Whenever I open up about the pain of being a single woman I have received judgement and even bullying from other women

[FireFox]

I am 25 years old and never had a boyfriend. It's so hard seeing women I grew up getting married or moving in with boyfriends as reminder all my life I never had a man love me whereas everyone else found love. As I grow older I finally no longer cope anymore with the pain of the rejection I experienced from men I love. I open up online as I have nobody else to talk to.

I used to be a member of a feminist online community where women can discuss feminism and other topics. On forum in the past I opened up about things like valentines day upsets me because its reminder of how I missed out on everything never having a boyfriend and seeing the love couples give each other. I opened up about my body image issues especially battle with Anoxeria and insecurities.

There is this one woman on the site who has everything, the perfect life and all she has done is judge me honestly it is the worst thing ever. This woman is her early 40s she blonde hair and blue eyes. She is married and has children. I live in the UK and the woman is Canadian.

When I mentioned how valentines day is difficult she patronised me and said the following " as a married woman you are not missing much" then even told me to buy my own flowers and box of chocolates and even preached about how "no woman needs a man". She is the same woman who publicly shamed me over my posts I made about how I feel about having brown eyes, i was criticising my own eyes. She said how I am not "the only one who is a minority". I never met a person who judgemental and she has everything. On the feminist online other women were even making fun of me and mocking me and then other women say how they were wish they were me because of the abusive relationships they had

In the real world when I sometimes open up up majority women tell me I am "lucky" that I am single and "not missing anything at all". Nobody really understands it is so lonely.

I can't cope anymore and it's one of many reasons why I will end my life in my 30s. I feel like I have been single forever.

 

[FuneralCry]

Some people can be quite insensitive and of course they will never really be able to understand as they are not living your life. Other people can easily create more suffering with their words which is why sometimes I see it as best not to open up to others at all.

 

[Life_and_Death]

i know its not the same (F) and im not comfortable with money online, but those things aside, i would love to send you flowers for no other reason then just because you deserve them

 

[SadJessu]

Going to be painfully honest with you here. Feminist forums are the absolute last place to seek out empathy for these (very valid) struggles. Modern feminists and their spaces reek of misandry, even amongst those who claim to be happily married. From one woman to another, do not seek company amongst such groups. Third wave feminism is for women what MGTOW and inceldom is for men, a den of sexism and people with 'crabs in a bucket' mentalities. They claim to care about the struggles of women until actual women come forth, then it's just another snake pit.

Everyone needs and deserves love, to yearn for it is not selfish, nor worthy of ridicule, especially from those who are meant to have your back.

 

[hungry_ghost]

Those women are dumb.

The r/ForeverAloneWomen subreddit is pretty empathetic, but after a while, it gets to be too much of a pity party.

Women who have never had issues getting relationships will never be able to understand - they are incapable.

All they can do is measure your circumstances and experiences by the standard of their own personal paradigm.

They have always been able to have choices, and thus will never know what it's like to be lonely.

 

[anxiety cat]

I think these women are insecure and maybe a little envious that you are not tied(or even dependent) to a man so when you express that you are lonely, they criticize you. Almost like you have no right to complain because they have it worse. They are a bunch of toxic morons wrapped up in their own misery…

I'm so sorry you are getting crap from them. You can always vent here

 

[Someone123]

I am 25 years old and never had a boyfriend. It's so hard seeing women I grew up getting married or moving in with boyfriends as reminder all my life I never had a man love me whereas everyone else found love. As I grow older I finally no longer cope anymore with the pain of the rejection I experienced from men I love. I open up online as I have nobody else to talk to.

I used to be a member of a feminist online community where women can discuss feminism and other topics. On forum in the past I opened up about things like valentines day upsets me because its reminder of how I missed out on everything never having a boyfriend and seeing the love couples give each other. I opened up about my body image issues especially battle with Anoxeria and insecurities.

There is this one woman on the site who has everything, the perfect life and all she has done is judge me honestly it is the worst thing ever. This woman is her early 40s she blonde hair and blue eyes. She is married and has children. I live in the UK and the woman is Canadian.

When I mentioned how valentines day is difficult she patronised me and said the following " as a married woman you are not missing much" then even told me to buy my own flowers and box of chocolates and even preached about how "no woman needs a man". She is the same woman who publicly shamed me over my posts I made about how I feel about having brown eyes, i was criticising my own eyes. She said how I am not "the only one who is a minority". I never met a person who judgemental and she has everything. On the feminist online other women were even making fun of me and mocking me and then other women say how they were wish they were me because of the abusive relationships they had

In the real world when I sometimes open up up majority women tell me I am "lucky" that I am single and "not missing anything at all". Nobody really understands it is so lonely.

I can't cope anymore and it's one of many reasons why I will end my life in my 30s. I feel like I have been single forever.

There are some helpful and caring ladies who post on youtube and how to find love, and since you plan on living at least five more years I would bet that you could follow some of their advice and find love. There are also helpful and caring people who post on youtube about ideas for battling anorexia. If you search I think you can find some help here, and this can lead t other resources on other social media sites such as Facebook. Of course some of these women also turn this into a career, so there may be some services on their own websites that can help. Don't listen to the women who say to be content being single, they don't understand the loneliness- you can find someone. If you search by " how to find a relationship" you will find a lot of caring people who put a lot of effort into their videos to try to help with situations loike this. The same is true if you search by "how to beat anorexia"- people who have done this, doctors, and others have posted videos that can help. Best of luck.:)

 

[brokensea]

That sounds awful to get treated that way and doesn't sound like a good group to be a part of. Of course you feel pained and lonely. Who wouldn't? What is wrong with that? People don't really understand things unless they've been through it themselves a lot of times. They have just a complete crude lack of empathy. There's nothing wrong with how you feel and anyone saying otherwise doesn't know their head from their ass.

 

[DreamSurfer]

I think these women are insecure and maybe a little envious that you are not tied(or even dependent) to a man so when you express that you are lonely, they criticize you. Almost like you have no right to complain because they have it worse. They are a bunch of toxic morons wrapped up in their own misery…

I'm so sorry you are getting crap from them. You can always vent here

I am going to have to agree here. I have seen and experienced a lot in my life. Many times people put people down due to their own insecurities and issues. It sucks but as you get older, you'll see it more clearly and learn that what some random ass unhappy person on the internet says, doesn't mean shit. I feel sorry for them because they are so miserable, they try and drag you down too.

It definitely sounds like jealousy, but also "their truth" someone experienced a bad thing so they just get into the mentality that it will be like that for everyone. This whole extreme feminism and extreme masculinity battle going on, shows that clearly.

You have every right to have the feelings that you do, that is your life through your eyes, so f those people. You really need to be consciences of where you choose to vent. Sending you good vibes and energy!

 

[Brianiskillingme]

I am a widow and not ashamed to admit I missing having a man. Nothing wrong with how you feel Firefox.

 

[Maríasp]

I understand you sometimes I would like to have a partner I have been single for 10 years, but I am much older than you and I may no longer see it as a necessity, I love being alone. You are very young when you least expect it, the lucky one will surely appear

 

[FireFox]

@chokti Actually i discovered r/ForeverAloneWomen only this year and it has been very helpful and comforting in showing me that I am not alone and there women like me. I have made some friends on the sub.

I don't spend too much on the sub as it can be mentally draining, i pretty much limit my time on the sub.

