When it comes to teen suicide too many parents either are in denial or don't care enough until its too late

[FireFox]

Parents of young people who have killed themselves blame Sanctioned Suicide or social media like the parents of Molly Russell but there is an elephant in the room the media, our politicians and society doesn't want to address. When it comes to teen suicide too many parents either are in denial or don't care enough until its too late.

If a child doesn't tell their parents about how they feeling about things in their life it is for a reason. There for too many parents along with relatives who treat having a mentally ill family member as a source of inconvenience, shame and embrassment to the family. Children see up close how thier parents behave and react to things if a child chooses not to go to parents it is because that child doesn't feel comfortable confiding in their parents. Society doesn't want to acknowledge this and too many parents believe they can do no wrong.

Growing up in a strict religious African household I was always scared of getting into trouble so I found myself in messed up situations because I was too scared to call for help from adults.

When I was 16 a boy at school showed interest in me and wanted me to perform oral sex on him. I really wanted him to like me so I agreed to it. His friends filmed the entire thing and taunted me over it whenever I had encountered his friends at school. The boy never told his friends to stop. Eventually it publicly came out what happened and boy told me to never speak to him again and stopped talking to me at school it was so painful the slient treatment. He even began being racist to me. I still attended school and just rode out the embrassmet of people gossiping about me and lived with the torment knowing the video was on of his friends phone and I couldn't do anything about it. I was scared to tell the teachers because they would have phoned our all parents. I was depressed as a result of everything because I had no one to turn too. I was a fighter as a teenager if I was not I would have been a suicide statistic.

Most parents by the time they realise their is something wrong with their kid its too late.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

The parents are usually mentally ill themselves (just not diagnosed) and they go with what the TV box has taught them over the decades.

Take it from someone with autism - don't ever get people to "like you". They'll use you at some point and dump you when done.

Want to have someone who's loyal? Doesn't matter if you are happy/sad/any emotion? Doesn't gas light you?

A dog. This is the only viable option.

 

[LaughingGoat]

I used to work with teens who were suicidal and what I found is most parents viewed it through a binary lens. Basically, if their child was suicidal and unhappy = they were bad parents. Obviously, sometimes that was the case, sometimes not. But like someone in any role, parents don't want to entertain they may have done a poor job and want to believe they did the best they could. There was a lot of denial of both the causes and presence of the issues.

 

[Seele]

I don't know if I'm the only one who thinks this way, but parents blame their children when they try to commit suicide or die, my mother even judged me when I cut my wrists.From her point of view, I couldn't do that because - Don't do that, you have everything. When she herself has always been negligent

 

[Meteora]

It is easy to just blame SaSu. There is many parents who are incapable of taking responsibility. They actually never should have children. In my opinion, the parents are the ones who have the main responsibility. Let s say 90%.
People procreate and think their chilren will raise themselves or maybe dont think at all. That s so tragic.

 

[annxietty]

Its terrible what you experienced, and I agree 100% with everything you said, like a previous reply stated, most parents are mentally ill and just cope badly with it.

The reason why Im still alive is because Ive always been too much of a coward and also because whenever I regained the will to fight I took advantage of it and fought by myself (these are very rare instances tho), my parents not only didnt help me but it was like they wanted me dead, and this is something I will never be able to say outloud... I was open about what I was feeling until I realized it was useless, I told my mom I didnt know how to live and she said "me neither" ,after years and years of cutting my arms my dad finally saw the cuts and told me I was crazy and dumb. I was living with him, I would wear short sleeves, my arms full of cuts and he wouldnt see them lmao...

"Dad Im suffering I need help" I literally said this crying and begging, he didnt do anything... "Mom I dont know If I can keep on living", she told me that she was the one suffering the most and that everytime she talked with me she would get more depressed, that she would kill herself... I stopped talking...

Parents care but most of them are mentally ill, dont want to feel like they are bad parents, or both lol... blaming this site and other media is the easy way, close this site Im sure there wont be anymore suicides... its ridiculous, but its a good excuse to not look at the real issue.

 

[BlockHammer]

Regarding to this type of situation either the parents were narcissistic (blame everyone but them for their mistake) or they just have a really bad luck,mean that they were actually a good parents and their child actually loves them. But due to outside circumstance, the child unfortunately commited suicide.

