gonegirl1
Student
- Oct 12, 2023
- 101
I tried to do this in the past, also with family, and they all kinda started avoiding touching the subject. What's your experience (if u had one)?
tiger b
AI without the I
- Oct 24, 2023
- 1,236
m_account
Member
- Oct 21, 2023
- 18
We got used to it and I casually talk about it everyday with him. No backlash. It got to the point where we even joke about it.
gonegirl1
Student
- Oct 12, 2023
- 101
Is your friend also suicidal, if you don't mind me asking? Because i find it hard for people who are not to understand
supergip
A strange person.
- May 13, 2023
- 72
I never said it seriously, just as a joke, it's always been easier for me to say serious things that way. I was drowned from social networks for 3 days, an old friend of mine came to my house. So probably they should believe I want CTB.
m_account
Member
- Oct 21, 2023
- 18
I wouldn't say that he's suicidal. After I told him the current situation I am in and nothing good will come out of it realistically, he seems to understand my viewpoint.
gonegirl1
Student
- Oct 12, 2023
- 101
I understand u :( I had a similar situation happen to me but I couldn't tell them how I was truly feeling
Thats nice to hear
People freak out. They don't know how to handle it.
So much is spent telling depressed people to reach out for help. What's the point when those around us don't know how to help? Public awareness should be focused on teaching how to give help, not telling people to ask for help.
So much is spent telling depressed people to reach out for help. What's the point when those around us don't know how to help? Public awareness should be focused on teaching how to give help, not telling people to ask for help.
princexhhn
call me prince
- Sep 26, 2023
- 109
ive told two of my friends. one is my closest friend, basically family bond. second is my best friend (even though they both are). i love them both.
when i told my closest friend, she did everything in her power to try and convince me to stay alive, to try and keep me here. i know most users on here would have a negative reaction to that lol, but personally i understand her and she is my loved one, so the feeling evoked more like broke my heart. she stayed up with me all night once just to make sure i was safe. i appreciate her and everything that she does for me. she is one of the people that i try and get better for. seeing how upset she was that i was so adamant on ctb made me cry. on tuesday, i am going out with her and shes gonna buy me some new makeup as agreement that if i dont ctb she will buy me makeup^-^
it really breaks my heart, i wish i wasnt so sick so i wouldnt have to do that to her.
when i told my best friend, they just accepted it. they know how much i suffer on this earth, so they dont want to stop me if i really want to ctb. they dont love me any less, and im sure they will miss me when im gone, they said they wish they can stop me but ultimately if my suffering is too much to bear and i have decided then its my choice and all they can do is accept it.
both have been by my side through ups and downs. ive known them for years, and really hate that id have to leave them on this earth one day.
when i told my closest friend, she did everything in her power to try and convince me to stay alive, to try and keep me here. i know most users on here would have a negative reaction to that lol, but personally i understand her and she is my loved one, so the feeling evoked more like broke my heart. she stayed up with me all night once just to make sure i was safe. i appreciate her and everything that she does for me. she is one of the people that i try and get better for. seeing how upset she was that i was so adamant on ctb made me cry. on tuesday, i am going out with her and shes gonna buy me some new makeup as agreement that if i dont ctb she will buy me makeup^-^
it really breaks my heart, i wish i wasnt so sick so i wouldnt have to do that to her.
when i told my best friend, they just accepted it. they know how much i suffer on this earth, so they dont want to stop me if i really want to ctb. they dont love me any less, and im sure they will miss me when im gone, they said they wish they can stop me but ultimately if my suffering is too much to bear and i have decided then its my choice and all they can do is accept it.
both have been by my side through ups and downs. ive known them for years, and really hate that id have to leave them on this earth one day.
gonegirl1
Student
- Oct 12, 2023
- 101
It makes me so happy to read that :')
Gives me the courage to tell my friends and stop hiding. Maybe they could help me.