The vast majority of women i do not understand how painful actually is to always be that girl or women who nevers gets asked out while everyone else does, to be that girl or woman who loves a man but he is too busy focusing on the other attractive women in the room and doesnt even care about your own existence as a person, to be the girl or women who stares in mirror and be so tormented by her appearance and worst of majority of women don't understand the true tormet of going through your entire never being loved or appreciated by a man while all the other girls and women get complimented, have a valentine's cards and flowers sent to them, go out together to places and actually be seen as that special someone. Women in relationships are so lucky and take a lot for granted. I am referring to women in normal, healthy and boring relationships.

I think these women are insecure and maybe a little envious that you are not tied(or even dependent) to a man so when you express that you are lonely, they criticize you. Almost like you have no right to complain because they have it worse. They are a bunch of toxic morons wrapped up in their own misery…

I'm so sorry you are getting crap from them. You can always vent here

@anxiety cat

Honestly it made so upset and angry seeing that married mother constantly just judging me, making me feel guilty and acting so preachy all the time. I have never in my met someone so judgemental. I have encountered judgemental people but this woman is the off scale and takes it to whole another level.

God forgive me for saying this but I hate women like her. I really do because she has everything and she does not how great she actually has it. Lots of women out there would give anything to have her beauty and stable life then here she is judging and belittling me and even going as far to make me feel guilty for having these insecurities. I don't want to be this way.

I will be honest I wish I was born a blonde haired blue eyed instead of being a black because men will me see as pretty . I was confident as a teenage girl in class I was not afraid to express my opinions or ideas in class, I fought back against the people bullying me and I found it natural to talk to people and liked getting to know people.

The boys at school thought I was a total freak and builled me regularly and other boys ignored me and others didnt want to be seen with the school freak. The black boys in my class always made fun of the black girls appearance whereas they were nicer to the white girls and wanted relationships with them, i saw it all time. I was regular target of mocking from these boys. One black boy in one of my classes made a song about my lips and he was laughing he was popular.

The guys I liked always choose the white girls over me. When I was 16 I feel in love with this boy at school because I thought he was different from the all the other boys at school but he was like everyone else who saw me as the school freak and didn't want to be associated with me anymore. The girl he ended up she was strawberry blonde and had green eyes. She was well liked in the school. It hurt seeing him chase after her and ulimately being with her.

Women judge me for wishing I was blonde haired blue eyed but look at how society values blonde hair and blue eyed women. Growing up i always saw how everyone saw the blonde girl as the pretty one and who got asked out however the black girls were always made fun of.

I just want to be loved and appreciated

 

[SadJessu]

@chokti Actually i discovered r/ForeverAloneWomen only this year and it has been very helpful and comforting in showing me that I am not alone and there women like me. I have made some friends on the sub.

I don't spend too much on the sub as it can be mentally draining, i pretty much limit my time on the sub.

The vast majority of women i do not understand how painful actually is to always be that girl or women who nevers gets asked out while everyone else does, to be that girl or woman who loves a man but he is too busy focusing on the other attractive women in the room and doesnt even care about your own existence as a person, to be the girl or women who stares in mirror and be so tormented by her appearance and worst of majority of women don't understand the true tormet of going through your entire never being loved or appreciated by a man while all the other girls and women get complimented, have a valentine's cards and flowers sent to them, go out together to places and actually be seen as that special someone. Women in relationships are so lucky and take a lot for granted. I am referring to women in normal, healthy and boring relationships.

@anxiety cat

Honestly it made so upset and angry seeing that married mother constantly just judging me, making me feel guilty and acting so preachy all the time. I have never in my met someone so judgemental. I have encountered judgemental people but this woman is the off scale and takes it to whole another level.

God forgive me for saying this but I hate women like her. I really do because she has everything and she does not how great she actually has it. Lots of women out there would give anything to have her beauty and stable life then here she is judging and belittling me and even going as far to make me feel guilty for having these insecurities. I don't want to be this way.

I will be honest I wish I was born a blonde haired blue eyed instead of being a black because men will me see as pretty . I was confident as a teenage girl in class I was not afraid to express my opinions or ideas in class, I fought back against the people bullying me and I found it natural to talk to people and liked getting to know people.

The boys at school thought I was a total freak and builled me regularly and other boys ignored me and others didnt want to be seen with the school freak. The black boys in my class always made fun of the black girls appearance whereas they were nicer to the white girls and wanted relationships with them, i saw it all time. I was regular target of mocking from these boys. One black boy in one of my classes made a song about my lips and he was laughing he was popular.

The guys I liked always choose the white girls over me. When I was 16 I feel in love with this boy at school because I thought he was different from the all the other boys at school but he was like everyone else who saw me as the school freak and didn't want to be associated with me anymore. The girl he ended up she was strawberry blonde and had green eyes. She was well liked in the school. It hurt seeing him chase after her and ulimately being with her.

Women judge me for wishing I was blonde haired blue eyed but look at how society values blonde hair and blue eyed women. Growing up i always saw how everyone saw the blonde girl as the pretty one and who got asked out however the black girls were always made fun of.

I just want to be loved and appreciated

I certainly don't judge you. Your experience is yours, and very real and valid.

Unfortunately being blonde and blue eyed isn't what it's cracked up to be for all of us. I am both, and was relentlessly bullied in school, to the extent of fake Valentine's cards from 'popular' boys, and everyone being invited to parties but me. Even the teachers liked to get in on it, one was particularly cruel and equated my hair to my intellectual abilities because I was struggling in her class. I developed an eating disorder and started to self harm, I desperately wanted to look like anyone else. I was so glad when they eventually just started to treat me as if I didn't exist. Honestly I think a lot of it shaped how I am today. I was never anyone's first choice. Most men don't look at me, those who do fetishize me for looking the way I do, it's not because they desire to know me. A lot of black guys have been overly aggressive, and it's scary honestly. I have been lucky enough to find someone, but when I look in the mirror I genuinely wonder why he's with me. Especially after my previous relationship reinforced all of those feelings from high school. For me, sadly, love can't overcome all the previous trauma.

I'm so sorry you experienced this, there aren't any words for how disgustingly cruel humans can be.

 

[hamvil]

I am really sorry for your experience and by the superficiality of the comments you received. I am 43 and I have felt loneliness all my life but not in the same ways as your. I never really had any friend and at this point I know I will never have one. Yes, I am married but it is quite empty and joyless. I do not divorce just because I know I would never find another woman and I am too scared of losing the last person on this planet that from time to time hugs me. I would like to send you a virtual hug and lot of love. Take care.

 

[FireFox]

Going to be painfully honest with you here. Feminist forums are the absolute last place to seek out empathy for these (very valid) struggles. Modern feminists and their spaces reek of misandry, even amongst those who claim to be happily married. From one woman to another, do not seek company amongst such groups. Third wave feminism is for women what MGTOW and inceldom is for men, a den of sexism and people with 'crabs in a bucket' mentalities. They claim to care about the struggles of women until actual women come forth, then it's just another snake pit.

Everyone needs and deserves love, to yearn for it is not selfish, nor worthy of ridicule, especially from those who are meant to have your back.

@SadJessu The feminist community I previously belonged was a radical feminist gender critical feminism online community the women were mainly from UK, USA, Canada and other countries in Europe. I found the community during the lockdown and these people did help me get through lockdown.

I have met many absolutely amazing compassionate strong women who overcome a lot and do genuinely care about women but at the same time I have met many judgemental narrow minded and absolutely horrible women.

I am now pretty much disillusioned with gender critical feminism and radical feminism. I am still a feminist at heart but I no longer label myself what type of feminist I am. Not all radical feminists and gender critical feminists are hateful individuals but far too many are very hateful and judgemental towards women who think differently to them or have different life experiences. It was horrific to witness and experience especially the mob mentality and other women just being silent.