Also i have to count the impact made by social media especially in facebook, where it's easy to influence people by giving them one sides point of view and then you got this parent who were grieving, can't think clearly for themself. Yea u got this parent who's gonna participate in this anti SaSu compaign

 

[Tesha]

I'm sorry that was your experience.

I don't agree it's 'most parents'. But I do acknowledge it's some parents.

I'm a parent and I'd like to think I could have an open dialogue with my children about their feelings. While I have my own mental illnesses, I will always do my best to put my children's mental health first. Admittedly I don't always get it right, but who does about anything?

 

[Pluto]

It's important to take it on a case-by-case basis out of respect for scenarios where a perfectly good parent is out of the loop while traumatic events are unfolding. In a perfect world, parents would be available at all times and have a perfectly nonjudgmental relationship. But I haven't been a parent and I couldn't guarantee that I'd achieve that even if I tried.

At the opposite end of the spectrum there is narcissistic parenting. These people will pretty shamelessly drive their own children to suicide because they lack any sort of empathy.

There is no way that decent parents who love their children, even if they make an honest mistake or face tragic events outside of their control, should be conflated with Nparents.

From the evidence I've seen, the ones who crusade against this website are of the Nparent variety. They are taking advantage of the situation to glorify themselves as caped crusaders, sadistically attacking communities of suffering people (which gives a hint of how they treated their own suffering children before they died) and covering up their role in what happened by projecting blame to a website.

 

[halleyscomet]

I think a lot of people go into denial when someone says that they're suicidal.

I think it can be very hard emotionally for someone to love and care for someone that no longer wants to live - so they go straight to denial. They simply can't believe it because if they accepted the reality of the situation it would be very stressful and upsetting, like when someone you love is diagnosed with a terminal illness.

I also think it's just very difficult for non suicidal people to empathise with those who are. If you've never considered ctb before, your whole life has revolved around living it to the fullest and actively avoiding death, to think someone is considering something you've spent your whole life dreading and avoiding can be extremely difficult to understand.

Either way, people should be more open to and empathetic with those who are suicidal. There should be more awareness and understanding on not how to prevent suicide, but how to understand how suicidal people think and feel.

 

[FireFox]

I used to work with teens who were suicidal and what I found is most parents viewed it through a binary lens. Basically, if their child was suicidal and unhappy = they were bad parents. Obviously, sometimes that was the case, sometimes not. But like someone in any role, parents don't want to entertain they may have done a poor job and want to believe they did the best they could. There was a lot of denial of both the causes and presence of the issues.

@LaughingGoat why did you stop working with teens who were suicidal?

The problem with modern parenting is too many parents do not know know what is going on in thier kids lives and refuse to take responsibility.

When I was builled at school my buillles parents were absolutely clueless about what thier kids were doing and other parents were complete arseholes so it was not surprising their sons and daughters builled me and terrorised the school population.

I live in a city that has high knife crime and the victims are mainly teenage boys and even girls too and also young adults. The teens that killed as a result of knife crime later on it comes out the child was a member of criminal gang, a drill music group or had friends in rival gangs. Normally this stabbings are a result of arguments over drug terrority or some young person made a drill music video insulting a rival gang member and now gang member wants revenge . Unfortunately innocent people have gotten killed by knife crime in my city. It is out of control.

The same parents of these kids will get defensive and say "my son was a good boy he will never" then later on it comes out son was in gang doing shady things and upset the wrong person.

People in my city blame either our Mayor or the government for high knife crime but nobody wants to admit that these kids killed come from dysfunctional households and found themselves caught up in the materialstic world of gangs and drugs and the city is now suffering for it.

I don't know if I'm the only one who thinks this way, but parents blame their children when they try to commit suicide or die, my mother even judged me when I cut my wrists.From her point of view, I couldn't do that because - Don't do that, you have everything. When she herself has always been negligent

@unnecessary Same with my mine too. I used to cut myself when I was a teenager. When my mum discovered I was self-harming and she was so furious. She accused me for "attention seeing" and called me "stupid" and kept making me feel bad for it at home while in public she presented herself as the caring mother.

● At a GP appointment when the Dr asked about my cuts my mum told the Dr she was shocked I that I self harm because her job involves working domestic violence victims and mentally ill people. She told Dr I was just stressed about exams and how everything is fine. Dr believed everything she said.

