I

infidelity37

New Member
Oct 29, 2024
2
I don't even know where to start.

My whole life has felt like a constant downward spiral. The lows are always so, so low, and the highs are always barely there. They're never high enough to justify the lows.

I never wanted to live this long. I wanted to end my life on my 21st birthday. I made horrible impulsive decisions to ruin my life to push myself further over the edge. To make sure I wouldn't chicken out and not do it.

I didn't do it.

Now im stuck facing the consequences of my self destructive actions. I'm in tons of debt that I can't afford to crawl out of. I lost my job, so I really can't fucking afford my rent, let alone the tens of thousands of dollars of debt I put myself in.

I also just lost my boyfriend and my best friend. He was all I had. He told that he was in love with me, that he needed me, that we were going to get married one day. I guess that was a lie.

He's the only support system I had.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what's the point of continuing living, when it feels like life is nothing but constant suffering. I rarely feel joy. I haven't been happy in ages. I don't even remember what feeling okay feels like.

Work and my boyfriend were all I had. The only things keeping me going. I lost both in the same week.

The only real thing keeping me alive is the fear that I'll fuck up and end up permanently disabled.

I wish I had done it when I planned.
 
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Reactions: LifeQuitter, illAF, reyonrays and 3 others
Shadows From Hell

Shadows From Hell

If life is so short, why is it taking so long?
Oct 21, 2024
9
I been down the same road you are on. You got a job, a person who loves you, then BAM, it's all gone. Went from being a dream to a total nightmare.

She wiped my bank account dry, maxed out all my credit cards, and then she disappeared without saying a word.

I already promised myself it will never happen again. I'd rather be dead than go through another relationship.
 
I

infidelity37

New Member
Oct 29, 2024
2
I been down the same road you are on. You got a job, a person who loves you, then BAM, it's all gone. Went from being a dream to a total nightmare.

She wiped my bank account dry, maxed out all my credit cards, and then she disappeared without saying a word.

I already promised myself it will never happen again. I'd rather be dead than go through another relationship.
I don't know what to do. It feels like there's no way to climb out of this one. I can't eat or sleep. My heart is pounding all the time.
 
reyonrays

reyonrays

Member
Oct 27, 2024
10
Truly sorry to hear that, i know that debt alone can push alot of people of the edge.

I hope you get better and, as time passes, find at least some resolution in the future.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,930
Existing also just feels like suffering to me and I also continue to suffer because of fear of trying to die going wrong, personally I find it terrifying how such could happen. But anyway I wish you the best.
 

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