• On the fourm I saw radical feminists and gender critical feminist women regularly made fun of non binary people including women who identified as non binary and transgender people. The transphobic slurs were never ending.
• Defending repugnant individuals and organisations just because they support the gender critical ideology. The women were mad at a transgender woman trying to shut down kiwifarms and were defending the website and its pedophile owner, the owner of kiwifarms is a self confessed pedophile. Kiwifarms has gotten people killed and ruined lives no one should be supporting kiwifarms. The founder needs to be jail.

So many things wrong with these women. I am very pragmatic when it comes to discussing things I am more focused on solutions that will work to deal with social problems in society and i don't see the world as black and white. I acknowledge people misunderstand because of how I see the world and I am used to this.

This past year on the fourm it was one conflict after another then another and eventually I just got tired of all. I can tolerate criticism of my opinions but I will not tolerate abuse, judgement and pure disrespect. I made it clear that as a hetrosexual woman I don't comment matters relating to the lgbt community this is a practice I have always live

One of the women members is a white lesbian and she was so hostile and practically crucified me. She accused me having an "ego" and "virtual signalling". She explained the argument how are all men are rapists including gay and bisexual men and said its all my "fault" there is a rape culture.

Then other women were joining in with her and nobody was condemning this behaviour.

I have a noticed a pattern of these radical feminist and gender critical women behaviour. Loads of believe the misinformation they see on social media or right wing propaganda others just have pure hatred for other people then are many good descent radical feminist women but they do nothing to condem the toxic behaviour in this movement and enable all this toxic behaviour

 

[SadJessu]

@SadJessu The feminist community I previously belonged was a radical feminist gender critical feminism online community the women were mainly from UK, USA, Canada and other countries in Europe. I found the community during the lockdown and these people did help me get through lockdown.

I have met many absolutely amazing compassionate strong women who overcome a lot and do genuinely care about women but at the same time I have met many judgemental narrow minded and absolutely horrible women.

I am now pretty much disillusioned with gender critical feminism and radical feminism. I am still a feminist at heart but I no longer label myself what type of feminist I am. Not all radical feminists and gender critical feminists are hateful individuals but far too many are very hateful and judgemental towards women who think differently to them or have different life experiences. It was horrific to witness and experience especially the mob mentality and other women just being silent.

• On the fourm I saw radical feminists and gender critical feminist women regularly made fun of non binary people including women who identified as non binary and transgender people. The transphobic slurs were never ending.
• Defending repugnant individuals and organisations just because they support the gender critical ideology. The women were mad at a transgender woman trying to shut down kiwifarms and were defending the website and its pedophile owner, the owner of kiwifarms is a self confessed pedophile. Kiwifarms has gotten people killed and ruined lives no one should be supporting kiwifarms. The founder needs to be jail.

So many things wrong with these women. I am very pragmatic when it comes to discussing things I am more focused on solutions that will work to deal with social problems in society and i don't see the world as black and white. I acknowledge people misunderstand because of how I see the world and I am used to this.

This past year on the fourm it was one conflict after another then another and eventually I just got tired of all. I can tolerate criticism of my opinions but I will not tolerate abuse, judgement and pure disrespect. I made it clear that as a hetrosexual woman I don't comment matters relating to the lgbt community this is a practice I have always live

One of the women members is a white lesbian and she was so hostile and practically crucified me. She accused me having an "ego" and "virtual signalling". She explained the argument how are all men are rapists including gay and bisexual men and said its all my "fault" there is a rape culture.

Then other women were joining in with her and nobody was condemning this behaviour.

I have a noticed a pattern of these radical feminist and gender critical women behaviour. Loads of believe the misinformation they see on social media or right wing propaganda others just have pure hatred for other people then are many good descent radical feminist women but they do nothing to condem the toxic behaviour in this movement and enable all this toxic behaviour

I personally can't identify as feminist due to the fact that as a cis woman in a relationship, I've been pretty much told I'm 'anti-woman' for choosing to be with men. I find it incredibly hypocritical that women exist who claim to be pro-woman, and then desire to devalue other women due to their desire to be with men, or have children. At the same time it's difficult to exist as a woman, as I've experienced sexism in my work (I'm in a traditionally male field), and men online are beyond vicious. I used to prefer friendships amongst men, but these days I'm hyper vigilant and afraid of them, even though I know people are individuals and I reject the 'all men/all women' bs. I often wish I'd been born a man rather than a woman. It can be a sad, lonely world.

Ultimately our experience of the world is uniquely ours, and it's not up to anyone to judge that. No one can fully empathize, as we all experience pain and trauma differently, so judging someone based on these feelings is beyond arrogant.

 

[Girl-shaped Wound]

I understand how you feel, FireFox. I used to be in that place, mostly due to being severely mentally ill. It was an absolute hell to see my friends get into relationships while I could not even leave my house or speak to classmates. I've been in a long-term relationship since, but ended it this year as it was an unhappy one that I've settled on.
I desperately miss true love and being understood and cared for. At the same time, I'm stuck in the loop of being uninterested in most men while feeling not good enough for someone that I would develop feelings for (or even interest in). It seems impossible to me to find someone compatible that I would actually love. I cannot accept a relationship with a person that I am not fascinated with – been there, done that and it does not work whatsoever.
Anyway... I consider myself a feminist too, but I'm critical of all subgroups because each one of them has something I disagree with. It is true that feminist women can be extremely unsympathetic to relationship issues of straight women. I remember running into lesbian/bi women replying with 'that's what you get for being with a man, just be celibate and support women instead' to stories of abusive relationships. Absolutely horrible and not much better than what misogynists would tell a female abuse victim. It was double hurtful since the women often were in happy relationships, and yet they had so little empathy for another women just because she had the 'bad luck' of being heterosexual.

 

[Final-push123]

It always tough when people in relationships dismiss the pain of being single.

Honestly surprised that feminists treated you like, feminists or just people are usually nicer to lonely single women then man.

Either way, not sure what to tell you but try to build a relationship with yourself and give yourself what you need. It worked for me

 

[FireFox]

I certainly don't judge you. Your experience is yours, and very real and valid.

Unfortunately being blonde and blue eyed isn't what it's cracked up to be for all of us. I am both, and was relentlessly bullied in school, to the extent of fake Valentine's cards from 'popular' boys, and everyone being invited to parties but me. Even the teachers liked to get in on it, one was particularly cruel and equated my hair to my intellectual abilities because I was struggling in her class. I developed an eating disorder and started to self harm, I desperately wanted to look like anyone else. I was so glad when they eventually just started to treat me as if I didn't exist. Honestly I think a lot of it shaped how I am today. I was never anyone's first choice. Most men don't look at me, those who do fetishize me for looking the way I do, it's not because they desire to know me. A lot of black guys have been overly aggressive, and it's scary honestly. I have been lucky enough to find someone, but when I look in the mirror I genuinely wonder why he's with me. Especially after my previous relationship reinforced all of those feelings from high school. For me, sadly, love can't overcome all the previous trauma.

I'm so sorry you experienced this, there aren't any words for how disgustingly cruel humans can be.

@SadJessu Awww virtual hug kiss I am so sorry you went through all that, your teacher was such an arsehole. You deserved so much better. I enjoyed university and the world of work more than I ever did with secondary school because it enabled me to start again and forget the awful school years I had. I thrived at university and my job post university. I hate it how older people say "school years are the best" because for some people school years and teenage years were just the worst because of bullying arseholes, weak teachers and school administration that allowed these arseholes to cause havoc, social exclusion and pressure to do well in exams so you can get into your chosen university.

