What's something you enjoy?

[Silent.Tears]

@sadandhopeless1 ahem.. btw I forgot to mention I love eating and trying out different kinds of breads..

 

[catowice]

Onimai! There are so much things to say about it

 

[Ilayis]

Cooking mostly

 

[Source Energy]

It confuses me why people are even on this site in the first place if they are able to enjoy so many things. I don't even feel like I'm on a suicide forum anymore which is supposed to be full of suicidal people. This thread is just so strange to me, I would had thought that many of these people would be out enjoying life instead if existing is so great for them.

But in my case I absolutely despise existing in every single way and that's why I want to be gone so badly. There's nothing 'enjoyable' about having to exist, and something so burdensome and awful as life shouldn't be glorified to the extent that it so often is. I find it so incredibly tiring just being awake and it's a terrible thing just having awareness of this world.

I am as suicidal as it gets. Given a bottle of N, or someone safely assembles a Nitrogen tank/ mask for me coz I'm an ignoramus, and I'm outta here no second thoughts. I have so much pain in my heart it is shattered in millions pieces.
Despite this, I do have things I enjoy, and if I didn't allow myself a respite, I would lose my sanity. When I immerse myself in a book or tv show, when I eat something yummy, when I go to a new place, for a few minutes or hours, it reduces my pain, and I welcome that.
No one can cry 24/7, no matter how miserable. Yes, life sucks, yes, we want out, but until we find a way out, we can just as well catch a break, finding relief in the few things we can

 

[Comfydant]

honestly, i spend a lot of my time playing video games, watching anime or vtubers, and listening to music, but even those things have become pretty difficult to enjoy. i went to build-a-bear and hot topic the other day and felt happy for a brief moment because it was the first time i'd left my house in god knows how long and i got a sylveon plushie and a pair of gir slipper socks out of it, but most days, i can't even work up the motivation to roll out of bed until 2–3PM, i order burger king or panda express, and then i spend the next several hours mindlessly scrolling social media, playing splatoon 3, or watching clips of ike eveland and fulgur ovid in a vain attempt to feel something as my health deteriorates more and more with each passing day.