When was the last time you self harmed?

[hermestrimegistus]

Question is self explanatory. What I'm more curious about is how did you stop? And for how long? What was your motivation? If you don't count binge drinking, it's been more than a couple of years for me. The only exception being last august I sort of smacked myself with some piece of furniture until I bruised my thigh. But that was more of a sexual nature and involved being instructed by somebody else lol. But I digress

 

[AnonymousRobin]

I get long times without and then relapse, I slit my wrists yesterday in an attempt but didn't work (obviously) before that it had been a year. I either lose energy or convince myself not to, but I still hit my head, headbutt a wall or do some sort of chemical to hurt myself as scars are quite obvious, especially if working with rolled sleeves or scrubs which are short a lot of the time

 

[SleepySept]

I cut in my usual spot the other day to spill some blood on a suicide journal I was writing for my partner (unfortunately the journal opened on that page when I was at an appointment and my brother noticed it while in my room. Well at least it made me realize it was probably early stage psychosis for me)

Ironically I don't often cut because seeing blood makes me light-headed, despite hurting myself not being an issue. I also hit my head and I think that works better. I only sh at desperate moments, and not daily since it would start feeling dull.

 

[k1w1]

I last self harmed when I saw Hermes Trismegistus being used as a moniker on this site.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

I last self harmed when I saw Hermes Trismegistus being used as a moniker on this site.

Lol wtf dude. What is your problem

 

[Sylveon]

16 hours ago-

 

[k1w1]

Lol wtf dude. What is your problem

No offence meant, it was a lighthearted take on using a rarely known personage's name.
It is just the sort of bombastic gesture I'm known for myself (there are a few old email addresses of mine that use Crowley in them).
Are you interested in Hermeticism or is it just for a good laugh?
May you be Thrice majestic & your troubles light.

 

[Bad-luck]

I just did it today. Basically almost every day

 

[hermestrimegistus]

No offence meant, it was a lighthearted take on using a rarely known personage's name.
It is just the sort of bombastic gesture I'm known for myself (there are a few old email addresses of mine that use Crowley in them).
Are you interested in Hermeticism or is it just for a good laugh?
May you be Thrice majestic & your troubles light.

Oh okay haha. I'm sorry for jumping down your throat. I am interested in hermeticism in a purely amateur-ish fashion. I do find it highly fascinating though. I like Crowley a bit. Though when I was a young rebellious little shit I was more into the showmanship of LaVey. As far as hermeticism and alchemy, always thought John Dee was a very interesting figure. Especially everything that went down with his wife. Ditto

 

[Jinxyxx]

I did it few days ago but im actually doing it pretty rarely now. There was a period in my life when i was doing it all the time. Once a day AT LEAST. Then i stopped for some time because of 2 reasons:
1) I hurt my nerve from doing it too much. I hurt it years ago and it still didnt heal so im pretty sure it never will. Its very painful at times and it limits me so im scared i might hurt it even more.
2) There was a person who would punish me pretty badly when theyd see my scars. I was so scared of the punishment that i was legit resisting the urge to do it for a really long time.
Now the urge i had is weaker than before but i still sh here and there. Maybe lately im doing it even more often because im going through some shitty times. But this is still nothing when compared to how it looked like before.

 

[hi-okbye]

last time was a few months ago. it was just a random impulsive act. last time i did it consecutively was probably almost a year ago now. i stopped because people were starting to notice and get worried for me. after i stopped about every 2.5 months i would do it again, slowly that stopped too.

 

[sadidiot0328]

10 months ago. I'll probably relapse soon though.

 

[DyingToDie123]

I don't keep track anymore. A week or two maybe? I stopped in prep to go to my parents' house.

When I was a teen I was addicted and couldn't go a day without. Eventually that faded, I don't really remember how, time I guess and other unhealthy coping mechanisms that worked better while my endorphin tolerance built up. Now I feel like I do it because I want to, not because I have to.

 

[ceriseange♡]

I think it's been like 2-3 weeks? I've away from home so I don't have access to what I would normally use and am away from the stressors that often trigger the urge to (though if I had sth here ngl I would've probably done it a few times now)

 

[Viranamari]

I did it a week ago I believe. I try my best not to self- harm as I cut myself which leaves a rather permanent and deep scar on my forearms which is quite clear to anyone that I self- harm. I think that is the only thing that prevents me from doing it and I still do it every now and then

 

[waRmblanket]

it's been weeks if not, a month. i used to sh a lot more, and even more when i was working. i've quit my job and have been doing slightly better. would like to think, if not hope, i wont continue.

 

[vanilladust]

This morning. There goes being 5 years clean.

 

[Duality]

I stopped several years ago, during high school when I got caught. The slew of hospital stays and constant attention my friends, teachers, family, etc. put on me was enough. I didn't want anyone to know further what my CTB plans were at the time, unfortunately that wasn't successful either - someone was a bit too astute and found me unconscious.

I wasn't smart about where I cut either, so there's that. I'm certain that if I were a little bit more discrete, I wouldn't be alive right now.

 

[k1w1]

Oh okay haha. I'm sorry for jumping down your throat. I am interested in hermeticism in a purely amateur-ish fashion. I do find it highly fascinating though. I like Crowley a bit. Though when I was a young rebellious little shit I was more into the showmanship of LaVey. As far as hermeticism and alchemy, always thought John Dee was a very interesting figure. Especially everything that went down with his wife. Ditto

John Dee is great! Some illustrious authors from that community have been pushing out biographies & examinations for a decade or two now. I see what theyre driving at but it is not my bag.
You see like a decent person, how the hell did you end up on a site like this..old age, illness?
If I may ask of course.

 

[NeedAnEscape]

Almost at 4 years. Truth is, I have not recovered in any way. The reaction from my family was so adverse that it scared me out of self-harm. I felt so guilty, seeing the looks of disappointment and pain on their faces. But, I still suffer with urges constantly. Therapy didn't help. I suppose I have self-harmed in some other ways, through scratching and not taking care of myself. But, I have refrained from cutting. God, just thinking about their reactions makes me want to end my life right now. I hate reliving that day.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

John Dee is great! Some illustrious authors from that community have been pushing out biographies & examinations for a decade or two now. I see what theyre driving at but it is not my bag.
You see like a decent person, how the hell did you end up on a site like this..old age, illness?
If I may ask of course.

Thank you. I really appreciate that. How did I end up on this site? Trauma/ptsd, mostly. I'm a bit emotionally and mentally stunted by it. With an inabilty to move on and start my life again. Also I'm kind of an alcoholic haha. A lot of reasons

 

[downfall13]

15 minutes agoXD

 

[victoria91]

2 days ago. I cut myself with a knife. Normally in my wrists/arms and legs but I have a lot of scars so I need to use somewhere new

 

[pawlessz]

some weeks ago i tried cutting my wrist first time and it sucked i didnt understand point of this, it doesnt help

 

[BLEH:3]

I was self-harm free for a month or 3-4 until like a few days ago, back at square one

 

[sancsuinet]

not since febuary when my flatmates moved in. they dont know it but they keep me accountable. i wouldnt want to put that on them. our walls are thin and theres 4 of us.

 

[justcallmeJ]

3 minutes ago, sh gives me an energy boost afterwards. Time to actually begin my day at 3 pm.

 

[iloveeetreeeess1]

A few days ago, ik it sounds weird but multiple times SH saved me from doing worse things, so in a weird way I am grateful for the outlet it can provide SOMETIMES.

 

[DoomValuer]

Around a week ago