When I was about 28, I got my gf pregnant. We were already fighting a lot, and, I guess, the stress of the pregnancy just made things worse? Anyway, I got a house and moved her, along with her 2 kids from a previous relationship, in with me, and things just headed even more downhill from there. I got to learn more about her, her mothering abilities especially, and began to realize that I had made a big mistake, not only by getting her pregnant, but even being with her at all. She just didn't have the values I have. Anyway, I really started hoping (not praying since I'm atheist) that somehow she would lose the child, my child, that she was carrying. At the beginning of the 2nd trimester she did just that. I think the cosmos has punished me over the past 30 years. Maybe I've been punishing myself. Either way, it doesn't matter, as I deserved it.
Boy, can I hear all the hate words now. I doubt anyone can say anything that I haven't already said to myself daily over the past 30 years.
Is that what you were looking for, OP? Writing a book? IDC.