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Title. For me personally I'm at a lost. I want to do it in my house but if I turn into a ghost I don't want to be trapped in my house forever. And if I do it outside I would most likely have to change my method to Full Suspension Hanging instead of partial. Plus I'm paranoid a weirdo will find my dead body and do something awful to it.
Somewhere that means I can finally cease existing in peace and finally be free from this cruel, torturous existence I always saw as the most terrible, tragic mistake, for me existence itself truly is the problem and I'd never wish for any of this rather I just want to not exist. Non-existence truly is all I personally see as desirable in this torturous, cruel existence and all I hope for is to never wake ever again, I wish to cease existing in an guaranteed way with no more pain, no more suffering and all finally gone and forgotten for me, more than anything I wish this existence of suffering all for the sake of it was never imposed at all.
The best place for me in terms of making sure no one is traumatized, my body and note are found, and physically possible would be a hotel room.
My ideal place to ctb would be one of those national parks where you can camp. The really big ones that are so remote and isolated that the workers have to hike for days in the forest to get to their stationed tower. Think Firewatch, the video game. That game was so beautiful. Despite being an efilist, I can't help but to find nature really serene. It's calming. It's where we belong. But my body and suicide note might never be found. I think it would be harsher on my family to only know that I vanished in the great outdoors and to keep guessing what happened to me. Especially since my bf knows I will probably ctb, he would know the truth but have to keep it a secret from them. Plus I don't have access to those parks unfortunately.
I wish I could do it in my home exactly in my room. I feel the most comfortable there.
But that's not possible because of few reasons like logistics, sharing the flat with 2 roommates.
Title. For me personally I'm at a lost. I want to do it in my house but if I turn into a ghost I don't want to be trapped in my house forever. And if I do it outside I would most likely have to change my method to Full Suspension Hanging instead of partial. Plus I'm paranoid a weirdo will find my dead body and do something awful to it.
I'd rather do it at home because of my chronic pain, but I don't want my grandmother to hage to deal with finding my dead body, she's stressed enough as is.
I've been thinking by the lake on a rainy day since less people would be around and it isn't too far of a distance for me.
Back home near the beach. I want to close my eyes and smell the sweet smell of the ocean; I want to hear the waves crashing against the sand. I want the sound smell to be the only things I think of as I take my last breadth.
I'd rather do it at home because of my chronic pain, but I don't want my grandmother to hage to deal with finding my dead body, she's stressed enough as is.
I've been thinking by the lake on a rainy day since less people would be around and it isn't too far of a distance for me.
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