Discussion What’s the best advice you’ve ever gotten?

[salmon]

It can be about something simple and small, actually I like those the most!

 

[Captive of Mind]

The more you talk, the more you set yourself up for it to backfire. It seems like every time I express myself, I make things worse. I would have been way better off in life if I kept my mouth shut most of the time. Obviously there are times when it is better to say what's on your mind, but when you do, say as little as possible.

 

[Makko]

"Just be yourself."

It really is the ultimate advice, but it doesn't mean what people who give it think it means. Unfortunately you need to spend your whole lifetime unpacking it to understand what it actually means.

 

[signifying nothing]

You already know.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

"Aim for the brain stem."
"100m onto concrete or asphalt means certain death."

 

[Pen>Sword]

The more you talk, the more you set yourself up for it to backfire. It seems like every time I express myself, I make things worse. I would have been way better off in life if I kept my mouth shut most of the time. Obviously there are times when it is better to say what's on your mind, but when you do, say as little as possible.

That makes a lot of sense. People take advantage of their knowledge about me in hindsight. Being private is a good advice. Oversharing information that is none of their business definitely backfires in ways that I don't expect.

No comment would be a good idea, unless if it makes me extremely uncomfortable or inconvenient for me.

 

[ClairyFairy]

Forgiving is not forgetting it's remembering and letting go

 

[aeon]

Beware of people who talk too much.

 

[262653]

Don't open it.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Some serious advice I got that I still follow to this day is from my mother (yeah I personally find that shocking lol) anyway what she told me was "dont feed someone something you wouldn't eat yourself" at the time I made a joke, being someone that didn't have much in the way of variety "I guess they don't get to eat very much then lol" but what she meant was whether it was good for eating or not. It might be something stupid, something obvious but I keep this in mind every time I'm in the fridge and considering she was a fucking cunt to me it sparks a good memory so that's a good thing too lol.

 

[Imaginos]

Life is bullshit. A therapist told that to me and my mom once. I've always assumed it was his intent to illustrate that by acknowledging how absurd our lives are that, perhaps through embracing this absurdism, one can somehow salvage some possibility of meaning for themselves. Then again, maybe he was just saying that life is bullshit. And boy is it. Massively so. It was pretty funny at the time, since he'd said the exact same thing to my mother many years before I was even born. At a time when she had actually gone to see him, and then here he was saying it again to me. This was back when I was like 14 or 15, something like that. My mother didn't understand those words when she first heard them, but, over time, came to realize their veracity. So much so, that even she herself started to remark on how life was utter bullshit. When the time came where he said those words to me, it was sort of like coming full circle. Even in the moment, me and my mother couldn't help, but laugh about it and, of course, we wholeheartedly agreed with him. It's too bad I didn't take therapy very seriously back then and just wanted to stay at home. I was young and thought I didn't need anyone's help. I just wanted to be left alone. It wasn't long before I stopped seeing him as a result. Nowadays, if I had the chance to speak with him again, I'd be much more committed to the process and would at least give it a shot to see how it'd go. Sadly, this guy is long dead. Oh well.

There's also a quote by Charles Bukowski which, to me, serves as some of the truest words I've ever seen written. Whether one regards it as advice or not is up to them, but I for one can't imagine a better example of it. Either way, you can see part of it below. The full quote is even more devastatingly honest.

don't do it.
unless it comes out of
your soul like a rocket,
unless being still would
drive you to madness or
suicide or murder,
don't do it.
unless the sun inside you is
burning your gut,
don't do it.


when it is truly time,
and if you have been chosen,
it will do it by
itself and it will keep on doing it
until you die or it dies in you.


there is no other way.


and there never was.

 

[Callie Arcale]

About life and expectations in general
Being happy is not something attainable, something worth striving for. Happiness is an invention. You should strive for a little contentment every now and then. If you can be content once in a while, that's a good life.

About panic attacks
They pass. They always pass. Always. And then they come back. And then they pass again. You can rest now in the knowledge that they pass.

 

[Fehler]

"who warns is not a traitor" "Nothing is free in this life" "Don't have romantic relationships at work"

 

[Makko]

At least 90% of all problems caused by other people can be eliminated by ceasing to want their understanding or help.

 

[WornOutLife]

"Life makes sense backwards but it must be lived forwards".

 

[blahblahhh]

Be kind.

 

[wordsonscreen]

Orchids don't need a lot of water and stop feeding ducks bread

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

"Question everything"
-George Carlin

So thankful my dad was a fan of his growing up.

 

[FatalSystemError591]

Basically it boiled down to, "There are many types of love in the world, romantic love is just one of them, don't limit your world view." I never forgot that.

 

[b&w]

This wasn't given directly to me, but I read somewhere: "As someone with BPD I don't get close to people or make friends." I realized I should've heeded of this way too late.

 

[wordsonscreen]

This wasn't given directly to me, but I read somewhere: "As someone with BPD I don't get close to people or make friends." I realized I should've heeded of this way too late.

I understand. It resonates too... I have a much much much harder time letting people in now. But I assure you- with the right people, it so worth it. Our ability to feel so much means we also can love deeply unlike many people <3 It goes in all directions. But I feel this sentiment.

 

[Antigonish]

Sometimes you're just a normal person in a fucked up world. Sometimes you're a fucked up person in a even more fucked up world.

Dont point fingers, we're all crazy.

When life gives you lemons, trade them for limes, they go great with tequila.

It's your life, not theirs, do with it what you like.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

If it feels like you're forcing it, then it's likely not meant to happen (at least in that moment). I've known this for years, but...lol.

Also, happiness itself is fleeting. Best to aim to accept life and its circumstances for what they are, and to find contentment. Have also known this for years. Ha. Haha. :(