My mum refused me so see a therapist offered by my local mental health services so I never got treatment.

At home my mum will be "you are so selfish" ,"think about the consequences your actions have on people" , " I don't want social services". My grandmother just as a bad " this is how social services go into people's houses"

Unfortunately in my mums job see saw all the time how social services harass and give migrant families, black and asain families a hard time while White English families who were even worse didn't get this much harassment or investigation.

I was so scared and believed if I told my teacher about my self harm social services will come to my house because of everything my mum told me.

I'm sorry that was your experience.

I don't agree it's 'most parents'. But I do acknowledge it's some parents.

I'm a parent and I'd like to think I could have an open dialogue with my children about their feelings. While I have my own mental illnesses, I will always do my best to put my children's mental health first. Admittedly I don't always get it right, but who does about anything?

@Tesha you are a great parent. Your kids are so lucky to have you I wish I had that a teenager.

When I was a teenager I didn't have any adult figure to talk to openly about my mental health problems.

My mum was always working as a single mother and stressed about work or hospital stuff due to my younger sister constantly in and out of hospitals. The relatives I have are awful people who were even finding my mental health issues funny and pathetic family gossip. As a teenager I had to learn my relatives saw me as the crazy freak of the family.

It's important to take it on a case-by-case basis out of respect for scenarios where a perfectly good parent is out of the loop while traumatic events are unfolding. In a perfect world, parents would be available at all times and have a perfectly nonjudgmental relationship. But I haven't been a parent and I couldn't guarantee that I'd achieve that even if I tried.

At the opposite end of the spectrum there is narcissistic parenting. These people will pretty shamelessly drive their own children to suicide because they lack any sort of empathy.

There is no way that decent parents who love their children, even if they make an honest mistake or face tragic events outside of their control, should be conflated with Nparents.

From the evidence I've seen, the ones who crusade against this website are of the Nparent variety. They are taking advantage of the situation to glorify themselves as caped crusaders, sadistically attacking communities of suffering people (which gives a hint of how they treated their own suffering children before they died) and covering up their role in what happened by projecting blame to a website.

@Pluto When I see families on the TV about their child who killed themselves I feel like something is missing.

I question did these parents actually take take seriously thier kids during the times they said they were depressed and anxious ?
Its always the same story
" we didn't know she was depressed, we cant believe it "
" it's all Instagram, Twitters fault "
I am sorry but when it comes to mental health too many parents are denial or just didn't care enough to take seriously by the time they realised it how bad their childs mental health is it is too late.

 

[FireFox]

It is easy to just blame SaSu. There is many parents who are incapable of taking responsibility. They actually never should have children. In my opinion, the parents are the ones who have the main responsibility. Let s say 90%.
People procreate and think their chilren will raise themselves or maybe dont think at all. That s so tragic.

@Meteora shutting Sactioned Suicide will not make any difference to anyone's lives because the Internet itself is a marketplace for information on suicide methods.

There are so many other alternative websites and blogs that exist on the ENTIRE Internet which give information on suicide methods.

● When I was a teenager I found this a blog online that was made by an American performer called Jerry Hunt who killed himself using carbon monoxide gas because the poor man was suffering from terminal cancer. His blog gave instructions on using this method. His blog is still up there on Google I should know because I was reading it 2 days ago and I regularly read it.

Does Google get punished for allowing this information but to be so easily seen? NO it doesn't. So why should Sanctioned Suicide be punished for allowing the same information.

●There are many scientific websites, books and journals that give information on how fatal a substance can be and even breaking down how dangerous certain milligrams are for the body being exposed to this amount.

Do people report these academics and journals to the police ? Absolutely NOT because these journals are what medical students and those working in medicine need to know.

Regarding to this type of situation either the parents were narcissistic (blame everyone but them for their mistake) or they just have a really bad luck,mean that they were actually a good parents and their child actually loves them. But due to outside circumstance, the child unfortunately commited suicide.

Also i have to count the impact made by social media especially in facebook, where it's easy to influence people by giving them one sides point of view and then you got this parent who were grieving, can't think clearly for themself. Yea u got this parent who's gonna participate in this anti SaSu compaign

@BlockHammer These campaign groups don't understand how the Internet has evolved so much and shutting down one website will not make any difference in suicide reduction of teens.

