miguel6565
Arcanist
- Apr 5, 2020
- 421
As the title says,when did you know you were ready to die?,i have times were i am in peace whit dead and suddenly no,so i guess i am still not ready
What about you?
What about you?
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Rue89
Visionary
- Feb 10, 2020
- 2,726
I thought I was ready earlier this year but backed out multiple times. A few days ago I found a better, more hidden spot to ctb. I wonder if the locations had something to do with it. Now I feel more prepared and I think I'm ready. When I think about my death I feel at peace.
miguel6565
Arcanist
- Apr 5, 2020
- 421
May i ask where you gonna ctb,i used to think it would be at the woods and give me a bit of anxiety now i will in the storage room and it gives me more comfort than in the woods
It's been nine months since decided to CTB (though I've been suicidal and attempted before as well). I've had a noose hanging and ready for most of that time as well. Yet I'm still here, without a real attempt all year. I guess I'm still afraid of actually dying but I know my life is hopeless and I want to be dead. So I guess I'm not really ready either but everyday life of lying in bed depressed all day is pretty unbearable.
Rue89
Visionary
- Feb 10, 2020
- 2,726
My new place is behind the park I had planned to ctb at. There's a bunch of trees, bushes, and shrubs to conceal me. It's much farther away from the walking/biking trail than my original spot, so it should be much safer, and that's comforting.
Rue89
Visionary
- Feb 10, 2020
- 2,726
VIBRITANNIA
lelouch. any pronouns. pfp is by pixiv id 3217872.
- Aug 10, 2020
- 1,156
i've only really felt ready as of recently. the first few times i "attempted", it was more out of impulsivity rather than a genuine want to die. i didn't do any research on my method, write a note, plan it beforehand, or any of that stuff.
i'm still hesitant, because i haven't quite figured out the ideal time or place yet, but i'm hoping that i'll finally feel ready by next year.
i'm still hesitant, because i haven't quite figured out the ideal time or place yet, but i'm hoping that i'll finally feel ready by next year.
I'm ready to go just growing more concerned by the day that SN won't work.
Deleted member 17949
Visionary
- May 9, 2020
- 2,238
When my rope arrived tbh. Holding it it just clicked in my mind that I was ready to ctb.
I'm in "extra time". Any time is good to ctb for me. I've been waiting to be dead for a long time and I don't want to face another day. Life has become unbearable. I never thought that someday I'd come to a point that I couldnt stand living.
LetzteAusfahrt
Swiss gay, will definitely ctb on October 10th
- Jun 27, 2020
- 590
I've been ready since mid-March, every single minute since then.
The date for the end of September has been fixed since then, but I have good reason to wait, otherwise I would be gone for a long time.
But waiting for ctb is becoming more and more difficult, the longing for death ever greater.
The torments of life are now compounded by the agony of waiting.
The date for the end of September has been fixed since then, but I have good reason to wait, otherwise I would be gone for a long time.
But waiting for ctb is becoming more and more difficult, the longing for death ever greater.
The torments of life are now compounded by the agony of waiting.
Anthagonos
Hablo español
- Aug 9, 2020
- 201
When I didn"t win the lottery.
Lots of bad things were happening to me unless I was doing my best.
I remember that in the end of the 2019 a sequence of very strange phenomena happened to me. I had a strong intuition that I was going to earn some money at lottery, in a specific date. Finally I didn't play that and my intuition was correct. I didn't earn 10M euros.
I realised that that was my biggest opportunity in life and I lost it. Imagine how someone can feel after that.
I've just realised that 'letzte ausfahrt' means 'last exit'.
'Ende september wird sein die letzte ausfahrt'. Maybe the grammar is wrong here
whenever you love death more than anything in your life . when you are ready to dance to death
LetzteAusfahrt
Swiss gay, will definitely ctb on October 10th
- Jun 27, 2020
- 590
Oups, almost overlooked.
Absolutely correct except for the grammar.
At the end of September I will take the last exit on my highway of life.
leiche
i need a cigarette
- Aug 19, 2020
- 196
i knew it when i left a mental house diagnosed with disorder. in my country it equals death because 99% of jobs are forbidden for people like me
_Minsk
death: the cure for life
- Dec 9, 2019
- 1,109
at some point in my teenager years i started feeling that way. not just out of the blue but due to way too much crap, which im still dealing with today. it basically robbed my life of anything pleasurable, what way of existing is this:C..
mathieu
Enlightened
- Jun 5, 2019
- 1,090
Dima2
Member
- Jul 24, 2020
- 56
catsarecool
Remember me for me, I need to set my spirit free
- Jul 2, 2020
- 95
I got extremely drunk and suicidal at one point a month or two ago. I figured that the feeling would dissipate when I sobered up and slept. They didn't but I got like a sense of certainty and serenity instead.
I was ready when I was 13/14yrs old and I've been ready on the numerous occasions that I've totally burnt out since then. I'm ready right now. Just waiting for the means to do it.
valentine
Student
- Apr 2, 2019
- 101
Got drunk last night and realized what a mess I am and how much I hurt everyone. It just finally clicked I guess. The idea of staying alive is scarier than the idea of dying.
I made the final preparations a few days ago ... I'm ready for the 18th September or 21th December! :-)
What you mean if you've suffered with mental health problem you basically won't be able to get a job?
That's horrendous.
leiche
i need a cigarette
- Aug 19, 2020
- 196
IBreathButNoMoreLive
My Time Is Up
- Aug 20, 2020
- 47
I knew I lost the ability to feel anything anymore .... when I was done with by my family ... left alone... I no longer connected with the world I knew I didn't belong in this world anymore my time is up ...
I am still on meds but they are doing nothing hence my name ... I believe my mind has shutdown and I am only living for my dogs atm I have lived in my mind in my childhood for the past 6 months where I was happiest with my parents who I believe I will see again when I CTB
I am still on meds but they are doing nothing hence my name ... I believe my mind has shutdown and I am only living for my dogs atm I have lived in my mind in my childhood for the past 6 months where I was happiest with my parents who I believe I will see again when I CTB
