Look man before i answer this question I'd be upfront and tell you this, before i got hope, i was also down this deep rabbit hole. I'd like to ask if you've seeked help first and foremost, if you haven't you can start a thread asking for opinions of others on whatever matter it is that plagues you. But if your mind is made up yes there are ways to get it but you have to be careful because for one it's hard to get for a reason and secondly it's a whole process. There's a private dark web page dedicated for things like this. but seek help first and if that fails, you'll be pointed in the right direction as to the question you are asking but please seek help FIRST