Internet itself is a marketplace for information on suicide methods. There are so many other alternative websites and blogs that exist on the ENTIRE Internet which give information on suicide methods. Information now easily gets circulated in the online age.


● When I was a teenager I found this a blog online that was made by an American performer called Jerry Hunt who killed himself using carbon monoxide gas because the poor man was suffering from terminal cancer. His blog gave instructions on using this method. His blog is still up there on Google I should know because I was reading it 2 days ago and I regularly read it.

Does Google get punished for allowing this information but to be so easily seen? NO it doesn't. So why should Sanctioned Suicide be punished for allowing the same information.

●There are many public scientific websites, books and journals that give information on how fatal a substance can be and even breaking down how dangerous certain milligrams are for the body being exposed to this amount.

Do people report these academics and journals to the police ? Absolutely NOT because these journals are what medical students and those working in medicine need to know.

If Sanctioned Suicide shut down today people will go elsewhere and new suicide forums will emerge. Suicide forums are nothing new and will exist in every generation.

 

[Tesha]

@FireFox I'm not going to go into detail with your last post. But, you matter and aren't a "crazy freak'. You can go into as much detail as you want on this forum. It's completely shite that some people think we don't matter because of our illnesses, but we do.

I really wish you find the support you need. I also wish that whatever decision you take with your life is the right one for you.

 

[LaughingGoat]

@LaughingGoat why did you stop working with teens who were suicidal?

The problem with modern parenting is too many parents do not know know what is going on in thier kids lives and refuse to take responsibility.

When I was builled at school my buillles parents were absolutely clueless about what thier kids were doing and other parents were complete arseholes so it was not surprising their sons and daughters builled me and terrorised the school population.

I live in a city that has high knife crime and the victims are mainly teenage boys and even girls too and also young adults. The teens that killed as a result of knife crime later on it comes out the child was a member of criminal gang, a drill music group or had friends in rival gangs. Normally this stabbings are a result of arguments over drug terrority or some young person made a drill music video insulting a rival gang member and now gang member wants revenge . Unfortunately innocent people have gotten killed by knife crime in my city. It is out of control.

The same parents of these kids will get defensive and say "my son was a good boy he will never" then later on it comes out son was in gang doing shady things and upset the wrong person.

People in my city blame either our Mayor or the government for high knife crime but nobody wants to admit that these kids killed come from dysfunctional households and found themselves caught up in the materialstic world of gangs and drugs and the city is now suffering for it.

I ended starting a business during Covid and decided to do that full-time.

Definitely, negligent parenting is a more common occurrence amongst parents than typically noticed abuse. What you are saying about the cause of violent youth is absolutely spot on. I live in one of the most prevalent gang active cities in the USA and many of my students were fostered in the gang culture which filled in the gaps from a lack of parental guidance and support.

 

[FireFox]

I think a lot of people go into denial when someone says that they're suicidal.

I think it can be very hard emotionally for someone to love and care for someone that no longer wants to live - so they go straight to denial. They simply can't believe it because if they accepted the reality of the situation it would be very stressful and upsetting, like when someone you love is diagnosed with a terminal illness.

I also think it's just very difficult for non suicidal people to empathise with those who are. If you've never considered ctb before, your whole life has revolved around living it to the fullest and actively avoiding death, to think someone is considering something you've spent your whole life dreading and avoiding can be extremely difficult to understand.

Either way, people should be more open to and empathetic with those who are suicidal. There should be more awareness and understanding on not how to prevent suicide, but how to understand how suicidal people think and feel.

@halleyscomet When someone is going through a really hard time they need the support of their family and friends this is what family and friends for. The problem with society people love to stick around in your life when all the amazing things are happening but when the hard times come people are quick to run away. When to comes to mental health too many people see mentally ill people as an inconvenience to their ives, suicide is a symptom of a broken world.

The British singer Morrisey was right about how hypocritical society is when it comes to people suffering mental illness and addiction.Morrisey criticised the hypocritcical celebrity tributes to Sinead O'Connor saying "You hadn't the guts to support her when she was alive and she was looking for you". Morrissey then likened Sinead's death to those of other female stars such as Amy Winehouse. He wrote: 'Why is ANYBODY surprised that Sinead O'Connor is dead?

