Help what’s wrong with me

[kindawannacrylol]

i planned to ctb today, in fact i'm meant to be doing it right now but now i'm having second thoughts, i know i want this but i don't know whether it's because i want my suffering to end or because i genuinely want to die or if those two things are the same?? it's probably just survival instinct putting all these thoughts into my head i've planned this for so long. i was so certain this is what i wanted. i know i deserve so much more than a future of suffering, taking my life now is a merciful ending for me, it's the kindest thing to do so i don't know why i'm confused

 

[Labean]

You need to sit down as calmly as possible in your state and sort out your feelings. Do not get attached to the dates that you have appointed. The calendar is long.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like the survival instinct. Even know we want to die, we are programmed to live and survive. It can be very difficult to ctb. If it was easier I would already be gone. I think personally I would only ctb if I was completely certain and had no doubts. Anyway, I wish you the best. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.