Venting When brain fight to make life more harder

[Varstraben]

Hello, for 1 month I'm suffering from dizziness, strong headache, tinnitus and whistling.
Doc said that it could be only the stress and anxiety because I'm 26 so too young for serious disease, but none of drugs he gives me help, I feel dizzy all day and night.
I went to the another doc to find out why my brain fight to make my life more harder, seen some specialist in ears, eyes and blood, and I'm waiting for others medical appointment, but for now no good result or any tips.

Maybe is due to stress, but relaxing or running outside don't help at all, and it start to cost a lot now. I'm waiting for a cerebral mri (I don't know the english word, but it's a scan of the brain with kind of radio waves), but I don't have much hope.
I've already tried medication, drugs, alcohol and other relaxing lesson, nothing helped it.

Now some random things are added to it, sometime I'm sweating randomly without heat, at the moment I just can't feel my left hand, like when you sit too long on the toilet but without standing in the same position,
I have random discomfot without reason and fall with short unconscious times, waking up some minutes or hours at random places for no reasons and without special requirement before it happen. Maybe because I'm tired of these dizziness.

I ever told to myself that I will keep my promise and don't let my mother to bury before her. But in these conditions, if the situation doesn't change, I will not be able to work anymore and maybe lost my job.
I will try to wait for the cerebral mri, it should happen the 5th november, but while these events appear when I'm already in a suicidal mood, it doesn't help at all.

Rope is already tied, so if I can't hold it anymore I will go for partial hanging.

 

[Silvermorning]

keep us updated on the MRI, sorry for your pain, maybe its stress, try to make things that relax you, if possible , while you wait for the results

 

[Varstraben]

update : I have done some test on inner ear, everything look fine, some hearing test, I can hear most of frequencies human can (I have a perfect pitch so no doubt about that). Waiting for MRI but I think it will not change anything. It could be due to stress, a doctor think about vestibular headache, but medication don't help at all. I have tried some alternative medicine like high amount of alcohol, it help a lot, maybe I have dizziness but with alcohol I don't care about it.

I have tried a little the partial hanging, but I'm not sure the support will carry my weight (I have heard sound that make me think that on the structure), so I didn't go into it completely (well technically I wouldn't post a reply if it was). I take sometime a medication called "tercian", I wonder if it could be deadly at high dosage. Btw if it's due to stress, that mean I have to quit my job, but I can't at the moment, it's not a good time to change job...

With the new lockdown in France, I'm able to drink alcohol while working, I'm used to code with alcohol so it don't affect my skills, but it cost a lot..

I'm still having strong headache and dizziness randomly, it's hard to life and cost me almost 900€ in less of a month in medical tests, it will be refunded partially (around 60%) by health system of my country but I have to lend money before it be refunded, and some of them are not.

I don't know why I keep spending money for something I know it wont really change, I should kill myself to let my familly get some money that they need after my death, but I don't know why I'm still alive at the moment. If it's due to stress like I think, it will not change, I can't really fight this, doing yoga or sport don't really helped me in the past.

I don't know what to do right now.

 

[Deleted member 94]

Some conditions you describe are lot like b12 deficiency, do your arms and legs fall asleep, do you get brain fog and sometimes repeat what you said a couple of minutes ago. Simple blood test for that if it is that.

 

[Spitfire]

I am just curious if they have tried putting you on a prescription of any of the these three benzodiazepines?

Benzodiazepines are GABA modulators, acting centrally to suppress vestibular responses. Low doses of diazepam (Valium) (2 mg) can be quite effective for dizziness. Clonazepam (Klonopin), is as effective a vestibular suppressant as lorazepam (Ganaca et al, 2002).

Alcohol helps your dizziness? Maybe a low dose benzodiazepine may help too? These drugs are much more restricted nowadays, and addiction, etc... So, maybe it has not yet been tried?

IV diazepam given to people with vertigo can sometimes greatly improve their symptoms.

 

[emphasis]

I've recently started getting tinnitus, if fucking sucks. I really feel for you dude

 

[Varstraben]

Some conditions you describe are lot like b12 deficiency, do your arms and legs fall asleep, do you get brain fog and sometimes repeat what you said a couple of minutes ago. Simple blood test for that if it is that.

I have already done a blood test, blood platelet are low but enough, nothing about lack of vitamin.

I am just curious if they have tried putting you on a prescription of any of the these three benzodiazepines?

Benzodiazepines are GABA modulators, acting centrally to suppress vestibular responses. Low doses of diazepam (Valium) (2 mg) can be quite effective for dizziness. Clonazepam (Klonopin), is as effective a vestibular suppressant as lorazepam (Ganaca et al, 2002).