'Who cared enough to save Judy Garland, Whitney Houston, Amy Winehouse, Marilyn Monroe, Billie Holiday? Where do you go when death can be the best outcome? Was this music madness worth Sinead's life?

'No, it wasn't.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowb...g-death-aged-56-hadnt-guts-support-alive.html

Morrisey has a reputation for being an arsehole but this time he was right the same media that made fun of her mental health problems and celebrities that condemned her throughout her life are now appreciating her because she has died. When it comes ordinary members of the public too the same message applies people reach out and nobody cares enough to save you everyone treats you like an inconvenience in thier normal lives until the day you die.
Why should a person want to live in a world where nobody cares enough to help them with their problems.

 

[Meteora]

@Meteora shutting Sactioned Suicide will not make any difference to anyone's lives because the Internet itself is a marketplace for information on suicide methods.

I agree 100%!!!
(shit I just deleted my long answer, gonna write it later again.)

 

[Praestat_Mori]

TL;DR. When a teen and the the younger they are considers suicide as their solution there must be sth horribly going wrong in the household. Nobody - whether a child, a teen or an adult - becomes suicidal from one day to the other day.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

You're absolutely right--parents don't usually have full access to their teens' emotions at that age and that's the right thing for a teenager. It's part of brain development, actually. Parents' are the primary focus for kids during the younger period but by the teen years the person has now transitioned to relying on the peer group for validation and social support.

That can cause consequences because another part of growing up that seems to be some humans-gotta-human stuff is bullying and pecking orders. Some kids get to spend time moving around the order, and others are stuck toward the bottom. Other kids move from high positions to low positions but regardless, when you're taking cues on your value as an individual from your peer group and that peer group turns on you, it can feel like the floor has dropped out from beneath you, and in a very real sense because we pin our personalities to the identities of those around us, it has.

[sidenote lol just realised personalities function like international currency. I am fully insane, I know]

So parents are kind of ineffective in their attempts to help and they often feel stilted, or like they are pretending to care, or any of those things. And the peer group, which is supposed to be functioning as the support for a kid, is flawed--possibly by technology and The Times, possibly not. Practically, it doesn't matter the reason. What are the solutions?

I rejected all input from my surviving parent [long story in a long post], from all my older relatives, from the friends' parents who took me in when mine needed a break from me, I rejected help from all counselors and psychologists, I rejected the groups of other kids my age who had been similarly traumatised [I did find it funny that they would have us all talk about our experiences at the time (as a 37 year old man, yeah, talk about your feelings kids, I don't care who's on the other side of the table, the practice is to learn the skill of emotional processing and you do that by talking].

I think the missing piece is a stronger mental healthcare system for kids and a reevaluation of under-18 diagnostics. Cuz I didn't need all those people shoved in my face. Fucking assholes lol I am specifically sensitive to people. I needed diagnosis and for people to fuck off and put me in "maybe gifted maybe challenged" school all by myself.

 

[FireFox]

TL;DR. When a teen and the the younger they are considers suicide as their solution there must be sth horribly going wrong in the household. Nobody - whether a child, a teen or an adult - becomes suicidal from one day to the other day.

@Praestat_Mori One of the main factors of teen suicide is bullying especially cyber bullying. Schools and parents too don't take it seriously enough. When I was as a teenager the suicide of Amanda Todd happened and other teen suicides related to cyber bullying were being regularly reported in the UK press toom.

I was a teenager in the 2010s and social media was beginning to become popular in peoples daily activities and interactions. Most people at school including teachers too had twitter, Facebook and Snapchat accounts. 2010s as a teenager was a crazy time.

Due to the popularity of social media platforms amoungst teens schools in the UK were experiencing a wave of cyber bullying including teen suicides. During the time I was a teen in the my city was one of the UK cities badly effected by riots of 2011 over the police shooting an unarmed black man Mark Duggan. During the rioting there was mass looting of businesses and violence it was like the purge. The riots spread across other UK cities and the riots across other UK cities were instigated by group of men on social media encouraging people to steal and vandalise their neighbourhoods.

We had regular school assemblies on cyber bullying. The school assemblies the teachers were preaching about cyber bullying being wrong and the consequences of being caught cyber bullying other students in the school. The consequences ranged from getting suspended from school to being expelled. It depended on the severity of the bullying.

