Where do you plan to CTB? Who do you plan to discover you?

[anon789]

I'd ideally love to ctb at home in my room, but I have roommates and I wouldn't want them to find me or be there when someone else finds me. I just think that's unnecessary trauma for them. So I plan to rent an airbnb in a very isolated cozy cabin. I've already found the exact one. I'd rent it out for a few days and once I start the process to ctb via sn I will send a 24hr scheduled email to the local police station explaining that it's a scheduled email and I've killed myself using whatever list of medications, give them my address, my name and description, where I'll be located in the cabin etc. This way first responders will be the ones to discover my body and hopefully traumatize them less than it would others. I'd reserve an an extra day or two at the airbnb to clean up the place if need be.

If you have created a rough plan to ctb, where are you going to do it?

 

[Nanako]

Home. Can't afford to do it anywhere else. Gonna suck for my family and I do feel evil for that, but it is what it is fuck this world I tried to prevent this outcome to the best of my ability lol sry for the rant

 

[anon789]

Home. Can't afford to do it anywhere else. Gonna suck for my family and I do feel evil for that, but it is what it is fuck this world I tried to prevent this outcome to the best of my ability lol sry for the rant

Is there a way you could charge to a credit card and do it at another location? Even a cheap motel? Not saying you have to, just wondering if you were concerned about hurting your family if these other options might work.

 

[outrider567]

In my laundry room/storage room--That's where my Nitrogen set up is--The police will discover me, after a few days

 

[Nanako]

Is there a way you could charge to a credit card and do it at another location? Even a cheap motel? Not saying you have to, just wondering if you were concerned about hurting your family if these other options might work.

Nope, not through any method that they wouldn't find out about it.

 

[anon789]

In my laundry room/storage room--That's where my Nitrogen set up is

Do you plan to make yourself comfortable with a mattress or something? Also who do you think will find you? Sorry if these are too pressing, I'm honestly just curious.

 

[outrider567]

Do you plan to make yourself comfortable with a mattress or something? Also who do you think will find you? Sorry if these are too pressing, I'm honestly just curious.

Yes, I have an air matress

 

[Praestat_Mori]

At home. I'd like to CTB in my bed while being asleep but probably it's gonna be the bathroom. I plan using CO.

 

[anon789]

Nope, not through any method that they wouldn't find out about it.

I don't know your situation. Things sound hard, I'm sorry.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

I'd ideally love to ctb at home in my room, but I have roommates and I wouldn't want them to find me or be there when someone else finds me. I just think that's unnecessary trauma for them. So I plan to rent an airbnb in a very isolated cozy cabin. I've already found the exact one. I'd rent it out for a few days and once I start the process to ctb via sn I will send a 24hr scheduled email to the local police station explaining that it's a scheduled email and I've killed myself using whatever list of medications, give them my address, my name and description, where I'll be located in the cabin etc. This way first responders will be the ones to discover my body and hopefully traumatize them less than it would others. I'd reserve an an extra day or two at the airbnb to clean up the place if need be.

If you have created a rough plan to ctb, where are you going to do it?

Maybe this is just the cynic in me but dont a bunch of air bnbs have hidden cameras? I mean I guess hotels potentially could too lol. But I'd be so fucking paranoid

 

[anon789]

Yes, I have an air matress

You deserve to be comfortable

Maybe this is just the cynic in me but dont a bunch of air bnbs have hidden cameras? I mean I guess hotels potentially could too lol. But I'd be so fucking paranoid

Good point, but even if they did I doubt it would be in the bedroom area and EVEN if it was, I probably just look like I'm drinking water and taking sleeping medication.... I hope!

At home. I'd like to CTB in my bed while being asleep but probably it's gonna be the bathroom. I plan using CO.

Sorry for my ignorance, what is CO? Also is there anything you could do to make it more comfortable for yourself while in the washroom?

 

[Forever Sleep]

At home and the police.

 

[anon789]

At home and the police.

Home seems like the most comfortable place. How will you contact the police?

 

[Krokodile]

I guess it will be dictated by the method. If I go by hypothermia then in a nearby forest. I would set up a cancellable delayed email message to the police so they can come find the body.