I used to envy girls with blonde hair and blue eyes because they looked so pretty, had boys like them and their features always stood out whereas me having brown eyes, black hair and dark brown eyes I just felt like my features were so plain and boring. As a teenager It's absolutely hurt seeing my crush look at this Engilsh girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, it was so clear he was attracted to her. He did like her all the boys did. She was not even a nice person and actually mean to me.

My crush he had black hair and brown eyes and he was not even white seeing him look at her it hurt because I realised I will never be seen as pretty like her and have boys like you. The bullying I received because of certain aspects of my appearance ie my hair and eyes from the boys, the rejection from guys I liked made me hate my features even more. I genuinely can not see beauty in brown eyes. If brown eyes are beautiful then how come couples wanting to get pregnant pay lots of money to select an eye colour for their unborn baby often opting for the blue or green colour or how come couples specify the sperm or egg donors have blue eyes or green eyes or even the couples that get pregnant naturally how come within families they hope the unborn child inherits the blue eye, people do it because the brown eyes as a colour is not appealing like Blue, green, Hazel or non brown colours generally. Society knows it that is why such technology and practices are tolerated.

I have had white women with blonde hair and blue eyes pretty much judge me whenever I open up about my insecurities. The worst one I received was one white British woman with blonde hair she tells how being pale skinned "comes with issues". She talked about her sunburn marks which she experiences when it is hot. She talked how bad her legs look when it's winter. She even talked about how she extra tan as she doesn't like having pale skin.

Black women have also judged me too they don't believe me when I tell them that black boys always made fun of the black girls appearance. People are always so judgemental towards people who open up about their insecurities regarding body image but nobody questions what the thing, the source of pain that made them like that and have this self loathing.

You're first woman with blonde hair and blue eyes that has not judged me at all.

 

[FireFox]

I understand how you feel, FireFox. I used to be in that place, mostly due to being severely mentally ill. It was an absolute hell to see my friends get into relationships while I could not even leave my house or speak to classmates. I've been in a long-term relationship since, but ended it this year as it was an unhappy one that I've settled on.
I desperately miss true love and being understood and cared for. At the same time, I'm stuck in the loop of being uninterested in most men while feeling not good enough for someone that I would develop feelings for (or even interest in). It seems impossible to me to find someone compatible that I would actually love. I cannot accept a relationship with a person that I am not fascinated with – been there, done that and it does not work whatsoever.
Anyway... I consider myself a feminist too, but I'm critical of all subgroups because each one of them has something I disagree with. It is true that feminist women can be extremely unsympathetic to relationship issues of straight women. I remember running into lesbian/bi women replying with 'that's what you get for being with a man, just be celibate and support women instead' to stories of abusive relationships. Absolutely horrible and not much better than what misogynists would tell a female abuse victim. It was double hurtful since the women often were in happy relationships, and yet they had so little empathy for another women just because she had the 'bad luck' of being heterosexual.

@GirlShapedWound

Feminism is a spectrum which beliefs on women's liberation and human rights can vary. Some feminists prefer a liberal approach then some prefer a pragmatic approach and then there others who advocate for a more radical approach.

Radical feminism is about challenging and ulimately destroying systems and institutions that contribute to women's oppression. There loads of good radical feminists who deeply care for women and want an end to women's oppression however at the same time there many radical feminists who just hateful individuals.

Being in radical feminist circles I have been in I noticed the hateful ones are very judgemental and prejudiced to the point they are incapable of reason, having rational debate and listening to different perspectives from other women.

I have encountered lesbian radical feminists who are very prejudiced towards gay and bisexual man which is very disturbing. I have seen lesbian radical feminists say how gay men are promiscuous and blamed them for the moneypox outbreak. Lesbian women face prejudice in society and to see them behave this way and hateful towards gay men is so disturbing.

• I have encountered radical feminists who hate on other women they do not agree with. I met one white far left progressive radical feminist woman and she called Kamala Harris a "traitor to women" and a "white supremacist". When I pointed out and explained why the woman was wrong to describe Harris in such an offensive matter. The woman kept defending her opinion and none of her arguments made sense.

• Worst of all the racial feminists who are gender critical will happily support corrupt, repugnant individuals and organisations that share their anti trans beliefs. It was so disturbing seeing these women get so angry at the famous Canadian transgender twitch streamer who wants to shut kiwifarms and the women were defending kiwifarms and the owner. Nobody should be supporting kiwifarms.

KiwiFarms members doxxx, swat and harass people they deem to be werid. People have killed themselves and others have been murdered because of this website constant harassment, bullying and doxxing of people.

Doxxing is dangerous and NOBODY deserves to be doxxed that includes the arseholes. If a person has done genuine harm they need to be punished by legal system for their wrong doing and proper channels in place.

The way these radical feminists behave all they doing is driving more women away from feminism. They will blame the patriarchy as the reason why women are not feminists but NEVER their own toxic behaviour within the movement

 

[justtoojaded]

Being a single woman can suck at times, but I personally prefer it over being in a relationship now. I was in 4 long term relationships from ages 13 to 28. Briefly dated when I was 29, but being single at 30 has been very peaceful.

 

[BRAINWORMS]

I am 25 years old and never had a boyfriend. It's so hard seeing women I grew up getting married or moving in with boyfriends as reminder all my life I never had a man love me whereas everyone else found love. As I grow older I finally no longer cope anymore with the pain of the rejection I experienced from men I love. I open up online as I have nobody else to talk to.

I used to be a member of a feminist online community where women can discuss feminism and other topics. On forum in the past I opened up about things like valentines day upsets me because its reminder of how I missed out on everything never having a boyfriend and seeing the love couples give each other. I opened up about my body image issues especially battle with Anoxeria and insecurities.

There is this one woman on the site who has everything, the perfect life and all she has done is judge me honestly it is the worst thing ever. This woman is her early 40s she blonde hair and blue eyes. She is married and has children. I live in the UK and the woman is Canadian.

When I mentioned how valentines day is difficult she patronised me and said the following " as a married woman you are not missing much" then even told me to buy my own flowers and box of chocolates and even preached about how "no woman needs a man". She is the same woman who publicly shamed me over my posts I made about how I feel about having brown eyes, i was criticising my own eyes. She said how I am not "the only one who is a minority". I never met a person who judgemental and she has everything. On the feminist online other women were even making fun of me and mocking me and then other women say how they were wish they were me because of the abusive relationships they had

In the real world when I sometimes open up up majority women tell me I am "lucky" that I am single and "not missing anything at all". Nobody really understands it is so lonely.

I can't cope anymore and it's one of many reasons why I will end my life in my 30s. I feel like I have been single forever.

From one eternally single (a couple failed dates and that's it) 25-year-old woman to another—you are not alone. I wish I had something other than solidarity to offer, but yeah, definitely not alone.

 

[noaccount]

It is legitimately tragic that this is the camp of people who've been able to claim the term "gender critical" for themselves, when what they are doing reinforces, on so many levels, the cis-gendering of children from birth, and the policing of people who step outside of it.

Like this is not what Monique Witting was studying or talking about when she said that effectively "Lesbians Are Not Women" because female bodied people are only made-unto women by social-class-dynamics and lesbianism is one among a number of powerful ways to subvert that. Judith Butler also had a good recent-ish interview about, idk, grieving that there was once a movement of actual freedom that used similar self-definition terms but had very little in common with those currently called "gender critical."