You're absolutely right--parents don't usually have full access to their teens' emotions at that age and that's the right thing for a teenager. It's part of brain development, actually. Parents' are the primary focus for kids during the younger period but by the teen years the person has now transitioned to relying on the peer group for validation and social support.

That can cause consequences because another part of growing up that seems to be some humans-gotta-human stuff is bullying and pecking orders. Some kids get to spend time moving around the order, and others are stuck toward the bottom. Other kids move from high positions to low positions but regardless, when you're taking cues on your value as an individual from your peer group and that peer group turns on you, it can feel like the floor has dropped out from beneath you, and in a very real sense because we pin our personalities to the identities of those around us, it has.

[sidenote lol just realised personalities function like international currency. I am fully insane, I know]

So parents are kind of ineffective in their attempts to help and they often feel stilted, or like they are pretending to care, or any of those things. And the peer group, which is supposed to be functioning as the support for a kid, is flawed--possibly by technology and The Times, possibly not. Practically, it doesn't matter the reason. What are the solutions?

I rejected all input from my surviving parent [long story in a long post], from all my older relatives, from the friends' parents who took me in when mine needed a break from me, I rejected help from all counselors and psychologists, I rejected the groups of other kids my age who had been similarly traumatised [I did find it funny that they would have us all talk about our experiences at the time (as a 37 year old man, yeah, talk about your feelings kids, I don't care who's on the other side of the table, the practice is to learn the skill of emotional processing and you do that by talking].

I think the missing piece is a stronger mental healthcare system for kids and a reevaluation of under-18 diagnostics. Cuz I didn't need all those people shoved in my face. Fucking assholes lol I am specifically sensitive to people. I needed diagnosis and for people to fuck off and put me in "maybe gifted maybe challenged" school all by myself.

@Jorms_McGander I do believe listening is important and too many parents and older people are not good at listening and are quick to judge.

I have always said it and more and more I believe it older people forget being young. I believe as you grow older time changes a person's perspective and all those feelings and thoughts you had at the time in your youth eventually forget.

If older people remembered being young then they would be able to better understand young people and their anxieties and things making them depressed unfortunately too many older people are just judgmental.

The parents are usually mentally ill themselves (just not diagnosed) and they go with what the TV box has taught them over the decades.

Take it from someone with autism - don't ever get people to "like you". They'll use you at some point and dump you when done.

Want to have someone who's loyal? Doesn't matter if you are happy/sad/any emotion? Doesn't gas light you?

A dog. This is the only viable option.

@Throwawayacc3 As a teenager I was very lonely in secondary school due to being werid quirky girl who people at school regularly builled and even my own girl group friends at school also excluded me too and it got worse when a new girl came in the group who didn't want me in the group. It was natural I wanted friends and to be loved.

The year that video got filmed by those boys it was a year of loneliness and pure confusion at school. The boys mates pretended to be my friend and then were massive gaslighters blaming me for humiliating their friend when it came out what had happened. Their friend not even once said anything when his arsehole mates kept the video and were constantly making jokes about it. He stood there and did nothing.

When I moved on from the boy I feel in love with another boy who was in the year above. We were getting on so well. I liked him because I thought he was different from the other boys. He began to avoid to me at school and didn't want to seen with the school freak. The boys who did the filming came too me and said " do you know why the boys are all avoiding you it's because of what you did with x, they are all running away from you"

In the end I ended up passing my exams and going to university to study undergraduate law. Going to university gave me the fresh start I needed and I was so happy.

 

[FireFox]

Its terrible what you experienced, and I agree 100% with everything you said, like a previous reply stated, most parents are mentally ill and just cope badly with it.

The reason why Im still alive is because Ive always been too much of a coward and also because whenever I regained the will to fight I took advantage of it and fought by myself (these are very rare instances tho), my parents not only didnt help me but it was like they wanted me dead, and this is something I will never be able to say outloud... I was open about what I was feeling until I realized it was useless, I told my mom I didnt know how to live and she said "me neither" ,after years and years of cutting my arms my dad finally saw the cuts and told me I was crazy and dumb. I was living with him, I would wear short sleeves, my arms full of cuts and he wouldnt see them lmao...

