“What’s wrong with you” I might CTB tonight if I have the balls

[trying ungracefully]

I am not even going to type much. I can't handle this. I self harmed again and it bled through my only clean pants because I haven't washed clothes in a month.

I have a scarf and I will try partial hanging. There's a lot wrong with me and I've been seeing my decline for a while. I've tried recovery and it worked a bit but there's something wrong with me fundamentally.

 

[accountnamerequired]

I relate heavily, health issues are a big part of the problem for me too. Constant decline, even the doctors note said so

 

[jengablocks]

"Ok"

exploding this person with my mind right now. i hate phrases like "what's wrong with u" because it's not a genuine question, like they're not actually asking for a list of diagnoses, it's literally just shaming you for being disabled

the sense of having something fundamentally wrong with u is incredibly relatable, it took me like 10 years of continuous willing participation recovery to even get the right diagnosis in the first place to make that subside.

still, i don't wanna invalidate that feeling at all, it's real and a lived experience. but this person knows nothing and is nothing, please don't let them be the trigger for this. if recovery worked for a bit, even at all, maybe u could consider engaging with it again in some way? i know it's not perfect.

im sorry. sending love...

 

[trying ungracefully]

"Ok"

exploding this person with my mind right now. i hate phrases like "what's wrong with u" because it's not a genuine question, like they're not actually asking for a list of diagnoses, it's literally just shaming you for being disabled

the sense of having something fundamentally wrong with u is incredibly relatable, it took me like 10 years of continuous willing participation recovery to even get the right diagnosis in the first place to make that subside.

still, i don't wanna invalidate that feeling at all, it's real and a lived experience. but this person knows nothing and is nothing, please don't let them be the trigger for this. if recovery worked for a bit, even at all, maybe u could consider engaging with it again in some way? i know it's not perfect.

im sorry. sending love...

Yeah he said he didn't mean it because I push him to say things and I mean I do spam shitty thoughts when I'm upset with him because I can't control it.

And it's like I don't want someone to be a trigger for suicide but it's so strong. It's a battle.

Thank you <3

 

[orpheus_]

i hate phrases like "what's wrong with u" because it's not a genuine question, like they're not actually asking for a list of diagnoses, it's literally just shaming you for being disabled

seconding this.
It's honestly a shit thing to say to someone. The fact that you have problems doesn't mean you're inherently a worse person or something, though it must all be hard for you.. I'm sorry you were told something like this, I'd say don't make sudden decisions now, try to get some rest. Yeah I know it's not easy but I really hope that you will not make a wrong decision because of what someone has said. Obviously your life is yours, just saying... Please take care if yourself.