And I mean Harris is a cop and all cops enforce white supremacy, but that's probably different than whatever argument that person was making.

 

[FireFox]

From one eternally single (a couple failed dates and that's it) 25-year-old woman to another—you are not alone. I wish I had something other than solidarity to offer, but yeah, definitely not alone.

@BRAINWORMS Thanks

 

[FireFox]

It is legitimately tragic that this is the camp of people who've been able to claim the term "gender critical" for themselves, when what they are doing reinforces, on so many levels, the cis-gendering of children from birth, and the policing of people who step outside of it.

Like this is not what Monique Witting was studying or talking about when she said that effectively "Lesbians Are Not Women" because female bodied people are only made-unto women by social-class-dynamics and lesbianism is one among a number of powerful ways to subvert that. Judith Butler also had a good recent-ish interview about, idk, grieving that there was once a movement of actual freedom that used similar self-definition terms but had very little in common with those currently called "gender critical."

And I mean Harris is a cop and all cops enforce white supremacy, but that's probably different than whatever argument that person was making.

@noaccount In beginning mixing with these gender critical and radical feminist women was fun, interesting and insightful as we had really interesting open and passionate discussions about a range of issues effecting women society. I genuinely thought I finally found a place where I actually belonged. I did met some really strong amazing women

As time went on I noticed a lot of the women were so angry , the anger was pure anger about how the state of the world, the system and society treated women especially when it came to the debate of trans rights v womens rights however they had absolutely NO practical and pragmatic solutions to deal with existing issues. This is why I ultimately I gradually became disillusioned with radical feminist and gender critical feminist movement all together.

• Regularly the women were always sharing news stories about a violence done by transgender women placed in a women's jails, toliets and domestic violence shelters in the replies majority will express offence saying " keep men out of womens prisons, spaces xyz." The transgender population is growing and its here to stay the gender critical feminists do not want the transgender women in women's prisons and facilities ok fair enough but where exactly are these transgender prisoners going to go same with toliets and other facilities? A transgender woman can not be placed in a male prison it is too dangerous and the individual will be at serious risk of ham same applies with mens toliets. Majority of gender critical women never wanted to acknowledge how can the conflict of transgender woman v women's spaces be resolved they spent more time getting angry at the violence done by transgender women. I did suggest a 3rd way approach where transgender women get their own prison wing and housed with other transgender women only and every city will have one. It is possible to construct it needs to good organising and town planning so resources don't get wasted. Majority never seemed interested in my suggestion or discussing it further. There so many threads from women expressing their anger at having transgender women in women's prisons and other women's facilities but no solutions on how to resolve the conflict.

There many gender critical feminist women have genuine concerns about losing women their spaces and opportunities to men as transgender inclusivity and especially the debate of self identification grows their concerns need to be listened to and this needs to be debated openly in a free democratic society that we are in the western world. At same time there far too many gender critical feminist/radical feminists women that are purely malicious, hateful and just mean women who have pretty much been hostile towards me, spread lies about me and worst of all just the mob mentality just never ended and in the end i had enough. The past months have been the absolute worst it is so scary how a community of people you once loved, admired can turn against you and ultimately treat make you feel like the worst person in the world and even use your insecurities and vulnerabilities against you.

I know it sounds dramatic but the whole thing felt like abuse.

I now no longer believe there is such a thing as women's solidarity. I believe solidarity only and soley exists for women who fit in well and popular if you are outsider like me all we ever get is exclusion from other women. All my life women pretty much excluded me. At school the girls excluded me and some even partpicated in the bullying.

Now I realise I am just too different from most women. I always struggled to belong that's how I know I am too different.

 

[noaccount]

If you're interested at all someone uploaded a full text of feminist scholar Dr Angela Davis's "Are Prisons Obsolete" at https://collectiveliberation.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Are_Prisons_Obsolete_Angela_Davis.pdf

 

[Hollowillow]

YU

I am 25 years old and never had a boyfriend. It's so hard seeing women I grew up getting married or moving in with boyfriends as reminder all my life I never had a man love me whereas everyone else found love. As I grow older I finally no longer cope anymore with the pain of the rejection I experienced from men I love. I open up online as I have nobody else to talk to.

I used to be a member of a feminist online community where women can discuss feminism and other topics. On forum in the past I opened up about things like valentines day upsets me because its reminder of how I missed out on everything never having a boyfriend and seeing the love couples give each other. I opened up about my body image issues especially battle with Anoxeria and insecurities.

There is this one woman on the site who has everything, the perfect life and all she has done is judge me honestly it is the worst thing ever. This woman is her early 40s she blonde hair and blue eyes. She is married and has children. I live in the UK and the woman is Canadian.

When I mentioned how valentines day is difficult she patronised me and said the following " as a married woman you are not missing much" then even told me to buy my own flowers and box of chocolates and even preached about how "no woman needs a man". She is the same woman who publicly shamed me over my posts I made about how I feel about having brown eyes, i was criticising my own eyes. She said how I am not "the only one who is a minority". I never met a person who judgemental and she has everything. On the feminist online other women were even making fun of me and mocking me and then other women say how they were wish they were me because of the abusive relationships they had

In the real world when I sometimes open up up majority women tell me I am "lucky" that I am single and "not missing anything at all". Nobody really understands it is so lonely.

I can't cope anymore and it's one of many reasons why I will end my life in my 30s. I feel like I have been single forever.

Your pain is valid... But so is theirs.

There is an upside & downside to everything. They tried to warn you to be careful what you wish for, because some relationships are crueller than loneliness. The romantic things you think you'd get from a lover... They don't even get it from their husband. Getting beaten instead of cuddled. Not getting flowers but cheated on fir valentine's day. It's natural for a group of feminist to try to empower you into independent self love. I had boyfriends & a fiancé but was never hugged by them. Only soiled with porn demands.

You can go get drunk in a bar and say yes to the first jerk, you can go offer yourself in the incel sub at reddit. You didn't act like a slut & it's a good thing. You can choose a hobby & try to meet people. Like a waltz class, or craft, or walk groups .. dating sites are sadly like a porn catalogue for men. Maybe try speed dating. Being a shy introvert is hard. I'm a nerd... I go to game board nights...

I'm the worst person for dating tips. But I wanted you to know that they truly did envy your freedom. They weren't trying to dismiss your pain... They were warning you about theirs...

I hope that you'll find romantic love, & find a way to put yourself out there. I read many men feeling the same. Go to them & open up?

I gave up hope & really took myself on dates. Best dates I ever had. But I sure feel lonely. But at least I'm not abused.

Self love is the best love. Don't worry about losing weight, try to gain health. The foid high in nutrition aren't fattening. I have decided to first do a journey of self love & try to quit anorexia... Still working on my self esteem. Easier to do without a sexist barcissistic man needing his dick suck on my knees.

Try to get more friends first? To polish social skills? I failed miserably.

I really hope you'll get a lover once, but be careful of codependency & abuse... Desperation atteact the worst. Sometimes having only yourself is better.

Try activities on meetup.com? Express interest in men you like without waiting? Some are so shy or scared to be a creepy guy that they wait for your first move.

Best wishes

Ps Im a 42 years old virgin who's super glad that I wasn't raped in spite of men trying... I only believe in self love

 

[FireFox]

That sounds awful to get treated that way and doesn't sound like a good group to be a part of. Of course you feel pained and lonely. Who wouldn't? What is wrong with that? People don't really understand things unless they've been through it themselves a lot of times. They have just a complete crude lack of empathy. There's nothing wrong with how you feel and anyone saying otherwise doesn't know their head from their ass.