 

[anon789]

I guess it will be dictated by the method. If I go by hypothermia then in a nearby forest. I would set up a cancellable delayed email message to the police so they can come find the body.

Do you plan to make yourself comfortable during this method? Also would you give your exact location to the police or just a general area

 

[Forever Sleep]

Home seems like the most comfortable place. How will you contact the police?

I was hoping to send them a delayed email 2 days after but, they don't seem to have an email address- only the commisioner does. So, I'll more likely send my solicitor a delayed email and ask them to inform the police. I've got it mostly figured out. I'll likely tell them to tell the police where I hid a key- so they don't have to break the door down and tell them what to expect. I'll also attach my goodbye notes to the email to the solicitor. I've heard these don't always get passed on and they'll need to contact them anyway because of my will. I'll hand write a note for the police to say it was suicide too. That's if I ever have the guts to do it... but yes, I suppose those of us who live alone are fortunate in some ways. I still worry about the neighbours though. There are children next door. I hope they don't see much of it.

 

[Krokodile]

Do you plan to make yourself comfortable during this method? Also would you give your exact location to the police or just a general area

I already began an attempt with that once (though with no emails), when the body starts shivering really hard from the cold there's certainly no comfort to be had. I didn't have the willpower to go through with that so I chickened out. I think the only way to be comfortable with this method is to be unconscious. I was penniless back then so I couldn't afford alcohol to pass out with, next time I won't have that problem so it might go better.

I'll be exact with the coordinates assuming I decide the exact location ahead of time, I'll just make certain that the delay on the email is long enough (days) that by the time it is sent I will either be dead or back home to cancel it, if I chicken out again.

 

[anon789]

I already began an attempt with that once (though with no emails), when the body starts shivering really hard from the cold there's certainly no comfort to be had. I didn't have the willpower to go through with that so I chickened out. I think the only way to be comfortable with this method is to be unconscious. I was penniless back then so I couldn't afford alcohol to pass out with, next time I won't have that problem so it might go better.

I'll be exact with the coordinates assuming I decide the exact location ahead of time, I'll just make certain that the delay on the email is long enough (days) that by the time it is sent I will either be dead or back home to cancel it, if I chicken out again.

I didn't know it could be delayed for more than 24hrs, that's good to know. Sounds like SI really kicked in and maybe that's a good thing, gave you more time to think about it if you decide to attempt again. Do you plan to take anything else or just alcohol?

 

[penguinl0v3s]

I used to not care about who discovered the body, but then I met someone who is still suffering from PTSD like 8 years after seeing someone's dead body. So… preferably nobody should discover the body.

 

[anon789]

I used to not care about who discovered the body, but then I met someone who is still suffering from PTSD like 8 years after seeing someone's dead body. So… preferably nobody should discover the body.

Makes sense that it could be pretty traumatizing. Is not being discovered by anyone an actual possibility though?

 

[Krokodile]

I didn't know it could be delayed for more than 24hrs, that's good to know. Sounds like SI really kicked in and maybe that's a good thing, gave you more time to think about it if you decide to attempt again. Do you plan to take anything else or just alcohol?

I suppose I'll research if anything I can get over the counter combined with alcohol helps with the passing out. I don't have contacts to obtain illegal or restricted drugs, and I don't really feel like trying to make any.

 

[Ligottian]

I live alone and have extremely few visitors or other contacts. Probably send physical mail to law enforcement, fire department, and perhaps other local government agencies. Just so I hopefully don't end up a decomposed mush by the time I am found.

 

[Rhizomorph1]

I'd ideally love to ctb at home in my room, but I have roommates and I wouldn't want them to find me or be there when someone else finds me. I just think that's unnecessary trauma for them. So I plan to rent an airbnb in a very isolated cozy cabin. I've already found the exact one. I'd rent it out for a few days and once I start the process to ctb via sn I will send a 24hr scheduled email to the local police station explaining that it's a scheduled email and I've killed myself using whatever list of medications, give them my address, my name and description, where I'll be located in the cabin etc. This way first responders will be the ones to discover my body and hopefully traumatize them less than it would others. I'd reserve an an extra day or two at the airbnb to clean up the place if need be.

If you have created a rough plan to ctb, where are you going to do it?

