Venting When is there no reason to keep dragging things on? (Psych)

[AllThePsychMeds]

I have bipolar. Diagnosed when I was 13, 26 years ago. There were ups and a lot of heavy downs. Parents, school, and home life weren't good, but I've had it better than a lot of people here. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis when I was 5. It's progressed a lot. I'm limited. My life is scheduled around its treatment.

I've been in mixed and depressive states for the last 4 years. Antipsychotics, antidepressants, lithium, antianxiety medication, valium, medical marijuana, prednisone, antiepileptics, inpatient, outpatient, CBT, DBT, talk therapy, TMS, ECT, ketamine... you get the idea. I've given 24 different successive drugs 8 week trials. I've been the "good" patient.

Nothing. My psych is two more trials away from prescribing MAOIs.

I don't know when to call it. The first thing I do when I wake up is to count the hours until bedtime. I'm here because depression and drugs have put me into an unmotivated, zombie-like stupor.

I have SN and SA. I'm a molecular biologist (or I was until I couldn't work), so handling SA doesn't intimidate me. I feel like ordering meto is a point of commitment, but the depression has left me unable to make choices—even simple ones like what to eat or drink.

I'm deeply suffering by continually being because of stagnation. I know I'm done, but I'm just here, as if I'm waiting for permission.

I'm also probably some sort of pathetic coward who deserves all this.

 

[heylightiforgot]

I relate to what you say about being unable to make choices. I have a chronic health issue and a lot of gut-related symptoms, which seem to be tied into cognitive function. A few weeks ago I experienced a dramatic worsening of gut symptoms which was accompanied by a huge cognitive decline; my mind literally feels like mud. I can't think and have to force every tiny action. It's bizarre. At the same time, I pretty desperately need to get off this planet and my pseudo-dementia is making formulating/executing any kind of plan nearly impossible.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I have bipolar. Diagnosed when I was 13, 26 years ago. There were ups and a lot of heavy downs. Parents, school, and home life weren't good, but I've had it better than a lot of people here. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis when I was 5. It's progressed a lot. I'm limited. My life is scheduled around its treatment.

I've been in mixed and depressive states for the last 4 years. Antipsychotics, antidepressants, lithium, antianxiety medication, valium, medical marijuana, prednisone, antiepileptics, inpatient, outpatient, CBT, DBT, talk therapy, TMS, ECT, ketamine... you get the idea. I've given 24 different successive drugs 8 week trials. I've been the "good" patient.

Nothing. My psych is two more trials away from prescribing MAOIs.

I don't know when to call it. The first thing I do when I wake up is to count the hours until bedtime. I'm here because depression and drugs have put me into an unmotivated, zombie-like stupor.

I have SN and SA. I'm a molecular biologist (or I was until I couldn't work), so handling SA doesn't intimidate me. I feel like ordering meto is a point of commitment, but the depression has left me unable to make choices—even simple ones like what to eat or drink.

I'm deeply suffering by continually being because of stagnation. I know I'm done, but I'm just here, as if I'm waiting for permission.

I'm also probably some sort of pathetic coward who deserves all this.

i dont know much about MAOIs- why are they the last thing they try do u think? would you try them? are they meant to be supposedly helpful in bi-polar cases ( i dont know too much about tbh-except from a couple of documentaries) apparently i just have treatment resistant depression-but that different from bi-polar- the docu's I watched were heart breaking thou. Also - i had no idea ECT was still used?!

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I don't know when to call it. The first thing I do when I wake up is to count the hours until bedtime.

If you ask professionals or most lay people, the answer is "never." FTS...