What’s the happiest moment in time you remember in your life?

[Taylor]

I remember mine was when I was 17, playing drums in a metalcore band with my bandmates/best friends at the time. I remember specifically one night after practice we were so tired out and sweaty, just chilling on my roof, laughing and talking about life and having a good time and just enjoying each other's company.

Another time shortly after that, was after the first show we ever played. I had this indescribable rush of happiness, fulfillment, and overall satisfaction with life as I was tearing down my drum kit backstage.

In both of those moments, everything just felt so perfect in my life, and I remember thinking to myself, "Man, I'm so happy right now."

 

[GeorgeEastman]

July 25, 2002

I caught a 5 pound bass. Back then, I loved to fish. That was the first time I caught one that big. Now I wouldn't go fishing for anything. I hate everything about fishing now, but back then I was very happy with it.

I've never been that happy about anything since and never will be again. Happiness is strictly forbidden at this point. I don't even trust anything good. So fucked in the head now that all I will accept is the worst.

 

[Taylor]

July 25, 2002

I caught a 5 pound bass. Back then, I loved to fish. That was the first time I caught one that big. Now I wouldn't go fishing for anything. I hate everything about fishing now, but back then I was very happy with it.

I've never been that happy about anything since and never will be again. Happiness is strictly forbidden at this point. I don't even trust anything good. So fucked in the head now that all I will accept is the worst.

Wow that's huge for a bass! Trust me I get it, I'm at the point where nothing in life is enjoyable for me either, but just reminiscing on the better times makes me so grateful I got to experience them in the first place, in this gift they call life. Nothing in life lasts forever, so moments like that really are precious. I really think that's where the beauty in life is, getting to experience and enjoy them before you can't anymore.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

I remember mine was when I was 17, playing drums in a metalcore band with my bandmates/best friends at the time. I remember specifically one night after practice we were so tired out and sweaty, just chilling on my roof, laughing and talking about life and having a good time and just enjoying each other's company.

Another time shortly after that, was after the first show we ever played. I had this indescribable rush of happiness, fulfillment, and overall satisfaction with life as I was tearing down my drum kit backstage.

In both of those moments, everything just felt so perfect in my life, and I remember thinking to myself, "Man, I'm so happy right now."

A lot is with my mom but I'll share a different one
An old friend of mine were making jokes to each other, nothing was off topic .We went from suicide, to dead babies, cancer and anything in between we hit, it was that silent crying laughter where you can barely breathe, the whole room was dead quiet but we couldn't stop pissing ourselves. We were on the floor folded over holding in our pee.
Another was with my current best friend where I made her try Vegemite raw from the bottle. She started audibly dry heaving and sprinted to the bathroom lmaoooooo. I have that on video too hahahahahahaha

 

[Roadkill]

My favorite time in life is from my youth... riding my minibike, bowling, golfing, playing football... I had so much fun as a kid.. also I was very happy when I took care of my elderly mother for 17 years.. we had such fun watching TV and talking... when she died in March 2017 is when my suicidal spiral began...I hope I can see her when I kill myself, I hope I am not dammed to an eternal hell

 

[John434]

Definitely before my Cancer, when my kids were born and not a care in the world

 

[Taylor]

A lot is with my mom but I'll share a different one
An old friend of mine were making jokes to each other, nothing was off topic .We went from suicide, to dead babies, cancer and anything in between we hit, it was that silent crying laughter where you can barely breathe, the whole room was dead quiet but we couldn't stop pissing ourselves. We were on the floor folded over holding in our pee.
Another was with my current best friend where I made her try Vegemite raw from the bottle. She started audibly dry heaving and sprinted to the bathroom lmaoooooo. I have that on video too hahahahahahaha

Hahaha that sounds hilarious! Laughing that hard is truly the greatest. I know I had my fair share of those moments in school and with my friends growing up.

 

[Taylor]

My favorite time in life is from my youth... riding my minibike, bowling, golfing, playing football... I had so much fun as a kid.. also I was very happy when I took care of my elderly mother for 17 years.. we had such fun watching TV and talking... when she died in March 2017 is when my suicidal spiral began...I hope I can see her when I kill myself, I hope I am not dammed to an eternal hell

I agree, I loved being a kid and a teenager. Those were some of the best times of my life.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Any of the Friday aftenoons after I got off the bus when I was a kid. I hated school and as soon as I stepped off that bus it was like I didn't have a care in the world. I've had happy times as an adult too, but thery're always clouded with stressors and responsibility hanging over my head.

 

[Taylor]

Any of the Friday aftenoons after I got off the bus when I was a kid. I hated school and as soon as I stepped off that bus it was like I didn't have a care in the world. I've had happy times as a adult too, but thery're always clouded with stressors and responsibility hanging over my head.