@brokensea The past months have been the absolute worst it is so scary how a community of women you once loved, admired can turn against you and ultimately treat make you feel like the worst person in the world and even use your own insecurities and vulnerabilities against you. In beginning it was fun having interesting and insightful as we had really interesting open and passionate discussions about a range of issues effecting women society and meeting amazing women however as time went I have encountered women just purely malicious, hateful and just vile women and worst of all other women just stayed silent and couldn't even defend me. I was already open about my declining anoxeria and previous experiences of male rejection which made feel life with being born blonde hair and blue eyes would be so much easier as men will finally see me as beautiful and so will society. The moderators don't even say anything as moderation is very relaxed.

I am not perfect, I made mistakes and have taken full responsibility and publicly apologied for comments I made that have caused offence and upset but honestly it was disappointing seeing women band together as a mob and pretty much crucify me acting as judge, jury and executioner and even those I considered as friends pretty much remained silent.

Controversy 1 around June: A malicious member I had an online argument with MONTHS AGO last year she spread lies about me on website. I tried to help another member who was distressed. The member told the woman to ignore my account and then said how I was a racist and then explained how I builled her. Months ago we had massive argument mainly about ageism in lockdown and unfair media coverage of young people breaking rules. I really regret making the comments I made towards her and publicly apologied at the time. She never acknowledged my apology and now brings up an argument that happened Last year winter and now kept spreading lies about me. The evil bitch continued playing victim all because she never got over me calling her Karen and it is clear she is not vaxxed, my criticism over unvaxxed fat people. I regret the comments i made and took full responsibility at the time. She kept lying about me and no one even defended me.

Nobody even defended me other white women even agreed I was a racist. I am black and I was offended. The married mother who keeps judging me led the f *cking online mob.

Controversy 2 July: I questioned why do prospective parents desire their baby to have blue eyes there people in the past and present have requested sperm or egg donors have blue eyes and even in families there parents and grandparents who want their children to inherit the blue eye or green eye. I have dark brown eyes myself and I wish I didn't feel this way but I genuinely can't see the beauty in this eye colour. I was NEVER intending to cause offence.

I then proceed to say people do this behaviour and society tolerates this practice because "brown eyes is not an attractive eye colour." I then explained Blue and green eyes are "visibly appealing to look at whereas brown eyes the pupil and iris together is just plain and boring its looks like entrance to a dark tunnel or pool of mud" and then I said "people who say brown eyes are beautiful is lying" I will be honest I genuinely can not see the beauty in this eye colour this how I feel and I do not want to have this feelings.

I did say I find my brown skin "boring" compared to the white woman with blonde hair and blue eyes. Years of men humiliating, rejecting, ignoring and picking white women over me made hate my body I was born with.

Then it took one very popular member who is also person of colour woman who has black hair and brown eyes herself complained publicly , yes she was having a major breakdown about how needs take a social media break because of my comments and i harmed her mental wellbeing. The online community website allows you to block comments you don't like from other people. She had this option and chose not to use it. . The majority sympathised with her and then came the public crucifixion and condemnation. The women on the fourm pretty much said how I am a horrible person.

Then it gets worse the married woman who constantly judges me in the replies said how I am "not the only one who is a minority" and how "all irises are beautiful"
I publicly apologied to the woman of colour which she did accept and explained how my own life experiences of male rejection especially the bullying at school including racist bullying made me hate the features i have. It's was disappointing seeing the judgmental replies and pure contempt women had for me they saw me as a freak it absolutely hurt being called a "werido" from one woman. The replies really broke me I felt the most hated person ever.

Controversy 3 a month later : A member who I really respected, saw as a friend and generally had great fun with she turned on me it was the worst. I just said as a hetrosexual woman I don't "comment on matters relating to the lgbt community" this how i always lived. The woman is a lesbian and she blamed me for "the rape culture" and then explained how "gay and bisexual men are all rapists." She accused me of having a "egotistical", "being woke" and then other women just kept quiet and then others agreed with her and joined in. The pure anger she had was off the scale.

Controversy 4: Then that same day another woman who is just a bully and was constantly making fun of me when she stumbled across one of my threads about my anxieties of turning 25 and seeing women I grew up getting married. She kept making jokes and telling everyone how I was troll. I just told her f*ck off and go to hell.

I finally had enough . I am not perfect and made mistakes. I have taken responsibility for my actions but my god women on that fourm said FAR WORSE than me and never get crucified by the online mob. I have seen women on that site make fun of transgender people experiencing hate crimes, be so judgemental and vicious towards women who don't even deserve it all because they think different.

YU

Your pain is valid... But so is theirs.

There is an upside & downside to everything. They tried to warn you to be careful what you wish for, because some relationships are crueller than loneliness. The romantic things you think you'd get from a lover... They don't even get it from their husband. Getting beaten instead of cuddled. Not getting flowers but cheated on fir valentine's day. It's natural for a group of feminist to try to empower you into independent self love. I had boyfriends & a fiancé but was never hugged by them. Only soiled with porn demands.

You can go get drunk in a bar and say yes to the first jerk, you can go offer yourself in the incel sub at reddit. You didn't act like a slut & it's a good thing. You can choose a hobby & try to meet people. Like a waltz class, or craft, or walk groups .. dating sites are sadly like a porn catalogue for men. Maybe try speed dating. Being a shy introvert is hard. I'm a nerd... I go to game board nights...

I'm the worst person for dating tips. But I wanted you to know that they truly did envy your freedom. They weren't trying to dismiss your pain... They were warning you about theirs...

I hope that you'll find romantic love, & find a way to put yourself out there. I read many men feeling the same. Go to them & open up?

I gave up hope & really took myself on dates. Best dates I ever had. But I sure feel lonely. But at least I'm not abused.

Self love is the best love. Don't worry about losing weight, try to gain health. The foid high in nutrition aren't fattening. I have decided to first do a journey of self love & try to quit anorexia... Still working on my self esteem. Easier to do without a sexist barcissistic man needing his dick suck on my knees.

Try to get more friends first? To polish social skills? I failed miserably.

I really hope you'll get a lover once, but be careful of codependency & abuse... Desperation atteact the worst. Sometimes having only yourself is better.

Try activities on meetup.com? Express interest in men you like without waiting? Some are so shy or scared to be a creepy guy that they wait for your first move.

Best wishes

Ps Im a 42 years old virgin who's super glad that I wasn't raped in spite of men trying... I only believe in self love

@Hollowillow

I was friends with one amazing woman on the site and experienced domestic violence and did say I was "lucky" to have gone through my teenage years and early 20s never having a relationship. The rest of the women on the site was just purely judgemental, hostile and pretty much publicly crucified me this year it has been the worst tne never ending mob mentality. I was already open about my declining anoxeria and previous experiences of male rejection which made feel life with being born blonde hair and blue eyes would be so much easier as men will finally see me as beautiful and so will society. I did contribute to many other feminist debates. I regularly spoke out against pornography, sex work and the injustices in the legal system in dealing with violence against women. I talked about lot of things as passionate about world issues and politics.

The past couple of months have been absolute nightmare in having a community you once thought you belonged in turn against you. The thing has now made me believe women as a group love bullying and judging other women . Women's solidarity only exists for women who fit in and popular within a community outsiders like me we are not wanted and will always be treated badly. The girls at school builled me and excluded me, my own friends who were girls always said mean things when I was not around.