"Dad Im suffering I need help" I literally said this crying and begging, he didnt do anything... "Mom I dont know If I can keep on living", she told me that she was the one suffering the most and that everytime she talked with me she would get more depressed, that she would kill herself... I stopped talking...

Parents care but most of them are mentally ill, dont want to feel like they are bad parents, or both lol... blaming this site and other media is the easy way, close this site Im sure there wont be anymore suicides... its ridiculous, but its a good excuse to not look at the real issue.

@annxietty You deserved so much better. Your story demonstrates why social services exist. People complain about social services but if people looked after their kids properly social services would not exist.

You are not coward most people fear death because of the uncertainty. When it comes to death nobody knows what happens when we die and that uncertainty scares people the most.

@FireFox I'm not going to go into detail with your last post. But, you matter and aren't a "crazy freak'. You can go into as much detail as you want on this forum. It's completely shite that some people think we don't matter because of our illnesses, but we do.

I really wish you find the support you need. I also wish that whatever decision you take with your life is the right one for you.

@Tesha Thanks

 

[Jorms_McGander]

@Praestat_Mori One of the main factors of teen suicide is bullying especially cyber bullying. Schools and parents too don't take it seriously enough. When I was as a teenager the suicide of Amanda Todd happened and other teen suicides related to cyber bullying were being regularly reported in the UK press toom.

I was a teenager in the 2010s and social media was beginning to become popular in peoples daily activities and interactions. Most people at school including teachers too had twitter, Facebook and Snapchat accounts. 2010s as a teenager was a crazy time.

Due to the popularity of social media platforms amoungst teens schools in the UK were experiencing a wave of cyber bullying including teen suicides. During the time I was a teen in the my city was one of the UK cities badly effected by riots of 2011 over the police shooting an unarmed black man Mark Duggan. During the rioting there was mass looting of businesses and violence it was like the purge. The riots spread across other UK cities and the riots across other UK cities were instigated by group of men on social media encouraging people to steal and vandalise their neighbourhoods.

We had regular school assemblies on cyber bullying. The school assemblies the teachers were preaching about cyber bullying being wrong and the consequences of being caught cyber bullying other students in the school. The consequences ranged from getting suspended from school to being expelled. It depended on the severity of the bullying.

@Jorms_McGander I do believe listening is important and too many parents and older people are not good at listening and are quick to judge.

I have always said it and more and more I believe it older people forget being young. I believe as you grow older time changes a person's perspective and all those feelings and thoughts you had at the time in your youth eventually forget.

If older people remembered being young then they would be able to better understand young people and their anxieties and things making them depressed unfortunately too many older people are just judgmental.

@Throwawayacc3 As a teenager I was very lonely in secondary school due to being werid quirky girl who people at school regularly builled and even my own girl group friends at school also excluded me too and it got worse when a new girl came in the group who didn't want me in the group. It was natural I wanted friends and to be loved.

The year that video got filmed by those boys it was a year of loneliness and pure confusion at school. The boys mates pretended to be my friend and then were massive gaslighters blaming me for humiliating their friend when it came out what had happened. Their friend not even once said anything when his arsehole mates kept the video and were constantly making jokes about it. He stood there and did nothing.

When I moved on from the boy I feel in love with another boy who was in the year above. We were getting on so well. I liked him because I thought he was different from the other boys. He began to avoid to me at school and didn't want to seen with the school freak. The boys who did the filming came too me and said " do you know why the boys are all avoiding you it's because of what you did with x, they are all running away from you"

In the end I ended up passing my exams and going to university to study undergraduate law. Going to university gave me the fresh start I needed and I was so happy.

I identify with the perspectives you're sharing about older people very strongly.

Now mind you I'm neurodivergent and I'm not able to support myself without crumbling into mental breakdowns and addiction, so maybe I never grew up or something but I'm also 37 now so I just wanna explore this idea that I'll forget being young sometime pretty soon.

I also have a fairly unbroken string of visual memories all the way back to the time I hugged the wrong pair of pants when my eyes were about knee height. Not sure if others have that. Maybe that's why, cuz I still remember being two feet tall.

I think older people are reacting to their own traumas, insecurities, and day-to-day emotions. In a very immature way. This comes out in many different ways but a common one must be the thinking that if my kid has problems then I have problems. Well, yeah asshole you are passing your problems down to your kid. But people don't like to think that. So you get intergenerational disconnections--above and beyond the psychologically studied process of maturation.

