Where are my iatrogenic injured at ? Akathisia, PSSD, dysautonomia...

[baabbaabbaab]

I feel a bit lonely in this living hell. No help, no support, no cure in sight. No understanding, no acknowledgement anywhere - or so little...

Planning CTB is too hard with this hellish injury going on and I feel like I'm running out of time.

I don't hate life at all, I want to live so hard but my life has been robbed, taken away from me to such an extent that no one will ever be able to measure how much I have lost, how much we have lost.

I've read a signature here that says that there is no limit to human suffering : never has this statement resonated so much within me. And I thought I was living hell prior to that : how wrong was I ! If you feel like it, check some akathisia support groups or testimonies and you'll understand why it's a condition that has been described as literally inducing suicides.

One of its core symptoms is suicidality urges in individuals with no prior history of SI : in those support groups I mentioned earlier, it's very common to see RIP threads popping up every other week mentioning sufferers who CTB.

Brain damage, whether iatrogenic or traumatic, are one of the worst things that can happen to an individual. It's invisible and unknown (as opposed to physical injuries or known "invisible" injuries like cancer) and when the brain is altered in its very miniature core, every symptom imaginable is a possibility. PSSD, TBI, akathisia... Living with one of those is experiencing first-hand a living abnormality, if that does make any sense.

Anyway, I'm not sure where I wanted to go with that thread. Maybe inform a bit about what I and others are living and more importantly, find a way to chat with those with similar tragic conditions. As I said above, it's a lonely and misunderstood road.

Feel free to say hi and share what you'd like to.

PS : this thread doesn't aim at diminishing the suffering and the tragic conditions of others. As I said, I just wanted to focus on those poorly known (if at all) conditions and brain injuries.

 

[Dot]

@bonkers570 postd abt pssd ydy

 

[GhostShell]

This is my main reason for CTB even if everything was fixed. I am not the person I was, the young genius with a ton of potential and an entire world to explore. I have lost the best years of my life, I have become a bitter, angry, hurtful person. I hate when I am mean and rude to everyone. It is hard being so broken beyond repair, making everyone elses lived worse.

There is a severe lack of science in this area, no controlled study for "lets drug this group of 13 year olds with antipsychotics for 10 years and monitor them for 20 vs a control group", the most there are some month-long studies of already fucked up people in various stages of withdrawal - of course taking drugs helps people in withdrawal!

The damage is mostly invisible to current medicine and blamed solely on the patient.

 

[baabbaabbaab]

@bonkers570 postd abt pssd ydy

Sorry, I must have missed it.

I have seen some posts about it but I wanted a thread a bit bigger, where we could all gather and share without having to create a new thread every time. I didn't share must about myself on that first thread, just wanted to inform and open talks about this one of a kind type of suffering. I hope it's ok ?

This is my main reason for CTB even if everything was fixed. I am not the person I was, the young genius with a ton of potential and an entire world to explore. I have lost the best years of my life, I have become a bitter, angry, hurtful person. I hate when I am mean and rude to everyone. It is hard being so broken beyond repair, making everyone elses lived worse.

There is a severe lack of science in this area, no controlled study for "lets drug this group of 13 year olds with antipsychotics for 10 years and monitor them for 20 vs a control group", the most there are some month-long studies of already fucked up people in various stages of withdrawal - of course taking drugs helps people in withdrawal!

The damage is mostly invisible to current medicine and blamed solely on the patient.

All this is very true. They have tested those drugs (I'm talking SSRI) for some weeks (4 to 6 weeks I believe) but haven't tested them for longer periods. And they haven't tested them on ADHD, TSA people specifically. And the "chemical imbalance" myth has been debunked a long time ago and as you said, they have no idea how it works in the brain. What we can assume now is that it impacts the brain, its structure : that's why people can still have symptoms 5 years later. And it's not only psych drugs : akathisia can come from AE, antibiotics... I know a poor man who got one pill of AB 5 years ago and he's still struggling with symptoms...

If you come with those kinds of symptoms to your doc : he/she will say that your anxiety/depression or whatever is coming back, so you have to up the dose. Or he/she will prescribe another drug to counter this one, and so on...

There are more and more studies questioning the effectiveness of AD, showing that it is probably as effective as a placebo. I wish they put us on placebo pills instead of that shit...

 

[Dot]

Sorry, I must have missed it.

= ok - slf sw thm mentn thr issu ydy s/ ws jst taggng thm t/ inclde thm in convrsatn s/ tht u cn bth b awre of ech-othr

 

[stuckinthemud]

Hey I was injured by an ssri in 2016. Diagnosed serotonin syndrome.
I had full blown akathisia too.
I healed to like 70% by 2019 but Covid and an abusive relationship took me out of remission.
I have been dealing with agonising symptoms for months on end since May 23.
The worse are severe anhedonia and heavy DP/DR (24/7 dissociated) hear my own thoughts, SI, blurry vision, visual snow, poor memory, CFS, PSSD. I could list so much more.
I will likely ctb this here just have to obtain SN.
I'm sorry guys this happened to you too. I loved life before I took citalopram and was polydrugged till my brain blew out.