In adulthood I now realise I am too different from most women.

I am not perfect, I made mistakes and have taken full responsibility and publicly apologied for comments I made that have caused offence and upset but honestly it was disappointing seeing women band together as a mob and pretty much crucify me acting as judge, jury and executioner and even those I considered as friends pretty much remained silent.

Controversy 1 around June: A malicious member I had an online argument with MONTHS AGO last year she spread lies about me on website. I tried to help another member who was distressed. The member told the woman to ignore my account and then said how I was a racist and then explained how I builled her. Months ago we had massive argument mainly about ageism in lockdown and unfair media coverage of young people breaking rules. I really regret making the comments I made towards her and publicly apologied at the time. She never acknowledged my apology and now brings up an argument that happened Last year winter and now kept spreading lies about me. The evil bitch continued playing victim all because she never got over me calling her Karen and it is clear she is not vaxxed, my criticism over unvaxxed fat people. I regret the comments i made and took full responsibility at the time. She kept lying about me and no one even defended me.

Nobody even defended me other white women even agreed I was a racist. I am black and I was offended. The married mother who keeps judging me led the f *cking online mob.

Controversy 2 July: I questioned why do prospective parents desire their baby to have blue eyes there people in the past and present have requested sperm or egg donors have blue eyes and even in families there parents and grandparents who want their children to inherit the blue eye or green eye. I have dark brown eyes myself and I wish I didn't feel this way but I genuinely can't see the beauty in this eye colour. I was NEVER intending to cause offence.

I then proceed to say people do this behaviour and society tolerates this practice because "brown eyes is not an attractive eye colour." I then explained Blue and green eyes are "visibly appealing to look at whereas brown eyes the pupil and iris together is just plain and boring its looks like entrance to a dark tunnel or pool of mud" and then I said "people who say brown eyes are beautiful is lying" I will be honest I genuinely can not see the beauty in this eye colour this how I feel and I do not want to have this feelings.

I did say I find my brown skin "boring" compared to the white woman with blonde hair and blue eyes. Years of men humiliating, rejecting, ignoring and picking white women over me made hate my body I was born with.

Then it took one very popular member who is also person of colour woman who has black hair and brown eyes herself complained publicly , yes she was having a major breakdown about how needs take a social media break because of my comments and i harmed her mental wellbeing. The online community website allows you to block comments you don't like from other people. She had this option and chose not to use it. . The majority sympathised with her and then came the public crucifixion and condemnation. The women on the fourm pretty much said how I am a horrible person.

Then it gets worse the married woman who constantly judges me in the replies said how I am "not the only one who is a minority" and how "all irises are beautiful"
I publicly apologied to the woman of colour which she did accept and explained how my own life experiences of male rejection especially the bullying at school including racist bullying made me hate the features i have. It's was disappointing seeing the judgmental replies and pure contempt women had for me they saw me as a freak it absolutely hurt being called a "werido" from one woman. The replies really broke me I felt the most hated person ever.

Controversy 3 a month later : A member who I really respected, saw as a friend and generally had great fun with she turned on me it was the worst. I just said as a hetrosexual woman I don't "comment on matters relating to the lgbt community" this how i always lived. The woman is a lesbian and she blamed me for "the rape culture" and then explained how "gay and bisexual men are all rapists." She accused me of having a "egotistical", "being woke" and then other women just kept quiet and then others agreed with her and joined in. The pure anger she had was off the scale.

Controversy 4: Then that same day another woman who is just a bully and was constantly making fun of me when she stumbled across one of my threads about my anxieties of turning 25 and seeing women I grew up getting married. She kept making jokes and telling everyone how I was troll. I just told her f*ck off and go to hell.

I finally had enough . I am not perfect and made mistakes. I have taken responsibility for my actions but my god women on that fourm said FAR WORSE than me and never get crucified by the online mob. I have seen women on that site make fun of transgender people experiencing hate crimes, be so judgemental and vicious towards women who don't even deserve it all because they think different.

 

[brokensea]

@brokensea The past months have been the absolute worst it is so scary how a community of women you once loved, admired can turn against you and ultimately treat make you feel like the worst person in the world and even use your own insecurities and vulnerabilities against you. In beginning it was fun having interesting and insightful as we had really interesting open and passionate discussions about a range of issues effecting women society and meeting amazing women however as time went I have encountered women just purely malicious, hateful and just vile women and worst of all other women just stayed silent and couldn't even defend me. I was already open about my declining anoxeria and previous experiences of male rejection which made feel life with being born blonde hair and blue eyes would be so much easier as men will finally see me as beautiful and so will society. The moderators don't even say anything as moderation is very relaxed.

I am not perfect, I made mistakes and have taken full responsibility and publicly apologied for comments I made that have caused offence and upset but honestly it was disappointing seeing women band together as a mob and pretty much crucify me acting as judge, jury and executioner and even those I considered as friends pretty much remained silent.

Controversy 1 around June: A malicious member I had an online argument with MONTHS AGO last year she spread lies about me on website. I tried to help another member who was distressed. The member told the woman to ignore my account and then said how I was a racist and then explained how I builled her. Months ago we had massive argument mainly about ageism in lockdown and unfair media coverage of young people breaking rules. I really regret making the comments I made towards her and publicly apologied at the time. She never acknowledged my apology and now brings up an argument that happened Last year winter and now kept spreading lies about me. The evil bitch continued playing victim all because she never got over me calling her Karen and it is clear she is not vaxxed, my criticism over unvaxxed fat people. I regret the comments i made and took full responsibility at the time. She kept lying about me and no one even defended me.

Nobody even defended me other white women even agreed I was a racist. I am black and I was offended. The married mother who keeps judging me led the f *cking online mob.

Controversy 2 July: I questioned why do prospective parents desire their baby to have blue eyes there people in the past and present have requested sperm or egg donors have blue eyes and even in families there parents and grandparents who want their children to inherit the blue eye or green eye. I have dark brown eyes myself and I wish I didn't feel this way but I genuinely can't see the beauty in this eye colour. I was NEVER intending to cause offence.

I then proceed to say people do this behaviour and society tolerates this practice because "brown eyes is not an attractive eye colour." I then explained Blue and green eyes are "visibly appealing to look at whereas brown eyes the pupil and iris together is just plain and boring its looks like entrance to a dark tunnel or pool of mud" and then I said "people who say brown eyes are beautiful is lying" I will be honest I genuinely can not see the beauty in this eye colour this how I feel and I do not want to have this feelings.

I did say I find my brown skin "boring" compared to the white woman with blonde hair and blue eyes. Years of men humiliating, rejecting, ignoring and picking white women over me made hate my body I was born with.

Then it took one very popular member who is also person of colour woman who has black hair and brown eyes herself complained publicly , yes she was having a major breakdown about how needs take a social media break because of my comments and i harmed her mental wellbeing. The online community website allows you to block comments you don't like from other people. She had this option and chose not to use it. . The majority sympathised with her and then came the public crucifixion and condemnation. The women on the fourm pretty much said how I am a horrible person.

Then it gets worse the married woman who constantly judges me in the replies said how I am "not the only one who is a minority" and how "all irises are beautiful"
I publicly apologied to the woman of colour which she did accept and explained how my own life experiences of male rejection especially the bullying at school including racist bullying made me hate the features i have. It's was disappointing seeing the judgmental replies and pure contempt women had for me they saw me as a freak it absolutely hurt being called a "werido" from one woman. The replies really broke me I felt the most hated person ever.