I have a similar plan. I plan to ctb in my car on some off road in the middle of the night and will use FutureMe.org to send a message to emergency response services.

Emergency response personnel are trained and prepared for these situations so traumatization is very unlikely unless the method is particularly violent or gruesome. People can be trained for emotional compartmentalization and preparedness/training for these circumstances also significantly reduces the likelihood of traumatization.

I personally believe it is quite ethical to prepare one's ctb in a way that only those who consent to seeing the outcomes of suicide will find your body. I encourage people to avoid trains/jumping/locations where family will find one for these reasons. But ofc I don't judge those that do (we're desperate after all)

I've pre-writted my notice to the authorities to make it easy for them:

To whom it may concern,

I regret that you have to be the one to bear this news today, but this letter is to inform you that I, [my full name], have committed suicide. At the time of receiving this letter I should already be deceased well within 12 hours ago (or greater). Please pass on to those tasked with discovering my body that I committed suicide by consuming a solution containing a lethal dose of sodium nitrite. No gasses, weapons, or other means were used that could put those who retrieve me in danger. Nobody except myself was involved in planning or completing my suicide. You can find my body located in my vehicle at [location].

My personal information:

• health care number
• Birthdate
• Emergency contacts (parents)

 

[penguinl0v3s]

Makes sense that it could be pretty traumatizing. Is not being discovered by anyone an actual possibility though?

Look at how many bridge deaths have bodies not recovered. So there must be a way. Or Japan's suicide forest, where people go to die alone.

 

[onlylovesdogs]

Hey OP, an AirBNB sounds like a great idea. I'm adding that to my list of plans. A nice cabin, just like you mentioned.

 

[anon789]

Hey OP, an AirBNB sounds like a great idea. I'm adding that to my list of plans. A nice cabin, just like you mentioned.

I feel kind of guilty aiding in your plan. I hope you find comfort. Another reason I thought a cabin would be a nice place is if I decide to change my mind once I'm there I can have a cozy little vacation. I'll make sure to bring my favourite foods and important things with me (like the stuffy I've had since I was a child) and have a journal to write down some things. This little cabin idea is half about planning to die in it and half about being in it to decide why I want to live.

I have a similar plan. I plan to ctb in my car on some off road in the middle of the night and will use FutureMe.org to send a message to emergency response services.

Emergency response personnel are trained and prepared for these situations so traumatization is very unlikely unless the method is particularly violent or gruesome. People can be trained for emotional compartmentalization and preparedness/training for these circumstances also significantly reduces the likelihood of traumatization.

I personally believe it is quite ethical to prepare one's ctb in a way that only those who consent to seeing the outcomes of suicide will find your body. I encourage people to avoid trains/jumping/locations where family will find one for these reasons. But ofc I don't judge those that do (we're desperate after all)

I've pre-writted my notice to the authorities to make it easy for them:

To whom it may concern,

I regret that you have to be the one to bear this news today, but this letter is to inform you that I, [my full name], have committed suicide. At the time of receiving this letter I should already be deceased well within 12 hours ago (or greater). Please pass on to those tasked with discovering my body that I committed suicide by consuming a solution containing a lethal dose of sodium nitrite. No gasses, weapons, or other means were used that could put those who retrieve me in danger. Nobody except myself was involved in planning or completing my suicide. You can find my body located in my vehicle at [location].

My personal information:

• health care number
• Birthdate
• Emergency contacts (parents)

Even though I have a very similar email already written out, reading yours made me very emotional. Something about it being so real. I hope you never have to send that email, friend.

 

[Ligottian]

If we only all had legal, quick, painless euthanasia at our disposal. ...Sigh.

 

[anon789]

If we only all had legal, quick, painless euthanasia at our disposal. ...Sigh.

Reminds me of the suicide booth from futurama!!

 

[asian.neet]

In my bedroom

My parents can find me. Hopefully they'll read my note that I wanna be buried in California and not shove me with the rest of my dead relatives in the east coast.

I dont care if they're demoralized. I just wanna die that's all.

 

[hi-okbye]

i'm considering my bedroom, but most likely outdoors, either in a tree or a lake. if outside then probably the police, hopefully not a passerby.