I am indeed young and already have my wannabe society norm life.
My own opinion of the question that hasn't changed from back when I was a kid, a teen to now even tho I'm fiancé and pregnant I definitely still imagine myself living my old life, alone, in a farm with a few animals far from the city.
30 is young, hence to me 60 is even young but there is tons of things to do in life then focusing on love, all this time can be use in our own self, learning about us, discovering the world and so much more, just with this tons of people could meet their person (or one of them) far more easier and faster than focusing on what they don't have
You're asking why everyone else doesn't choose to be single, when you yourself are not making that choice.
Does that make much sense at all to you?
You make the case, you romanticize it, yet you don't choose it for yourself, you don't abandon what you have (that many others do not obtain so soon or so easily), you just talk.
You can't call other people to an action that you won't perform yourself nor maintain yourself.
(Do I really need to spell out the old adage?)
Everyone focuses on what they don't have.
If you're hungry, all you're going to be able to think about is food.
(If any womxn come over here, don't hesitate to share your pov on the question if it applies to you)
Before anything yep I'm definitely young and no I have those despite thinking that being single is goal and yet still have my own pov and opinion of it, if feeling trigger sorry i guess but that's how I talk and I sure know it's ULTRA annoying lol
Don't misunderstand it's just a share pov/experience or even moral type of thing, nothing too deep
What's up with the majority of people being obsessed with that ?
I don't get how come someone can't appreciate being single, like seriously being single and taking care of yourself, having all the time in the world to work on your stuff, only giving a fuck about you is just AWESOME !
Nobody to care for, to think of, to have responsibilities for, to deal with their crazy habits, insecurities, dealing with the wrong person, having to explain yourself to that person, if you live with them having to simply deal with them 24/7 and so much more like jeez that shit is truly exhausting, I did appreciate and was single by choice before and it did me a whole lot of good that I sound like I could leave my man to be back to the single life lol
And then for the sex part I really don't understand neither, sex is the easiest thing to get on earth, even the least attractive person get pussy/dick so does tons of people with physical disabilities so why can't you ?
It's not like there isn't billionth of thots and especially male thots out there ? Tons of sex worker ? Tons of horny people ? Naturist places ? Sex beach ? Swinger clubs ? Tons of people as desperate as you ? Even getting someone far from your physical criteria and putting a damn bag on their face or closing your eyes the whole process ? Glory hole ffs ? Even making porn as male are just people that replied to an ads and there's no criteria for womxn when it is for amateur production. So why so hard when normally you should just go out and just get someone for the night ????
Genuinely asking cause never thought it was actually that hard for some people before I come here and I thought there was just different type of people, those that attract easily, the just middle and those with ugly ass personalities so that would be the reason of them not getting any pussy/dick and not for how their look since when it comes to sex, late at night, nobody gives a fuck about how the person look just boom and ciao
I'm unsure if you're trolling on some level, but I will choose to take you seriously.
Though I have to be honest, I'm not even sure I can decipher exactly what points you're trying to make, so clarify if need be.
What's with the majority of people being obsessed with what?
Love?
Sex?
I mean, the first should be self-explanatory in the sense that every human being usually desires to be cared for, thought of, given priority from time to time, listened to, heard, provided with affection, attention, and devotion..this and much else constitutes the typical definition of "love", although it varies and comes to us in different forms.
As for sex, your guess is as good as mine, I think I should probably be asking YOU that question considering you seem to have more experience in that area.
I don't have the desire to get involved in a sexual/romantic relationship, I have somewhat of an aversion to sex as far as actually participating in it, I have no interest to pursue the action. So I'm probably more confused as to its prevalence than most.
Obviously there is its use in procreation, which people ought to consider far more than they currently do.
And then there is the supposed agreement among the majority that sex is the utmost form of intimacy and provides a physical connection to further illuminate the emotional one (I obviously disagree, but I'm biased).
So that's that.
Should we maybe try to push the envelope and get society to put just as much emphasis on other types of relationships, intimacy building activities, and even the importance of catering to the individual self?
I think so, but good luck trying to convince anyone else.
Trust me, I've tried.
I don't understand why people cannot appreciate being single either, other than the fact that even if someone did prefer that, the rest of the world would never let them hear the end of it, we are taunted even by the things we could do without, sometimes even the fact that every OTHER person places importance on something, is enough for the lone wolf to be forced to place importance on it as well, else they risk further ostracism.
Also, as people get older, they couple up, they drift, they abandon all but their "other half", I don't agree with this domestic linearity but even the most stubborn of autonomous and independent people could be pushed to have to go searching for a companion, simply because all of their friends and family did the same, and subsequently left them with no one.
It's sort of like an "if you can't beat them, join them" narrative. (Peer pressure and disparaging of the single life, from those who are not single, is also a culprit. Same thing happens to virgins who are pushed to lose it.)
I mean, you said yourself that you are a fiancé and pregnant, you walked the same line you're imploring others to hop off of (or stop thinking about).
Why did
you walk that line? (Because it's probably not dissimilar to the reason everyone else does, or wants to.)
I would have to agree with some of your comments in your fifth(?) and sixth(?) paragraphs, many of which are things I have thought myself. However, you say that the single life did you such good, so why not leave your man? (Sorry bro)
But really, why not practice what you preach? What is the issue?
