When to ask for help

[schizoidoll]

It has been really bad these past weeks and I've tried being honest with my healthcare team. I told them about the pills I had been saving, but I feel like I haven't been taken seriously. I did get rid of them by my own accord after discussing it with the doctor but I honestly think I acted in a state of shock and was just trying to appease them. To add, they stopped my TMS treatment which has been my sole reason to get out of bed. I did visit the ER for the first time ever Thursday but got sent home because I told them I didn't have any active suicidal intent or plans. Now my anxiety is at an all time high, and I feel completely stuck in limbo. Going to get my brain zapped daily, even though it ultimately didn't work, gave me something to look forward to. I don't know what I'm going to do now; I have a phone call scheduled with my psychiatrist on Tuesday, but that's three whole days away. I know I will be fine, just like I always am, but it's getting tiring having to keep this heaviness at bay all alone. Reaching out for help again feels like a lost cause, and I'm not even sure I have it "bad enough".

 

[Carrot]

Reaching out for help again feels like a lost cause, and I'm not even sure I have it "bad enough".

Waiting for it to get worse and then reaching out doesn't sound like a great idea. But it is true that thy are overloaded with people.

I never heard of TMS treatment, or if I did it's very limited to a quick search online. I don't think it's something you'd do forever, it did have to stop at some point, right?

I also don't know your situation at all.

I don't think I'm too helpful, sorry. I wanted to write something but I'm also exhausted now.

 

[Redacted24]

I don't know if this will help but, welcome to the community...and so very sorry you found your way here.

I've found people on this site very kind and understanding. It's nice to be able to be open and honest about feeling not great, to people that can really understand what that means.

Whatever is going on, it's bad enough.

Whatever needs to be said can be. Should be. And should be heard.

It's great you have an appointment soon.
In the meantime, we're here for you with kindness and support and empathy.

This community has kept me going for three years now.

Three years longer than I expected.

We're here for you.
Well...I can't really speak to others I guess.

I'll be here for you, for whatever that's worth.

 

[orpheus_]

You do not need to be planning suicide soon to deserve help. Just because you are alive does not mean it's not bad, and I think you should ask for help if you have a way to. Unfortunately I know the world is not fair and not everyone has the same possibilities, and healthcare professionals range from great to terrible, too, so if you feel like you're not being treated seriously it doesn't necessarily mean the situation is not serious. You can ask them for help, it 's literally their job. Also something that gives you motivation to get out of bed and, even better, out of the house is really helpful, and maybe you could ask your psychiatrist or whoever is available if they know any options? Maybe some sort of support group or kind of therapy or even just ideas for anything that would not be just "go out for a walk for the sake of it".

 

[schizoidoll]

Thank you all for the support. After years of lurking I am glad I finally joined.

You do not need to be planning suicide soon to deserve help. Just because you are alive does not mean it's not bad, and I think you should ask for help if you have a way to. Unfortunately I know the world is not fair and not everyone has the same possibilities, and healthcare professionals range from great to terrible, too, so if you feel like you're not being treated seriously it doesn't necessarily mean the situation is not serious. You can ask them for help, it 's literally their job.

Actually, this nurse at the TMS clinic was the one who encouraged me to go to the emergency room. I think she has been the only one so far who actually saw my struggle. As far as I know, inpatient here is reserved for people who are at imminent risk of suicide or psychotic/manic. I wish we had those treatment programs that exist elsewhere. I am glad that I live in a place where these services even exist at all, but just because I am able to feed myself and go to my appointments I feel like I'm left to fend for myself. I literally do nothing but lie in bed all day. I kinda wish I could become actively suicidal again, but I think I'm too depressed to even bother atp.