Venting When I die, I won't be able to reflect on my life

[kunikuzushi]

I'm so detached from my memories. None of it feels like it happened to me. I can't look back on any happy memories even though I'm sure a few happy things happened to me. I can't even look back in regret or disappointment. I can't look back on anything. It's sad knowing I'm just floating through life as a someone with no memories. I don't even feel like yesterday happened.
My life and death are both truly meaningless to me.

 

[[Lord Void]]

Sounds like depersonalization/derealization which matches how I feel too and it's a real pain to deal with. I look back on the life I once had and the events that led to me turning into this and none of it feels real. Even in any given present moment it doesn't really feel like I'm there either. I hate that this is my life now. I wanted to do so much before and now I don't care about any of it. All I want to do is end it all.

 

[kunikuzushi]

Sounds like depersonalization/derealization which matches how I feel too and it's a real pain to deal with. I look back on the life I once had and the events that led to me turning into this and none of it feels real. Even in any given present moment it doesn't really feel like I'm there either. I hate that this is my life now. I wanted to do so much before and now I don't care about any of it. All I want to do is end it all.

I'm so sorry you have to feel this too. I can imagine you've been under a lot of stress or trauma for it to get this bad for you. I hope you can find some relief from it and peace. Thank you for sharing.