I'm not particularly worried about people freaking out per say, but I'm more worried that telling people would decrease my chances of success. If it did get out beyond my friends it would fuck my life though.
That is the solution to this, having a strong support system, this is your system it might someone allow you to completely come out of your situation. I did had this connection online with someone with whom I shared almost everything regarding my mental health and I didn't knew this person, talked with this person for a year and in my moments of extreme downtime, this person was online and helped me go through this. It is been a month and no response from this person, I hope whoever it was, they should be fine but mentally, I feel locked up now, as I can't talk about it when I am in those episodes. You are extremely lucky to have supportive people around you.
princexhhn
call me prince
- Sep 26, 2023
- 109
i am very grateful for the support system i have, but there are still many many things in my life out of my control that a supportive friend wont be able to help me with.
am sorry to hear that. if you ever need it, my dms are open. you dont have to of course, but it is always open for anybody and i will listen.
twatingthroughlife
I don't know what I'm doing
- Sep 29, 2023
- 64
I had a similar experience yesterday with a group of friends. They actually tried to help me before and got me through an immense breakdown. But yesterday I seriously told them that nothing would be able to change my mind or my plans. I told them how I felt about the fact that I'm forced to live and not allowed to rest and I was shocked when they understood. They said so many beautiful things and they accepted it was my decision and that it would be selfish to keep me here. They said they loved me. I was truly amazed that these people, who are not suicidal, got it. I'm so grateful I met them. Before, my only experience with it had been avoidance of the subject. They said I can't die and then avoid the subject as much as possible, and if necessary, they ignore me.
𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗹𝘆
Deeming that I were better dead
- Oct 28, 2023
- 197
Whenever I'm in a low my family just attacks me for it, they say I'm ungrateful and bitchy without asking if anything is wrong. I don't think I would ever tell them that I'm depressed let alone that I have suicidal thoughts. As for friends, I have only 1 irl friend which for some reason I'm scared to tell about my feelings. I did once and she just suggested me to go to therapy and never touched that subject again, I think I just made her uncomfortable. I have some online friends but whenever I feel bad they just disappear. So yeah, I don't really even have anyone that I could tell about my feelings / no1 would want to listen. That's how I ended up here.
gonegirl1
Student
- Oct 12, 2023
- 101
Im so so happy for you!
Im so sorry to hear that. In my experience, people avoiding the subject or distancing themselves doesn't necessarily mean they don't care about you or don't love you. Maybe they are just scared and don't know how to deal with the situation, which is what I like to think happened in my case. Even if people don't understand, it could be a huge relief and help to just tell someone. Even if it's just to take the weight off your shoulders of dealing with this alone. You don't have to explicitly mention you're suicidal because that can scare some people, but maybe just try to talk to your friend about how low you have been feeling, im sure they will be there for you.
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I 100% agree with this, the appalling lack of ability to handle such a topic in a discussion is clear as day in society.
See now this is the wholeness and honesty of friendship that is extremely rare that I can get behind. I personally wouldn't trust myself to tell anyone even if I had friends, I did tell a friend of mine once years ago about my ideation and when I self-harmed but we've become strangers since, all of that wiped away thanks to time so now without any close relations such as friends, nothing is holding me back in any regard of wanting to tell someone about it.
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cryvinglightning
it gets worse before it gets better.
- Oct 27, 2023
- 102
my mom told me she'd gladly help me CTB, like send me to switzerland to a euthanasia clinic lol. my best friend has tried to be supportive, but he has his problems too, so i don't expect him to handle my own.
exiled
i gave so many signs
- Jun 17, 2023
- 294
Oddly, I've only ever had extreme reactions from both sides. I actually have a fair amount of pro-choice friends who have offered to CTB with me because they were wanting out, too. My childhood best friend asked me, and then ended up going solo. That's actually how I found out about SaSu. The other extreme - I've had a friend call the police for a wellness check on me after simply talking about my thoughts, and I've had people "cut me off" as a friend because they were too overwhelmed to deal with the thought of maybe one day receiving a phone call that I'm dead.
