When you think about it what do we really have to loose?

[tpboy]

I know that SI is real. At the same time from a logical standpoint for those of us who are in pure misery. It really is a logical decision to put a end to the pain and suffering that there is no way out of.

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

i think it's the lost potential for a happy life
opportunity cost of being depressed, thinking i could have enjoyed my life all these years while i was depressed
and I took everything for granted
i did not know what i had when i had it
and now i've lost everything, after I found out I can never get back what I once had

 

[chestnut]

The potential to lose a healthy body to being brain/organ damaged and unable to CTB again.

That's why I plan so much. I dont want to lose that, just CTB and be done.

 

[tpboy]

i think it's the lost potential for a happy life
opportunity cost of being depressed, thinking i could have enjoyed my life all these years while i was depressed
and I took everything for granted
i did not know what i had when i had it
and now i've lost everything, after I found out I can never get back what I once had

That shit sucks and im in the same place. I have just had to come to the reality of the situation. That shit is gone. Its not coming back and for my future things are only going to get worse.

 

[BlackEyedDog]

i'm a pretty logical person but SI is builtin, so it's hard.

 

[tpboy]

i get it. Just saying for those of us who every second is a living hell on earth......

 

[lizzywizzy09]

If the potential for being happy or even just having a normal life were there, I wouldn't want to ctb. I tried to make the most of my situation but it's only getting worse.
Nothing I can do now but die.

 

[Blue Elephant]

Listening to or experiencing beautiful stories (from certain games, books and TV series) and music. Being in the forest (surrounded by life and breathing clean air) and being on the beach (listening to the waves crashing and looking at the blue sky while the seagles soar above). That would be if only we were allowed to experience them.

 

[rozeske]

Only regret over not having done it earlier.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

From a pure logic and neutral point of view we lose nothing. Whatever we are able to achieve during our life time until the day of our natural death - we can't take anything of that with us to the other side - whether there is an afterlife or not.

I recall how I felt a year ago when I was very suicidal and I had thoughts about what I could miss out on my life. That was one of the things that stopped me from just lighting the charcoal and sealing my bathroom. Actually there was and there is nothing to miss out - nothing changed for me. It's SI that tells us that life is good even if we are in unbearable agony whether mentally or physically.

In death we lose nothing but our life and by nature all living beings are coded to survive at any costs - That's the problem.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

From a pure logic and neutral point of view we lose nothing. Whatever we are able to achieve during our life time until the day of our natural death - we can't take anything of that with us to the other side - whether there is an afterlife or not.

I recall how I felt a year ago when I was very suicidal and I had thoughts about what I could miss out on my life. That was one of the things that stopped me from just lighting the charcoal and sealing my bathroom. Actually there was and there is nothing to miss out - nothing changed for me. It's SI that tells us that life is good even if we are in unbearable agony whether mentally or physically.

In death we lose nothing but our life and by nature all living beings are coded to survive at any costs - That's the problem.

We are coded to die as well, I hate the SI instinct with a passion. Bodies reject fetuses all the time, biology doesn't actually care about life, it's just a bullshit evolutionary wiring that makes it soooo hard to just get the thing we're programmed to do eventually anyway over and done with. I hate this. It's like you said, it doesn't get better, we're just trying to justify going on but it doesn't improve.

 

[tpboy]

I think about it a little like those poor people who committed suicide jumping from the world trade center on 9/11. I'm sure they all have si and most likely never even thought of killing themselves the day before.

However when confronted with being burned to death or jumping they choose to make the decision to jump and end their lives in what they considered to be a better means. Ironically no one condemned them for making that choice, everyone understood. They will come down on us from all directions after we choose to die.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

We are coded to die as well, I hate the SI instinct with a passion.

I think that if we really die naturally SI isn't a big issue that interferes as it does in a CTB attempt or in unnatural death situations. This would be counterproductive from a natural point of view if natural death was painful - everything is gonna die one day, even the universe.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

I think that if we really die naturally SI isn't a big issue that interferes as it does in a CTB attempt or in unnatural death situations. This would be counterproductive from a natural point of view if natural death was painful - everything is gonna die one day, even the universe.

Yes. For me, it can't happen quickly enough.

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

I have just had to come to the reality of the situation. That shit is gone. Its not coming back and for my future things are only going to get worse.

coming to terms with reality is more difficult than i thought
i keep deluding myself in thinking that things CAN get better, fully knowing that even in the mere chance if that is possible, I will never mentally recover from what I have been going through in the last couple of weeks.

