Discussion What’s the pro- and anti- argument for allowing loved ones to see activity on this site after successful CTB?

[its-about-time]

I'm curious what your thoughts are, and how your situation affects whether or not you want the people in your life to see/know about your activity on this site following a successful attempt.

For me, my desire to ctb doesn't come as a response to any particular person. I'm not hoping to hurt anyone or prove anything. Quite the opposite. I want the people who love me to understand why I left, and since they can't or wont understand while I'm alive, their best shot is to try to understand after I've gone. So, I don't really see any reason to hide my activity on this site from them. Hell, my username and password are written in my journal, lol.

Do you have strong opinions about those you leave behind seeing your posts here?

 

[ameliacecelia]

Only one family member knows that I'm rather close. They understand my decisionbut will still be sad. Friends and family formerly said they would support me if I got to the point where I was so sick I wanted to find a peaceful exit. When I tried to set a standard, like loss of bladder control, they said we'd cross that bridge when we got there which meant it was no longer up for discussion. I'd rather they not see my posts on here. I've been delaying my plans to make things easier for them in a few ways I wasn't going to previously, and I think that will just make them sadder. Everyone knows that I'm sick and suffering though and though they may be upset at how soon it will happen, they will understand my reasoning

 

[summers]

I'm curious what your thoughts are, and how your situation affects whether or not you want the people in your life to see/know about your activity on this site following a successful attempt.

For me, my desire to ctb doesn't come as a response to any particular person. I'm not hoping to hurt anyone or prove anything. Quite the opposite. I want the people who love me to understand why I left, and since they can't or wont understand while I'm alive, their best shot is to try to understand after I've gone. So, I don't really see any reason to hide my activity on this site from them. Hell, my username and password are written in my journal, lol.

Do you have strong opinions about those you leave behind seeing your posts here?

Don't do this - it will just be more ammunition against this site. You want to share your posts and experiences here, that's fine. But no reason to expose everyone else on this site.

You can copy the text of all your posts/threads and redact everyone else's info.

 

[piger]

I wouldn't leave any sort of evidence that would lead them here. I could see the argument that them seeing the posts could potentially provide some closure with insight into how much you've gone through, but there are a lot of things that I'm sure many people, possibly even you, wouldn't want their loved ones to know about on this site.

 

[its-about-time]

I wouldn't leave any sort of evidence that would lead them here. I could see the argument that them seeing the posts could potentially provide some closure with insight into how much you've gone through, but there are a lot of things that I'm sure many people, possibly even you, wouldn't want their loved ones to know about on this site.

That's a good point. I have a pretty big stomach for reading about failed attempts, the nitty gritty details of various methods, etc. I forget how unexposed many people (especially non-suicidal people) are to that kind of thing, and how traumatizing it in itself could be. Hmm.

I also look back on some advice I've shared with others in regards to details on how to ctb. I'm fine with loved ones knowing the ins and outs of my own misery and death, but I don't think I'd want them to know that I was giving others tips on how to not show warning signs to their own loved ones etc. For gods sake, I used to work in mental health. I think I need to readjust my own behaviors on here anyways because while what I've shared in that capacity is valid and realistic, it makes me feel… not right.

Thanks for the thought-provoking answer.