 

[thenamingofcats]

When I was a teenager every kid I knew that self harmed or was suicidal had shitty parents and a bad home life. I can't think of a single one that was being mentored and well parented that had these feelings. Challenges yes, but not wanting to die or hurt themselves.

 

[FireFox]

When I was a teenager every kid I knew that self harmed or was suicidal had shitty parents and a bad home life. I can't think of a single one that was being mentored and well parented that had these feelings. Challenges yes, but not wanting to die or hurt themselves.

@thenamingofcats Some of these parents that cry on national TV when their child goes missing or has killed themselves not of all them are innocent. It is scary how deceptive parents can be.

In the UK there was a very sad case of a 13 year old girl called Amber Peat who went missing and was found hanged later on in a park. When she went missing her mother and stepfather was even crying on live TV during a press conference appealing for the child's retun. After the Amber deaths it eventually came out her stepfather was abusing her and the mother allowed him. Social services knew but didn't care. Amber killed her self because she couldn't cope anymore and the adults around her didn't care enough to save her.

There were eleven missed opportunities in the Amber Peat case

The 13-year-old 'Cinderella schoolgirl' was found hanged in a bush in Mansfield, Nottinghamshire, on June 2, 2015 - three days after she disappeared.

www.dailymail.co.uk

 

[Forveleth]

I've watched a lot of those little news story videos on YouTube where they talk to the friends and parents of people who have ctb. It's shocking the number of times if you really listen to the parents you can genuinely tell they were either clueless or didn't care enough to look into it, and then the friends, at least one friend, are almost always like "yeah we totally knew something was wrong and they tried to find help and the parents did nothing."

Edit: actually finished my thought

 

[FireFox]

I've watched a lot of those little news story videos on YouTube where they talk to the friends and parents of people who have ctb. It's shocking the number of times if you really listen to the parents you can genuinely tell they were either clueless or didn't care enough to look into it, and then the friends, at least one friend, are almost always like "yeah we totally knew something was wrong and they tried to find help and the parents did nothing."

Edit: actually finished my thought

@Forveleth It's always the same story and narrative with these parents I have a noticed a pattern. The pattern I have noticed is the parents say "we didn't know, we cant believe it"

These same parents will be blaming social media and the Internet and demand the government do something. Since when is the government responsible for parents children they choose to have. You see this is the problem with our society nobody wants to take responsibility.

 

[FireFox]

I identify with the perspectives you're sharing about older people very strongly.

Now mind you I'm neurodivergent and I'm not able to support myself without crumbling into mental breakdowns and addiction, so maybe I never grew up or something but I'm also 37 now so I just wanna explore this idea that I'll forget being young sometime pretty soon.

I also have a fairly unbroken string of visual memories all the way back to the time I hugged the wrong pair of pants when my eyes were about knee height. Not sure if others have that. Maybe that's why, cuz I still remember being two feet tall.

I think older people are reacting to their own traumas, insecurities, and day-to-day emotions. In a very immature way. This comes out in many different ways but a common one must be the thinking that if my kid has problems then I have problems. Well, yeah asshole you are passing your problems down to your kid. But people don't like to think that. So you get intergenerational disconnections--above and beyond the psychologically studied process of maturation.

@Jorms_McGander. I strongly believe time changes people and when an individual lives for so many decades they forget the young person's they used to be. The evidence is around us when you see how older people behave towards the youth.

I grew up in a religious family and it absolutely shocking witnessing my older religious relatives always judging teenagers and young adults in their 20s for behaving badly but these same religious relatives doing the judging when they were that age they were no near perfect nor saintly.

I have 1 older relative who is always preaching about the bible and gossiping about other family members as if her life her is perfect however when she was in her 20s she was drinking, smoking, fighting with people, riding motorbikes and sleeping in luxury hotels with men . The whole family knows it. The stories of my older relatives behaviour as young people is absolutely shocking but still they act as if they were perfect and never made a mistake.

My 20s have been chaotic and i am frustrated I have failed to achieve stability the way other people my age I know have done. I admit all these things I am going through right now I want to forget this period of my life especially the events of last year which was the worst year of my life.