 

[tpboy]

coming to terms with reality is more difficult than i thought
i keep deluding myself in thinking that things CAN get better, fully knowing that even in the mere chance if that is possible, I will never mentally recover from what I have been going through in the last couple of weeks.

I'm no pro-lifer. I believe in having choices. However, I think that if someone has a small chance that things can get better they should not ctb. I have been told by many medical doctors that i will never ever get better, only worse. Does that suck? Goddam right, but that is just my reality. Couple that with the person i love the most has just a short time left to live due to dementia.

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

I'm no pro-lifer. I believe in having choices. However, I think that if someone has a small chance that things can get better they should not ctb.

I agree with you.
Sadly, that is not the case for me anymore.
I had all my chances, but continued to ruin everything for myself
and now trying to/forced to do damage control, knowing fully well that it is (both physically and mentally) impossible to ever solve or fix
and by "solving/fixing" I mean living the way I want(ed) to live

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think the weird part about it is how final it is. Obviously, that depends on what you believe. I suppose if there is an afterlife, there would be the potential to regret. Especially if it's worse- punishment or something. But if there isn't, it it's nothing after this, it's like @Praestat_Mori said- everything for us dissolves in that instance. Even if we had an incredible life, one second we'll be here, the next we won't. We won't be able to regret or mourn our wasted potential. It's a peaceful but weird thought.

So- I agree. It's like- what would I be throwing away exactly? My timeline would end. My awareness of myself would end (hopefully.) If I made that decision to CTB, it would be because life truly wasn't worth it by that point. I wouldn't be able to regret my decision.

 

[FuneralCry]

If my existence finally ended I would have lost the ability to suffer in an existence so meaningless and undesirable and I would have prevented potentially decades of being burdened with something so torturous and futile as human existence.

To me suicide is something so positive as it's suffering prevention, there are no disadvantages to not existing after all which is the fate we are destined for anyway, suicide is all that feels logical to me personally as I have no interest in suffering for decades just to be tormented by old age dying slowly and painfully.

There's no benefit or point to existence, I see existence itself as being the true problem that only ceasing to exist can solve and bring peace from, death truly is the only comfort to me, I wish I never existed more than anything.

 

[Blue Elephant]

Notice: In this post I will refer to "losing" as losing opportunities, not things I supposedly gained or might gain in the future. That would be a different discussion.

Hmm .. I think @Praestat_Mori makes a good point but I wonder if it's only the survival instinct that makes us think like that. I wonder .. maybe it's also our conditioning: "Life is precious!". Human life anyway, fuck those animals and plants!

And maybe it's the poison gifts as well. Are all those "good" things really good?

What if we use logic instead of instinct? What if we look at it the other way around? What if what I lose are not beautiful stories and clean air and beautiful skies, what if what I lose is the system trying to use me and the humans tormenting me? Yeah, I think that's what I lose.

Oh I can't wait to swing on that beautiful piece of rope that I have in my closet!

 

[martinso67]

i'm a pretty logical person but SI is builtin, so it's hard.

I don't have a problem with SI. I am afraid and over thinking how to CTB with (in my opinion) methods that are not fully safe and easy like N.

The helium methods and hanging can be realized in my case. But they trigger my anxiety of failure. I also failed partial hanging because the rope was not fixed good enough.
My anxiety that comes and goes, is affecting the procedure to CTB with the restricted available methods like mentioned above. Also I do have to search a doctor that prescribes me medication against anxiety and to sleep better at night.
It's hard to find a psychologist I can trust. He also would a little bit improve my quality of life, but also inderectly help me to fasten the process of achieving my last goal and dream which is to CTB.
I am so depressed that I cannot at least fulfill this basic need. For God's sake that's my own body. I love my body. I don't want it to suffer much more with my chronic disease and die a "natural" cruel death to strong pain caused by worse diseases. Disease I would get for sure when my health gets worse. My kind soul (I am a kind person) but it does not deserve this. I would not allow this also to my enemy.

 

[LaughingGoat]

I agree and regarding the idea of FOMO of potential life, I put it in the perspective of time itself. Whatever 70-90 years of your life compared to the prior 300,000 or so years of humans and the rest of time makes the idea of FOMO inconsequential.