Alcohol helps your dizziness? Maybe a low dose benzodiazepine may help too? These drugs are much more restricted nowadays, and addiction, etc... So, maybe it has not yet been tried?

IV diazepam given to people with vertigo can sometimes greatly improve their symptoms.

They give me Betahistine, it not really help but tercian is better, it's more powerfull than benzodiazepines but with some secondary effect that make me unable to do my job with it, so I take it only when I don't work. Tercian is too strong, when I take it it's like anything can happen, I don't care about, so for important work it's not a good thing.

 

[Caspers]

I'm not certain whether this is available outside the UK, but maybe there's a chance you could get some answers with this company? I'm planning on getting some of their tests. Here's the link; Myogenes Link

If it's not available in your country, maybe see if there is something similar available? I hope you find something that works

 

[Spitfire]

I have already done a blood test, blood platelet are low but enough, nothing about lack of vitamin.



They give me Betahistine, it not really help but tercian is better, it's more powerfull than benzodiazepines but with some secondary effect that make me unable to do my job with it, so I take it only when I don't work. Tercian is too strong, when I take it it's like anything can happen, I don't care about, so for important work it's not a good thing.

One is an antipsychotic medication and the other is a histamine analog.

Diazepam, lorazepam, and clonazepam are the three benzodiazepine medicines that help people who have dizziness and vertigo. Have they ever prescribed any of these three to help you? If they have not, then they should.. in my professional opinion.

Have you ever been in a hospital setting complaining of having severe dizziness and vertigo symptoms, and what did they do for you? Did they ever put in an IV and give you a dose of diazepam or lorazepam?

They can perform certain testing procedures before, and then after administration of these IV medications, to see if there is any observable improvement in the symptoms for you if they understand what they are doing...

It does not sound like these medicines have been tested on you?

 

[Varstraben]

I'm not certain whether this is available outside the UK, but maybe there's a chance you could get some answers with this company? I'm planning on getting some of their tests. Here's the link; Myogenes Link

If it's not available in your country, maybe see if there is something similar available? I hope you find something that works

With the french health care, I'm not sure that's working with a non-french system, and if it's caused by stress, maybe calling labs like them is a little overpower no. I keep the link in my fav just in case, thank you.

One is an antipsychotic medication and the other is a histamine analog.

Diazepam, lorazepam, and clonazepam are the three benzodiazepine medicines that help people who have dizziness and vertigo. Have they ever prescribed any of these three to help you? If they have not, then they should.. in my professional opinion.

Have you ever been in a hospital setting complaining of having severe dizziness and vertigo symptoms, and what did they do for you? Did they ever put in an IV and give you a dose of diazepam or lorazepam?

They can perform certain testing procedures before, and then after administration of these IV medications, to see if there is any observable improvement in the symptoms for you if they understand what they are doing...

It does not sound like these medicines have been tested on you?

Maybe they have another name here, but I never heard about these medications or something having these molecules in my actual medicine. I will ask to my doctor next time I see him to try it, thank for the advise.
I don't been in a hospital for this, and I'm avoiding hospital as much as possible, I don't like places like that, especially in these times...

 

[Varstraben]

Situation goes wrong every day, my job add pressure on me, MRI not helped at all, and headache and dizziness increased. Sure it's due to stress now, but I can't fight it anymore. I'm going to try partial hanging now, with all doubt I have with the hanger bracket (the think I am supposed to suspend on it, I don't know the English word) but I can't bear with it anymore.

If I'm not back in the 48h, consider I'm dead and delete my account.

 

[Varstraben]

Well, another fail to add to my list.
Positive thing, that with all resources I found, it wasn't painful like the first time I attempted something like this. I have managed to not have pain on the throat this time by position and using a smooth rope, and that was the error.
The support have carried my weight and I've passed out, for how long I don't know, but I have wake up on the ground today waked up by my phone, my boss and customer called me a lot of times.
The rope don't break, but it was too smooth that it slides down, I have forgot to attach the other part I think. Now I feel strange, I feel my skin tingling and it's hard to think clearly.
The only think I remember is the pleasant feeling at the beginning, my headache and dizziness was gone for a time, and now I feel like if I'm not here, no pain, but tingling and my body feel lighter, I can't explain.

My boss think I have missed the alarm clock, so maybe I will get warned for this and maybe fired in the future, but I just don't care, without talking about the tingling feeling I feel so good right now, I feel light and relaxed.

Smooth rope was not a good idea to reach the end, or I should have to be more careful about the fact it will slide down like this, but it was pleasant feelings.

I think I will try again like this if dizziness and headache get back like before, but for now I'm happy, maybe I'm not dead yet, but just don't give a damn to anything and feel light like this is very pleasant.

I will stop complaining here, there is no reason to continue, I needed to vent a little first, but now when I read it back I just look like a child in a complain circus.