Controversy 3 a month later : A member who I really respected, saw as a friend and generally had great fun with she turned on me it was the worst. I just said as a hetrosexual woman I don't "comment on matters relating to the lgbt community" this how i always lived. The woman is a lesbian and she blamed me for "the rape culture" and then explained how "gay and bisexual men are all rapists." She accused me of having a "egotistical", "being woke" and then other women just kept quiet and then others agreed with her and joined in. The pure anger she had was off the scale.

Controversy 4: Then that same day another woman who is just a bully and was constantly making fun of me when she stumbled across one of my threads about my anxieties of turning 25 and seeing women I grew up getting married. She kept making jokes and telling everyone how I was troll. I just told her f*ck off and go to hell.

I finally had enough . I am not perfect and made mistakes. I have taken responsibility for my actions but my god women on that fourm said FAR WORSE than me and never get crucified by the online mob. I have seen women on that site make fun of transgender people experiencing hate crimes, be so judgemental and vicious towards women who don't even deserve it all because they think different.

@Hollowillow

I was friends with one amazing woman on the site and experienced domestic violence and did say I was "lucky" to have gone through my teenage years and early 20s never having a relationship. The rest of the women on the site was just purely judgemental, hostile and pretty much publicly crucified me this year it has been the worst tne never ending mob mentality. I was already open about my declining anoxeria and previous experiences of male rejection which made feel life with being born blonde hair and blue eyes would be so much easier as men will finally see me as beautiful and so will society. I did contribute to many other feminist debates. I regularly spoke out against pornography, sex work and the injustices in the legal system in dealing with violence against women. I talked about lot of things as passionate about world issues and politics.

The past couple of months have been absolute nightmare in having a community you once thought you belonged in turn against you. The thing has now made me believe women as a group love bullying and judging other women . Women's solidarity only exists for women who fit in and popular within a community outsiders like me we are not wanted and will always be treated badly. The girls at school builled me and excluded me, my own friends who were girls always said mean things when I was not around.

In adulthood I now realise I am too different from most women.

I am not perfect, I made mistakes and have taken full responsibility and publicly apologied for comments I made that have caused offence and upset but honestly it was disappointing seeing women band together as a mob and pretty much crucify me acting as judge, jury and executioner and even those I considered as friends pretty much remained silent.

Controversy 1 around June: A malicious member I had an online argument with MONTHS AGO last year she spread lies about me on website. I tried to help another member who was distressed. The member told the woman to ignore my account and then said how I was a racist and then explained how I builled her. Months ago we had massive argument mainly about ageism in lockdown and unfair media coverage of young people breaking rules. I really regret making the comments I made towards her and publicly apologied at the time. She never acknowledged my apology and now brings up an argument that happened Last year winter and now kept spreading lies about me. The evil bitch continued playing victim all because she never got over me calling her Karen and it is clear she is not vaxxed, my criticism over unvaxxed fat people. I regret the comments i made and took full responsibility at the time. She kept lying about me and no one even defended me.

Nobody even defended me other white women even agreed I was a racist. I am black and I was offended. The married mother who keeps judging me led the f *cking online mob.

Controversy 2 July: I questioned why do prospective parents desire their baby to have blue eyes there people in the past and present have requested sperm or egg donors have blue eyes and even in families there parents and grandparents who want their children to inherit the blue eye or green eye. I have dark brown eyes myself and I wish I didn't feel this way but I genuinely can't see the beauty in this eye colour. I was NEVER intending to cause offence.

I then proceed to say people do this behaviour and society tolerates this practice because "brown eyes is not an attractive eye colour." I then explained Blue and green eyes are "visibly appealing to look at whereas brown eyes the pupil and iris together is just plain and boring its looks like entrance to a dark tunnel or pool of mud" and then I said "people who say brown eyes are beautiful is lying" I will be honest I genuinely can not see the beauty in this eye colour this how I feel and I do not want to have this feelings.

I did say I find my brown skin "boring" compared to the white woman with blonde hair and blue eyes. Years of men humiliating, rejecting, ignoring and picking white women over me made hate my body I was born with.

Then it took one very popular member who is also person of colour woman who has black hair and brown eyes herself complained publicly , yes she was having a major breakdown about how needs take a social media break because of my comments and i harmed her mental wellbeing. The online community website allows you to block comments you don't like from other people. She had this option and chose not to use it. . The majority sympathised with her and then came the public crucifixion and condemnation. The women on the fourm pretty much said how I am a horrible person.

Then it gets worse the married woman who constantly judges me in the replies said how I am "not the only one who is a minority" and how "all irises are beautiful"
I publicly apologied to the woman of colour which she did accept and explained how my own life experiences of male rejection especially the bullying at school including racist bullying made me hate the features i have. It's was disappointing seeing the judgmental replies and pure contempt women had for me they saw me as a freak it absolutely hurt being called a "werido" from one woman. The replies really broke me I felt the most hated person ever.

Controversy 3 a month later : A member who I really respected, saw as a friend and generally had great fun with she turned on me it was the worst. I just said as a hetrosexual woman I don't "comment on matters relating to the lgbt community" this how i always lived. The woman is a lesbian and she blamed me for "the rape culture" and then explained how "gay and bisexual men are all rapists." She accused me of having a "egotistical", "being woke" and then other women just kept quiet and then others agreed with her and joined in. The pure anger she had was off the scale.

Controversy 4: Then that same day another woman who is just a bully and was constantly making fun of me when she stumbled across one of my threads about my anxieties of turning 25 and seeing women I grew up getting married. She kept making jokes and telling everyone how I was troll. I just told her f*ck off and go to hell.

I finally had enough . I am not perfect and made mistakes. I have taken responsibility for my actions but my god women on that fourm said FAR WORSE than me and never get crucified by the online mob. I have seen women on that site make fun of transgender people experiencing hate crimes, be so judgemental and vicious towards women who don't even deserve it all because they think different.

It sounds like there were a lot of feelings about yourself behind what you said and I don't think the people in the group dug deeper and it's easy to go on the attack online.

It's hard when you have a community and think you have found friends and then things go south. Sometimes it's better to find a smaller place of supportive people who can be understanding.

I don't find dark skin or eyes unattractive. Sometimes the majority decides what is beautiful based on just numbers of alike people, media, culture it's just a form of brainwashing and meaninglessness that is hard to look out of.

Brown eyes always remind me of beautiful forests, the earth, and warmth. I'm imaginative so look at the world maybe in an usual way lol.

I also think brown/black skin is really pretty. I have one black friend in particular (I have a several) and to me she could be overweight by maybe some weird standard but her hair and makeup is so nice she just looks so pretty like a model and always so put together. I really envy her and am in a bit awe of her and how pretty she is.

I am white and have brown hair and blue eyes naturally.

So idk the way I look at it is people who think some things are ugly about someone and their race well I just think they're wrong and brainwashed by the media and can't see outside of a bunch of meaningless bullshit.

I don't have to deal with the things you do so it's not easy to feel that way but I have early on just decided to see the world the way I would naturally see it if I had no outside influences. To me that's the real world.

I'm sorry you feel so bad about yourself and I'm sure you've been through a lot and more than I can ever know but any person worth being around or having in your life will truly see how beautiful you are. Even if there's crappy people who don't - they're just that, crappy people who's opinion is absolutely worthless.

 

[Muerte negra]

Yo te amaría con fuerza!!! Asta que los dos cometieran suicidio, una forma hermosa de partir, ... Tengo tanto amor para dar , y no puedo encontrar a la mujer correcta, estoy tan solo !!!

abrazos