Certainly if the single life was truly better for you, you would have returned.
Perhaps you are planning to?
As for the notion that anyone could get sex, there may be some amount of truth to this, but you've omitted the level of difficultly from the equation, and the risk.
Most people, especially women, do not want to live off of groveling (or paying) for one night stands. This is extremely damaging. Even many men prefer to do it with the same partner on a regular basis, someone they are comfortable with, where there is mutual care involved.
Don't even get me started on the discourse about looks not mattering, because they do, and you damn well know they do.
Perhaps more than sex or money or anything else people often whine about.
They shouldn't matter, but I didn't create the rules of life as we know them, as of now, this is what we have to endure.
And in the context of sex, in the bedroom, where attraction is at the peak of requirement, things are no different.
Physically unattractive people will have a much harder time gaining a sexual partner, and an even more difficult time getting into a stable and loving relationship, of no fault of their own.
You are asking them to do things and accept scenarios that attractive-and similarly privileged-people would never be asked to attempt, and that is as rotten as any prejudice.
Same with the physical disabilities..sex will not be simple, easy, or afforded to them in the same manner that it is for others (except, ironically, if their looks outweigh their disability).
You say they can obtain love and sex so "why can't you?"...but you don't belong to the exemplified categories you outline, so you really cannot speak on it accurately.
You have no idea what these people go through to get even an ounce of what other people take for granted every single day, you cannot fathom it, you're just relying on a one-note vantage point, your own perception of lives you do not lead, and perhaps throwing in a bit of wishful thinking as well.
All the possible avenues of sex you list are not some one-stop shop around the block,
you also suggest something as cruel and dehumanizing as putting a bag over an unattractive person's face..when you previously wondered why such people have a hard time acquiring sex and/or love.
Well, people like you are the reason why, and sadly you are most people.
I'm not sure what you mean by "criteria", do you mean to be a sex-worker in porn, or to be involved with a sex-worker?
Because the former absolutely does have criteria. Unless you can make bank off some esoteric fetish or making a fool out of yourself via self-humiliation that others get off on, you usually always need to be attractive to get the coin rolling in.
There is a reason certain women (and some men) are more successful on platforms such as OF. There is a reason that those who critique the use of OF (for both patron and host) are often chided with comments like "Lol, you just too ugly to have an OF, that's why you mad! Tehehe~", because there is more than an ounce of truth to the idea that better looking people out perform the rest, simply by being better looking.
(Tangent incoming) It's part of the reason why I don't even consider OF to be a home to real sex-workers (you know, people who actually HAVE sex to pay their bills, the prostitutes that had to risk their lives and bodies out in the street just to put food on the table, the ones who are too beaten down to even do well on something like OF) it's mostly just a bunch of lazy, immature girls who are too stupid (or too caught up in themselves and their naked bodies) to realize that their "content" is not going to remain behind their pay wall, and that there is nothing respectable or 'hard working' about what they are doing.
'Little Lessa wanted $500 for feet pics and a couple more for videos of her t*ts and @ss, meanwhile the run-down mother of 3 around the corner who can't compete with the 2am cam girl sipping bubble tea on her stomach, is forced to work part time at multiple fast food joints until her ankles snap and Covid (via customer) kills her.'
You see what I'm saying?
Life is not the same, nor fair for every human being, opportunities are not handed out equally, love and sex are no different, and when you're kept from something, when you're told you're not good enough to have it in the same way everyone else does, well sometimes you may just start wanting it even more, needing it, it's no wonder people are obsessed. There are multiple angles contributing to this obsession.
You never thought it was that hard for people, because it was never that hard for you. You ate the cake, now you're full, you've had your taste and you're satisfied enough to wonder about life without another slice.
But what if you had never had it?
That unfulfilled desire could keep you up at night. That locked door that simply must be broken through.
Go back, put yourself in another person's shoes.
If an asexual lunatic like me can consider the valid reasons as to why others feel the pull toward something I do not, then why can't you do the same? (As you so put the question yourself.)
Before you came here, you thought there were just different types of people..okay, well obviously, but if you're claiming to have never thought in terms of how the world values these different types of people, then you are being disingenuous (other comments you have made contradict that claim).
Variety does not simply exist for variety's sake, there are objective measures of certain characteristics of a person (namely physical in this context) that determine how they are thought of by others, and what they are offered in life.
It's a very cruel reality.
"Those that attract easily"-good looking
"The just middle" -plain looking
"Those with ugly ass personalities"- is this supposed to be some sort of euphemism for ugly people?
Because those categorizations you listed, in practice, have little to do with personality alone, or at all. So you left the unattractive out at the last bit.
They do exist, I think even you have established that much, so let's not play games and beat around the bush in the end.
But yes, people who are truly abhorrent in their personality will have a harder time at connecting with others on most levels, but they're also
some of the most successful people on the planet, and if they're attractive-even more to their favor, people will make excuses for their bad behavior and nasty attitude and won't even bat an eye at their obscene nature. (They would have to do something almost unanimously detested in order to be spurned by all, like a sexual crime against a child, especially if said child was murdered thereafter.)
In the end, I assure you that people
do care very much about how the other person looks.
Just ask your fiancé, late at night during your "boom and ciao".
