Venting What's wrong with my mom?

[K9TOOTH]

I just want to understand what exactly is her problem. I have no idea why she acts the way she does. It doesn't even seem like I can apply a mental illness to her. I'd hate to label her as "insane" or "crazy" cause that's just dumbing it down and I don't believe it's true. All I know is that she and my dad have bipolar. Although they're nothing alike but I don't expect them too be. Everyone experiences mental illness differently. She didn't start acting like till around 2022. She got really physical with me. I remember just sitting against my front door and she slapped my head. She screamed at me a lot, she was always angry at me. I know why at that time it was because I didn't go to school and yeah that was my fault but I was still severely depressed. Not a day did death not cross my mind.

Back in 2023, she started acting worse. There was an incident where she tried to hit me and I called her a bad mom and she started crying. There was another incident in '22 where she asked if she was a bad mother. I didn't respond and she started silently crying. She started abusing adderall recently as well. My father tells me whenever I'm away they never argue but when me and my siblings are there she'll argue. There was 5 days when I heard nothing but non-stop screaming and crying for my mom and before anyone asks if my dad's hurting her. No, he isn't. Not from what I've seen and I've seen her scream "get off me" or "call the police" while he's just standing there. One day an argument went on for 4-5 hours. How the hell does she not get tired? She knows I'm mentally ill and the way she acts doesn't make me feel better. She saw my cuts and said she wants me to grow older. I'll wake up and cry because all I hear is her screaming. She's jumped out of cars and chased me down streets. She'll have these random breakdowns saying "you don't love me" or "you're turning the kids against me" too my dad when he's not doing anything and I know he's not doing anything cause it's always in the morning when we just woke up.


It probably isn't serious too most people but I hate her and I hope she dies. My brain feels like it's on fire whenever I'm around her. It's hard to rest. In every situation she has to be a victim. I'll get an apology from her but it'll come with a justification for her actions. She knows I don't like her. If she's so stuck on my dad "turning the kids against her" why doesn't she just take accountability and stop acting like this? Nothing I do means anything. I'm so lost. It's like she's trying to make my life worse on purpose. I'd rather be hit by her then hear her screaming I try to be away from her 24/7.

She'll stop acting like this when I stop existing

 

[EvisceratedJester]

It sounds like your mom is going through a severe manic episode or something. I don't think she is completely sound of mind but this only based on your description of her. While I understand that she has only started acting like this recently, has your relationship with her always been rocky or has it only just started becoming this way (since 2022)?

 

[K9TOOTH]

It sounds like your mom is going through a severe manic episode or something. I don't think she is completely sound of mind but this only based on your description of her. While I understand that she has only started acting like this recently, has your relationship with her always been rocky or has it only just started becoming this way (since 2022)?

No she just started acting like this in 2022.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

No she just started acting like this in 2022.

No, I mean your relationship. How was your relationship prior to then?

 

[K9TOOTH]

No, I mean your relationship. How was your relationship prior to then?

It was fine. I felt safe around her. She was never aggressive with me. Although me and my father had a closer relationship but she never had a problem with that.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

It was fine. I felt safe around her. She was never aggressive with me. Although me and my father had a closer relationship but she never had a problem with that.

Yeah, I don't think she is trying to make your life worse on purpose. I think she might be acting out because she isn't in a state where she can think straight and properly regulate her emotions. My dad has manic depression and while he never acted out to this extent, there have been a few occasions where he has said some pretty hurtful things to me and my brother in the past, including screaming at me and blaming me for him getting evicted back when I was 14. I don't think she hates you, rather you likely are just an unfortunate victim standing in her path of chaos. This isn't to say that you don't have a right to hate her, but she needs serious professional help.

 

[K9TOOTH]

Yeah, I don't think she is trying to make your life worse on purpose. I think she might be acting out because she isn't in a state where she can think straight and properly regulate her emotions. My dad has manic depression and while he never acted out to this extent, there have been a few occasions where he has said some pretty hurtful things to me and my brother in the past, including screaming at me and blaming me for him getting evicted back when I was 14. I don't think she hates you, rather you likely are just an unfortunate victim standing in her path of chaos. This isn't to say that you don't have a right to hate her, but she needs serious professional help.

I guess but every time I'm away she'll never argue with my dad. It's always when I'm there. I'm not sure why.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I guess but every time I'm away she'll never argue with my dad. It's always when I'm there. I'm not sure why.

Who knows.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Has she ever been tested for a UTI?

 

[K9TOOTH]

Has she ever been tested for a UTI?

Probably but I'm unsure.

 

[Iris Blue]

I'm so sorry you are going through all of that with your mom. In a way I can somewhat relate to a few things you said, although my mom never got physical with me there was quite a bit of emotional abuse. A whole lot of guilt tripping and trying to make me feel like I'm going crazy. I can't even count how many times she would also pull the "do you even love me" and "after everything I've done for you" phrases. Her and my dad divorced when I was younger and she would constantly talk shit to my older sister about him and whenever I'd try to confront her and stop her from talking like that she'd lie saying she never said those things and punish me. She would always favor my sister over me and didn't try to hide it, about a few years back I found out after her and my dad had an argument one time she wanted to divorce him and separate us and take my sister over me. Of course that probably would've been the best for me but it still hurts. Now that I'm older I am good with my boundaries especially since I no longer live with her. I do feel guilty when she tries to have a relationship but I can't seem to let go of the past.

Anyways, I just want you to know what you are going through is very serious and how you are feeling is very real and matters. If you ever want someone to talk to about it you are more than welcome to dm me only if you want. I wish you the very best and hope things get better for you.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Probably but I'm unsure.

Only brought it up bc my aunt was like your description of your mom when she had one. She'd lash out, even became violent right out of the blue. Normally, she was never like that. And she seemed to get them all the time. They just kept coming back. She'd take antibiotics and was good for a while, then get another one. Went on for years and years. She was like a different person when she had one. I think people taking certain types (certain psyche meds) of drugs are more likely to get them, also. Just a thought. I hope things get better for you and your family.