When did you lose your ‘safe’ feeling?

[Volatile]

I lost it around the time I moved away from home. It was a comfy environment. Being alone has increased my anxiety and dread. It's nerve racking.

 

[bigj75]

17 years old is when i lost mine

 

[Throwaway563078]

I never felt safe, or if I ever did I lost the feeling as a young child to remember

 

[TiredHorse]

I found it when I met my beloved, 25 years ago; for the 23 years prior, I had never known safety. I lost it when everything started to fall apart, five years ago, and the last of it was crushed out six weeks ago when I learned she was pregnant by the man she left me for.

I'm hoping I can find it again somewhere out in the darkness.

 

[Lifeisatrap]

I think it was as soon as I became aware. Life has always been so confusing and mortifying to me and still is.

 

[Aesthler]

When I turned 17, that's when I realized I was gonna be utterly screwed forever.

 

[Nem]

I would have to say when I was 9 and my mom passed away suddenly. That was an eye opening experience to say the least.
Peace

 

[Lizzie S.]

I don't think I felt fully safe ever. However, when I was 15 is when I felt even more unsafe as my parents went bankrupt, lost their house and divorced then

 

[samsays89]

I don't remember. I lost so much respect for my parents that I only ever call them by their first names, never "mom" or "dad". They were abusive and unstable.

Instead of feeling safe I just try to feel prepared with food and paid bills.

Plus in Texas it's hard to feel safe when all your guns were taken away.

 

[worldexploder]

I never in my life felt safe. Even as a small child I was always on alert looking for danger. Safety doesn't exist in my opinion.

 

[Donewith_]

Firstly I never felt safe. Since my childhood ,I was insecure, never trusted people(very less). I was known as extremely sensitive from my school days.I never believed some one would stand up for me. Also I didn't have that enough self-esteem to stand up for myself.

 

[Taylored]

When I turned 15 I started to hate everything about living and with that went the comfort.

 

[Schopenhauer]

I've never felt really safe. Forced social interactions made me feel unsafe from early childhood. School was hell. Even well-meaning parents can't protect you from other kids.

 

[Daystavro]

Never had it.

 

[project77]

I lost it around the time I moved away from home. It was a comfy environment. Being alone has increased my anxiety and dread. It's nerve racking.

This and before that my time at the military.

 

[Threads]

Probably around 4 - 5 years of age.

 

[Letting Go]

My first day of preschool. I cried because I desperately wanted to go home and ended up getting kicked out. Instinctively, I must have known how cruel the outside world was, even at that early age.

 

[Circles]

I guess I never felt it especially when I became homeless. That's reality telling you are never safe and aren't guaranteed anything.

 

[Going Home]

I lost that feeling around Kindergarten. After that I only felt safe and at ease when certain family members were present. They're dead now. Hopefully I'll be with them again in spirit, if it exists.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

When I was 14, my older brother and sister moved out of the house together. I always felt like they were my "fun" parents and I connected far better with them than my real ones. They functioned as a buffer zone between us too. They gave me confidence. When they moved out, I started to really isolate myself and feel worse about everything. I think in many ways I also stopped progressing after that.

 

[Fallen bad23]

What is like to feel safe?

 

[Final Escape]

My first day of preschool. I cried because I desperately wanted to go home and ended up getting kicked out. Instinctively, I must have known how cruel the outside world was, even at that early age.

I had this instinctive feeling as soon as I was being forced to go to school everyday. I was unhappy there but my needs or feelings about it didn't matter. I thought to myself that if this is what it's goin to be like as an adult lol! To have to go to a job for many hours of the day that I probably won't enjoy I'm fucked. It's not that I don't want to do anything productive, but u want to be able to have a measure of control over it and not feel like a slave.

 

[Letting Go]

I had this instinctive feeling as soon as I was being forced to go to school everyday. I was unhappy there but my needs or feelings about it didn't matter. I thought to myself that if this is what it's goin to be like as an adult lol! To have to go to a job for many hours of the day that I probably won't enjoy I'm fucked. It's not that I don't want to do anything productive, but u want to be able to have a measure of control over it and not feel like a slave.

Well said. I dreaded entering the working world before I even started my career. As it turned out, my instincts were dead-on once again. The working world proved to be even more nightmarish than I imagined it would be. The only tolerable jobs I've ever had were short-term assignments where I performed simple tasks that I could have done when I was a preschool crybaby. And even then, I cursed god every morning I had to wake up at some ungodly hour like 6AM, wolf down my breakfast, and then battle rush-hour traffic on my way to cubicleland.

 

[Final Escape]

Well said. I dreaded entering the working world before I even started my career. As it turned out, my instincts were dead-on once again. The working world proved to be even more nightmarish than I imagined it would be. The only tolerable jobs I've ever had were short-term assignments where I performed simple tasks that I could have done when I was a preschool crybaby. And even then, I cursed god every morning I had to wake up at some ungodly hour like 6AM, wolf down my breakfast, and then battle rush-hour traffic on my way to cubicleland.

Right lol!

 

[Jen Erik]

I've never felt safe. It sucks because a number of therapy protocols that have proved effective for so many, like EMDR and some of the psychoactive drug protocols like with MDMA or ketamine, require the patient to envision a 'safe place'; I failed at EMDR because I could not conjure up a safe place.

 

[Empty Smile]

Honestly couldn't say. I know when I was a teenager my safe feeling was gone. Since then, it's pretty much been me against the world. And as the years went by, I just sank lower and lower.

 

[Final Escape]

I've never felt safe. It sucks because a number of therapy protocols that have proved effective for so many, like EMDR and some of the psychoactive drug protocols like with MDMA or ketamine, require the patient to envision a 'safe place'; I failed at EMDR because I could not conjure up a safe place.

I thought EMDR was a pretty effective treatment but I guess it doesn't work for everyone. You u even tried Ketamine therapy and MDMA? And these failed too? Omg! I'm sorry :( what about ibogaine and ayahuasca? I've heard good things about those.

 

[Jen Erik]

I thought EMDR was a pretty effective treatment but I guess it doesn't work for everyone. You u even tried Ketamine therapy and MDMA? And these failed too? Omg! I'm sorry :( what about ibogaine and ayahuasca? I've heard good things about those.

No, haven't tried the ketamine or MDMA protocols, my insurance doesn't cover it and I don't have the funds myself. Although I've used them recreationally in the past but I don't think that's the same as the protocols, because otherwise I think I should be cured by now. haha

EMDR was so disappointing for me, because it is a very effective treatment for so many. But, yeah, like you said, it doesn't work for everybody.

I'll look into the ibogaine and ayahuasca, don't know much about those. Thanks!

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

I lose more and more of my safe feeling every time I go to work

 

[Throwaway563078]

What is like to feel safe?

Accepted, validated, calm and fearless I guess?The feeling itself I can only imagine