what's your 'cut off point'

[lotus11]

Personally I have been struggling with unhappiness for many years.
I have been a member of this site for over a year.
At the beginning of this year, I purchased SN.

Now...of course of many reasons killing yourself is very very difficult. Even if your life is horrible. I originally wanted to die when I was 27 (last year, I am currently 28). But the survival instinct is strong and there are a couple 'what ifs' holding me back. Now, although depending on how bad things are I could and may well decide to go any time, my current 'cut off point', is 37 years old. If by them I do not manage to have enough in my life to keep me living...a partner, children, a job a livable salary. These type of things which I do not currently have. I do not feel like I will continue with my life. I feel as though 37 is a pretty reasonable age which if you don't have some of these things by then it's probably getting too late, and I personally don't intend to plod along in an existance with nothing good in it.

What is your 'cut off point" and why?

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I can relate to alot of what you've said. But my "cutoff" point isn't as far into the future as yours.

Even if things do improve and I survive past this cutoff point CTB is inevitable for me. Once my quality of life reaches a certain point I'm peacing out.

 

[thereandgone]

Currently 29, so 44 years old. I figure my one-year-old dog will die naturally by then and I will have given her a decent if not good life. Never intended on living past 40 (or even 30), but the timing worked out awkwardly. I was compelled to do something worthwhile before I went and did not have enough money to bequeath to all of those I wanted to give something to.

I think you have a solid and realistic cutoff point.

 

[DeadButDreaming]

The next 5 years, but because my mental illness is is increasing severity it could be as soon as this month.

 

[Sinai Silence]

My cut off point doesn't have a specific time scale or date, just when the people I care about leave. Shouldn't be too long, if it is then I'll have to rethink it.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I'm not making a date for it because what's the point? I can kill myself whenever I want, there's no rush.

 

[4eyebiped]

Had I not met anyone by my birthday this year, I was going to start selling off everything and then go travel, explore and attempt to experience some form of joy. Once I ran out of money, I would then enter permanent sleep. Life came up and kicked me in my fragile nutsack and said, nope, your plans are denied! COVID-19 destroyed my plans on many fronts. I can't imagine next year is going to be a good year for selling anything of value either. Life is one of the greatest dark comedies ever! Well, only funny to those from the outside...

 

[Joey]

30 at the earliest and 50 at the latest. We'll see how life plays out.

 

[mediocre]

I've been wanting to ctb at 27 as well but I'm currently looking for solutions to my health issues. I really don't want to turn 28 at the end of the year. My absolute cut off would be 30. But ideally before the end of this year.

 

[so tired or manic]

my cut-off point will continue to be 14. I'm 31 now and honestly have no idea how I'm still alive. at this point it's just going with the flow.

 

[nerve]

If I really can't get my shit together, I don't imagine making it to 30. Even if I do, life would have to be pretty fucking stellar for me to then make it to 40, 50, etc.

I can't help but keep track of how many days it is till my 30th birthday since I know I'll likely ctb before that point and not have to struggle anymore. A little over 1500 days left!