Although I pushed through my fears to improve and get a job.. be normal. I'm still socially anxious all the time... always wearing a public social mask. People might see me as a normal person, but I don't feel like I am. Just trying to function at normal everyday life can feel tiring.
And, honestly, I feel like a mindless slave going to work just to keep a roof over my head. It's not like I Want to have a job, just something I'm forced to do (even when feeling depressed, etc)... then when I come home, I feel lonely 'cause it's just me.... It can be nice doing whatever during free time with no one to bother or question me... But, at the same time, I'm wondering what's the point of continuing the cycle of monotony if I'm unhappy or feeling so empty. Even after you conquer fears and get a job, appear normal... you still gotta find reasons to live for and find what makes you happy... find a meaning in life. Getting basic needs met, doesn't necessarily follow that you'll suddenly experience happiness. If it did, I wouldn't be on here.