Ooh I remember those Friday afternoons! I absolutely hated school as well. I'm from Wisconsin too, so getting off the bus on Friday afternoon, as it was first starting to warm up again in Spring, was just the most freeing feeling ever.

 

[Kyrok]

I was happy for a couple weeks in 2004. I don't think I've ever been happy at any other time I can remember. It has instead just been degrees of unhappiness.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

When I was in college for sure. It was just a great time. Partially because of the person I was with and partially because I had not experienced the horrible abuse and health issues that would happen to me a few years later..so I was carefree and worry free. I still had potential and a life ahead of me back then.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Being a child I don´t have any specific memory but just being a child was so amazing.

 

[Livinginhell]

I honestly can't remember ever been happy. I hated my childhood, hated school, didn't have any friends and hated my home life too. I always thought when I grew up left home and school and became an adult everything would be great and I'd be happy but it never happened.

 

[SirChuxAlot]

When I turned 21 and could buy my first handgun. No seriously, it is sad I feel this way. Could care less about my other moments like my first kiss or relationship even though I was told I would always cherish them.
I am sure there are other times but I had a messed up childhood, so happiness was in small bouts only for depression to take it's course minutes later.

 

[Taylor]

When I turned 21 and could buy my first handgun. No seriously, it is sad I feel this way. Could care less about my other moments like my first kiss or relationship even though I was told I would always cherish them.
I am sure there are other times but I had a messed up childhood, so happiness was in small bouts only for depression to take it's course minutes later.

I mean at least you got to experience those moments though, even if you've had a lifetime of nothing but suffering, still getting to experience those moments as a living being on this planet is still pretty incredible you know?

 

[Taylor]

When I was in college for sure. It was just a great time. Partially because of the person I was with and partially because I had not experienced the horrible abuse and health issues that would happen to me a few years later..so I was carefree and worry free. I still had potential and a life ahead of me back then.

That's nearly identical to my life, just without the college part.

 

[justabouttobedone]

My early childhood was my only happy time. I grew up in a suburb of the biggest city of my country. We were poor but at least i had my books, a sega mega drive II, and 5 sibligs that were chatty and supportive. A couple of friends, a successful school life, playing with cheap things... Then everything changed and fucked as i grew up into an adolescent. All my friends were changed into a insincere and two faced disgusting creatures. They started to exclude me from their group, then my scores got lower over time, then our little family bussinnes bankrupt, and finally i found myself in severe depression and anxiety. Isolated myself and spent out hours on computer screen playing games. Fuck my life... Sorry for gramer mistakes tho

 

[iiii5555]

The non-existence before me being born is my only good "memory".

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

The last thing my mom said to me as she was dying was, "Finish school." I dedicated my dissertation to her. That was the only thing I thought important to finish that I was happy about. I've done nothing else I'm proud of or happy about. Not for lack of trying. If I can hold on for another couple of years, I'd like to adopt a rat. I think that will make me happy, too.

 

[dysfunctional]

Wow that's huge for a bass! Trust me I get it, I'm at the point where nothing in life is enjoyable for me either, but just reminiscing on the better times makes me so grateful I got to experience them in the first place, in this gift they call life. Nothing in life lasts forever, so moments like that really are precious. I really think that's where the beauty in life is, getting to experience and enjoy them before you can't anymore.

Man, at this point my whole life seems like a great memory before the major depression dropped a ton of bricks on me. But the highlights are all the times I skied the big mountains where I lived. I was a really active ski mountaineer for years- now nothings. Also countless days fishing,hiking, and climbjng alone or with good friends or special ladies.
I like your attitude on old memories- simply being able to enjoy and be greatful that yiu had them. I often allow the memories to torture me because I feel so far from them now, like another person had those experiences. I get angry at myself for not being that guy anymore. But I'm starting to accept that I have a severe illness and trying to start dealing with it instead of wishing it wasn't real.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

Early childhood New Years
It was magic

 

[Ineedapush]

Being a child imagining by myself outside or being with my grandma.

 

[Taylor]

Man, at this point my whole life seems like a great memory before the major depression dropped a ton of bricks on me. But the highlights are all the times I skied the big mountains where I lived. I was a really active ski mountaineer for years- now nothings. Also countless days fishing,hiking, and climbjng alone or with good friends or special ladies.
I like your attitude on old memories- simply being able to enjoy and be greatful that yiu had them. I often allow the memories to torture me because I feel so far from them now, like another person had those experiences. I get angry at myself for not being that guy anymore. But I'm starting to accept that I have a severe illness and trying to start dealing with it instead of wishing it wasn't real.

