn't usually use as a default. I mean like, meet a good amount of strangers. Do some social activities that will challenge you a little. Go on a few blind dates and expect and accept that they may not bring the results you want and be happy with anything positive as a bonus. Find something you enjoy and are good at. That's an important one. It give you something to talk about with people and importantly will help you find some self worth. Art/craft is a really good solution for that because there are so many forms you can try and it's subjective so you don't have to be technically proficient. You can habe good concepts, create visual metaphors and even express the feeling you're battling with in a cathartic way which doesn't have to be obviously interpretable by anyone close to you that you don't want to know your darkest inner feelings. But to a wider audience that are distanced from you it might be appreciated fully. But the goal really is to find confidence and satisfaction from something you do.

I could go on an on. I must resist. Just please give that film a watch. Maybe forgive the 'plastic bag scene' as it's a bit cringe but the rest of the film holds up as a masterpiece and serves some insights on some of the issues I think you face. At worst it's just a nice cathartic watch for you.

@Smart No More Thank you for your reply. I love reading your replies

Physically I have the body of an adult woman but mentally I always feel like the rejected werid outsider teenage girl who was always made fun of and never had guy like her.

The worst thing about being weird outsider girl at school is experiencing the guys you have a crush on be ashamed of you because you have this reputation of being the werid girl. Time and time again it bothers me a lot as I grow older.

When i was 16 I really liked this boy at school. He was smart, really funny and cute, that's is why I liked him. He was ashamed of me.

I thought he was different but it turned out he was just like everyone else in the school who thought I was the werid girl.

 

[UnwantedUnlovable85]

Hello my friends at SS I turn 25 next month and i am not looking forward to it.

I am depressed at turning 25 because I have nothing to show for my life. I have no major achievements, never been in a relationship and still a virgin. We live in a culture that magnifies youth success especially within a person's teens and early 20s. If you are young and successful society puts you on a pedestal. I just feel like failure seeing my former classmates have careers, getting married and doing cool things since leaving school. All I did was go university and study law and pretty much feel apart after graduating. I had a job which ended 2 months ago and now back to square one.

I have a body of an adult but mentally I always feel like the invisible outsider teenage girl the boys at never wanted and always made fun of. Never having a relationship in my teens I never grew up. All my classmates knew everything about sex and relationships wheras I knew nothing. It is so humiliating. Relationship are symbolic of maturity and growing up.

I don't want to live to see the next 20 years or more of my.

Where were you at 25 years old ?

Don't let society or anybody tell you anything about socially acceptable tripe. I was miserable at 25 with a drug addict stalker, that robbed me of my good looks and money. I had to be a step dad at that time and though I enjoyed my step kids and raised them properly it was not on my list at 24. There's nothing wrong with just living your life as you see fit, I was when I was that age and was fine with it. Freedom is a good thing but when and if you're ready to settle then never settle for less or you'll be taken advantage of. If you're making money to pay bills and make rent and have some savings then you're doing just fine. Just because you're not some young dopey YouTube influencer doesn't make you a failure. A tip though when seeking out a woman: make sure she does not have kids, a decent job, her own place, a working car and is a drug addict, former drug addict or alcoholic. Quite honestly sex is highly overrated, when it happens it happens and yes it feels good but it's not a be all end all. In short just take it easy and don't be in a rush to what people deem as socially acceptable and the rest is cream cheese

 

[motel rooms]

he was against promiscuousness and sex before marriage, I believe.

 

[outrider567]

Honestly … I was on alt.suicide.holiday. Sigh.

Got married, had a kid, got my Master's, got a job … which was all good for awhile, but flash forward to age 42 and here I am. Those external milestones aren't all they're cracked up to be. In my case, the husband died, and without him none of the rest means anything. I have some friends my age, confirmed bachelor/ettes, and sometimes I think that would be better than living and losing. Grass is always greener on the other side, I guess.

'none of the rest mean anything' just how I feel after the shocking death of my girlfriend