
ketopia
Missing my Mom
- Jun 4, 2025
- 68
I want to ctb by sn in the comfort of my own bed, with my cats nearby and my weighted dinosaur, but the more I think about it the more I can't imagine doing that to my brother and sister-in-law. Also, i live on the third floor and I'm heavy. EMS wouldn't be able to fit a stretcher or backboard through my stairwell. They'd have to like... fireman carry me. Even in death that's humiliating.
I've considered driving somewhere and doing it in my car, but there's risk of being found and I don't want to be rescued. There's also risk of not being found, after days in a hot car... I want my family to be able to use or sell my vehicle once I'm gone.
I could get a hotel, but I have no valid excuse for being gone for a whole night. My brother knows I'm a danger to myself and would raise serious alarm.
So what can I do? I thought about getting a hotel and saying I'm staying with a friend, but I'm worried he'd contact her to confirm. And I don't want to use her as an alibi while I ctb and leave her with the guilt. Please help me think this through
I've considered driving somewhere and doing it in my car, but there's risk of being found and I don't want to be rescued. There's also risk of not being found, after days in a hot car... I want my family to be able to use or sell my vehicle once I'm gone.
I could get a hotel, but I have no valid excuse for being gone for a whole night. My brother knows I'm a danger to myself and would raise serious alarm.
So what can I do? I thought about getting a hotel and saying I'm staying with a friend, but I'm worried he'd contact her to confirm. And I don't want to use her as an alibi while I ctb and leave her with the guilt. Please help me think this through
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