Thank you, that sounds like quite the life you had in those days! That's exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah, getting older and unable to the things you once loved before, due to the multitude of possible ailments we're susceptible to as humans sucks, be it illness (mental or physical), injury, etc. but without that, we would never have been able to experience them in the first place. I'm definitely resentful in the same aspect, jealous that I once had the physical and emotional freedom to do whatever I wanted, and pursue whatever dreams I desired, but at the same time I'm very grateful I was given life and the opportunity to do so at all. Better to have lived an enjoyable life for a short amount of time, than not at all you know?

 

[Taylor]

Early childhood New Years
It was magic

I second that. Being a child, in the sense that you have no clue what life is yet and you're just taking in all the sensory information one day at a time, is a magical experience.

 

[marcusuk63]

I honestly can't remember ever been happy. I hated my childhood, hated school, didn't have any friends and hated my home life too. I always thought when I grew up left home and school and became an adult everything would be great and I'd be happy but it never happened.

I was trying to think a few weeks ago , when i was happy ? and like you i honestly couldn't think of any point in my life at all and i`m 55 now !

 

[Bloodtearsdust]

I was in an outdoor school program when I was in high school. We used to do this thing called solo time. Each of us were given a compass direction and we would go off in the bush following that direction for 5-6 hours. Maybe it was just being alone with my thoughts? But at some point I felt like everything made sense in life. I felt peaceful and happy. I wasn't anxious. I also gave up driving and rode my bike everywhere instead. I felt like I noticed more....But that peaceful time ended. Adult life has been anything but that. I just feel like I'm on this hamster wheel of anxiety, and I can't get off. Really I'm just exhausted but sleep is elusive unless I'm taking meds (I had to stop... I just can't afford to take 5 naps/day. All the meds I've tried so far make me want to sleep all day/all night. I'm not done with life yet.. but ending it on my own terms is something that has always felt right. I'm sick of the medical community playing "God".

 

[Dead beat dad]

I remember mine was when I was 17, playing drums in a metalcore band with my bandmates/best friends at the time. I remember specifically one night after practice we were so tired out and sweaty, just chilling on my roof, laughing and talking about life and having a good time and just enjoying each other's company.

Another time shortly after that, was after the first show we ever played. I had this indescribable rush of happiness, fulfillment, and overall satisfaction with life as I was tearing down my drum kit backstage.

In both of those moments, everything just felt so perfect in my life, and I remember thinking to myself, "Man, I'm so happy right now."

I reflect on this a lot.
I don't really remember a time before depression.
I want to say before I start at school, but this might just be what I want to be the happy time, there have been moments (although none specifically jump out at me), but maybe the idea of a happy time is better than the happy time itself.
It feels like everything is so diluted with depression it has acted as a poison to it all (ironically given my plans to CTB).
I hope everyone's reflections on happy times make them smile, and should be a light that they are missing in their lives even just for a minute.
Peace everyone
DBD

 

[a;e]

I went to a mental hospital when I was a teen, and it had bad times but it had so many great ones as well. I made so many amazing friends and memories. It was like living the ideal life of a teen sometimes.

I remember mine was when I was 17, playing drums in a metalcore band with my bandmates/best friends at the time. I remember specifically one night after practice we were...just chilling on my roof, laughing and talking about life and having a good time and just enjoying each other's company.
In both of those moments, everything just felt so perfect in my life, and I remember thinking to myself, "Man, I'm so happy right now."

Yeah thats a lot like what I felt, I really feel you on that one. Thats a lot like it was at the hospital.

 

[Nobodysfault]

I remember mine was when I was 17, playing drums in a metalcore band with my bandmates/best friends at the time. I remember specifically one night after practice we were so tired out and sweaty, just chilling on my roof, laughing and talking about life and having a good time and just enjoying each other's company.

Another time shortly after that, was after the first show we ever played. I had this indescribable rush of happiness, fulfillment, and overall satisfaction with life as I was tearing down my drum kit backstage.

In both of those moments, everything just felt so perfect in my life, and I remember thinking to myself, "Man, I'm so happy right now."

I was extra happy and energetic as a kid..as a teenager or as an adult i didnt have a single moment of pure joy, i had some fun but it was never "freedom fun", it was always under certain limitations and my best times were when it was mixed with full hope for a better future so with that in mind i would say that my dreamer moments (age 17-18) were my best. Full hope of bringing the hippie half science girl i am to life and in the meantime enjoying what im capable of doing in my current state.. But since im here on this website - its pretty obvious i failed and still cant function as little as a person should..Still that girl on the inside though..ugh it feels kind of tragic.
your story sounds like a dream to me!! To fully enjoy a moment like this without feeling held back.
I wish i could play drums/play in a band and feel so free and satisfied, i keep watching john bonham and i get so jealous! He's a legend!what kind of music do you play? Is it ok if i ask why do you want to ctb?