Suicide will rarely, if ever, bring a neutral response. The world is so terrified of that word, or is so deeply connected to that word, that there isn't really an in between. I wish it was normalized to just talk about it in a safer setting. I just want to talk to someone about how I am feeling without a reaction, rather listening ears + understanding.
Suicide will rarely, if ever, bring a neutral response. The world is so terrified of that word, or is so deeply connected to that word, that there isn't really an in between. I wish it was normalized to just talk about it in a safer setting. I just want to talk to someone about how I am feeling without a reaction, rather listening ears + understanding.
pompompurin
girls like us are rotten to the core
- Apr 27, 2023
- 155
Well, I told my only friend about my suicidal ideation and he listened to me and comforted me, it doesn't really come in our conversations normally but whenever he sees me acting a bit differently he asks me if im alright and generally tries to help me however he can. I'm very grateful for him.
cheese.out
Why am I still here
- Jul 25, 2023
- 203
I told my best friend about it years ago and he was (and still is) very supportive and he was also the one who "saved" me from my last ctb attempt. Since my attempt my family also know about it and they are all very overprotective but also very supportive.
Is this the friend you mentioned that used SN and thus led you here? Correct me if I'm wrong.
I suppose that response from your friend calling the police for wellness simply after conveying ur thoughts and then having people cut you off because they were too overwhelmed with the idea of receiving the news of your death someday.
It's these extreme responses that make me keep my mouth well and truly shut because we don't live in a world where discussions around ctb will be open and without action taken like in your instance.
exiled
i gave so many signs
- Jun 17, 2023
- 294
Yes, the one that used SN and led me here is the friend that had asked me if I would ever partner with her. I repeatedly declined, of course, because I wasn't ready. So, before she finally ended her life, she did not even tell me it was on her mind. We went to the park a few days before and chatted, and I was completely unsuspecting. I think that's why I am particularly sensitive to everything that happened.
Absolutely understandable, I'd be absolutely hurt if a friend didn't tell me anything at all about their plans to ctb especially since you both shared thoughts about it.
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exiled
i gave so many signs
- Jun 17, 2023
- 294
This is exactly where I was coming from in some of my posts venting about it all. Of course I am on here so I clearly do not support the pro-life movement so many people outside of here seem to have. But I am human and I cannot hide the emotions that come with losing a dear friend. I think two things can be true: being at peace that she is in eternal rest now, and being at total war with myself wishing that never had to be the case.
I have noticed that from you, you did lose dear friend after all, so those are valid reasons to feel the way you do, being at peace that she is in eternal rest now, and yet being at total war with yourself wishing that it had never been the case. In your shoes, I'd be feeling the exact same no doubt.
I also don't think it's pro-life of you at all, you are just expressing how you feel sometimes.
gonegirl1
Student
- Oct 12, 2023
- 101
Is that even possible? If you don't live there
wildflowers1996
Arcanist
- Oct 14, 2023
- 466
I could never tell my family but I tried telling friends
They didn't care at all and it hurt so much
They didn't care at all and it hurt so much
gonegirl1
Student
- Oct 12, 2023
- 101
reallysleepy
She/her
- Oct 25, 2023
- 108
This is also how I feel. My close family and my friends know I want to ctb because I tried and failed like a month ago. Now they are all scared and making sure I don't scape or anything.
I try to look not suicidal in front of everyone (specially in front of my psychiatrist). I now only speak this subject with my boyfriend when he's being really intense about it. He says to me that I shouldn't leave him and that I would break his heart and that maybe I need to go to the psychiatric clinic. He made me promise I wouldn't ctb for another 6 months after I confesed I still want to do it.
I just feel that I can't talk about what I'm really going through because everyone would just try to "help me" and make me feel guilty for leaving them. I have friend and family that love me but it's still a really lonely path.