 

[silent.desperation]

I feel a bit lonely in this living hell. No help, no support, no cure in sight. No understanding, no acknowledgement anywhere - or so little...

Planning CTB is too hard with this hellish injury going on and I feel like I'm running out of time.

I don't hate life at all, I want to live so hard but my life has been robbed, taken away from me to such an extent that no one will ever be able to measure how much I have lost, how much we have lost.

I've read a signature here that says that there is no limit to human suffering : never has this statement resonated so much within me. And I thought I was living hell prior to that : how wrong was I ! If you feel like it, check some akathisia support groups or testimonies and you'll understand why it's a condition that has been described as literally inducing suicides.

One of its core symptoms is suicidality urges in individuals with no prior history of SI : in those support groups I mentioned earlier, it's very common to see RIP threads popping up every other week mentioning sufferers who CTB.

Brain damage, whether iatrogenic or traumatic, are one of the worst things that can happen to an individual. It's invisible and unknown (as opposed to physical injuries or known "invisible" injuries like cancer) and when the brain is altered in its very miniature core, every symptom imaginable is a possibility. PSSD, TBI, akathisia... Living with one of those is experiencing first-hand a living abnormality, if that does make any sense.

Anyway, I'm not sure where I wanted to go with that thread. Maybe inform a bit about what I and others are living and more importantly, find a way to chat with those with similar tragic conditions. As I said above, it's a lonely and misunderstood road.

Feel free to say hi and share what you'd like to.

PS : this thread doesn't aim at diminishing the suffering and the tragic conditions of others. As I said, I just wanted to focus on those poorly known (if at all) conditions and brain injuries.

Very sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds awful. Have you ever investigated if cannabis could help alleviate some/any of your symptoms? Perhaps even if it's only for pain management...

 

[baabbaabbaab]

Very sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds awful. Have you ever investigated if cannabis could help alleviate some/any of your symptoms? Perhaps even if it's only for pain management...

I wish I could. No medical cannabis in my country. And my brain has some receptors damages so I don't know if it would even do something (I can't feel benzo, alcohol, sleeping pills... and probably even barbiturates because they're acting on the same receptors...)

 

[nbdead]

I'm also suffering from PSSD and planning an exit soon. I constantly have flashbacks of the first day I took those pills without knowing this was a possibility. Pretty devastating thinking about the life I could've lived if it weren't for SSRIs.

 

[bobcat01]

I'm also suffering from PSSD and planning an exit soon. I constantly have flashbacks of the first day I took those pills without knowing this was a possibility. Pretty devastating thinking about the life I could've lived if it weren't for SSRIs.

Me too.

 

[mainlanders_son]

Took Zoloft for 5 days last August, ramped up my anxiety to an incomprehensible degree, which caused my mind to rip itself open. Total anhedonia after that one night.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

For years I was drugged on various psychiatric medications with no effort to investigate anything beyond useless surface level "physical exams". I always felt worse and worse, and no one believed me.

Now I find out a decade later that I have a poorly understood brain defect where my brain is sinking into my spine. There's barely any medical literature about it, you're not guaranteed to have symptomatic improvement if you have brain surgery, there's a pretty hefty risk of complications, and many doctors don't know shit about it or will even offer the surgery as an option. I'm going to be suffering the rest of my life because of my faulty brain.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

For years I was drugged on various psychiatric medications with no effort to investigate anything beyond useless surface level "physical exams". I always felt worse and worse, and no one believed me.

Now I find out a decade later that I have a poorly understood brain defect where my brain is sinking into my spine. There's barely any medical literature about it, you're not guaranteed to have symptomatic improvement if you have brain surgery, there's a pretty hefty risk of complications, and many doctors don't know shit about it or will even offer the surgery as an option. I'm going to be suffering the rest of my life because of my faulty brain.

Yeah because autism wasn't enough our brains had to go even more haywire.

I myself am the victim of medical malpractice. People don't understand that just because something doesn't meet the very high threshold of sanctionable malpractice after which you can reasonably win in court or get a settlement or just have them suffer some professional consequences doesn't mean that everything they did was proper and right.

The immense room allowed for errors in clinical judgment disturbs me greatly.

When you identified the problem that you were diagnosed with it brought to mind a story I recall reading. An overweight woman had the symptoms that you described but they were always blamed on her weight. She lost weight but the symptoms persisted. She finally got an MRI and other rests that revealed a host of problems and ended up losing her ovaries probably unnecessarily.

Brain doctors (psychiatrists and neurologists) are the worst. They think they're so special with their purportedly exclusive knowledge of that elusive organ that they end up so close-minded, smug, and dismissive.