What's the point in living without her?

[xXiloveyouXx]

That brief time where I felt absolute connection and completeness and saw the world reflected in her eyes is gone. I'm alone again. And it can never come back. My happiness can never come back. Her pretty freckles, her beautiful smile, how she used to look up at me with her big curious eyes, it's all gone. How can I be happy again when I'm so isolated?

I'll never meet anyone so intelligent, so funny, who I was so in sync with, whose sense of humor was so close to my own. We used to get high and make art and get each other's opinions and feedback and it was some of the most fun I've ever had just being totally comfortable with another person. I thought of her as my sister. It's all over now, so I ask again, why live if nothing can ever compare to the intimacy I felt when we would hold each other? Is life just a dry lonely joke?

 

[11April]

I understand you very well. Only love makes sense.

 

[klantedklaw]

I feel you a lot.

My gf blocked me today on everything. I cant take living without her. Before I met her I wanted to die so badly - my suicidal idealation was so bad it was literally impossible to not think about wanting to die every 30 seconds. She was an angel sent from God to save me. I love her so much - she is the only person I've ever felt an "emotional click" with, everything felt so magnetic and natural. She's the only person that's ever understood me and my the only real friend I've ever had.

I look back on all the time we had together, it was the most fun I've had in my life. You're lucky you at least got to see your girlfriend, I never even got to see mine in person, although I tried my best. I'm jealous seeing you describe your girlfriends quirks, I wish I was able to see my girlfriends cute face in person and get know all her quirks too which you cant do through a screen.

I'm suffocating being without her, I cant stop crying every few minutes.

Breakups are hard, everyone I know who isn't even suicidal usually feels like killing themselves a little bit during most breakups. Perhaps you're the same as me and your gf was more than just a "gf" and someone you intertwined into your very being, someone who became a part of your soul and a reason for living. Before I met my gf I had no reason for living, everything felt so pointless, I was apathetic and didn't give a shit about anything. When I met her everything changed and I actually wanted to live, improve myself and felt so much joy envisioning a future together.

I know its only a matter of time until debilitating loneliness consumes me again and all the thoughts come back. Maybe the thoughts come back in a few days, weeks or maybe a few months; nethertheless I'm not going to be able to ednure being alone again for long so I know its only a matter of time until my time comes.