WHAT?

[Oblivion]

What now? WHAT NOW!!
what am i doing? why the fuck am i still alive? why can't i just fucking do it? why the fuck am i stuck living a fucked up life with nothing to look forward to and it's only getting worse and worse and worse and the SEXUAL FRUSTRATION IS FUCKING KILL ME, the lust in me is too fucking much and i'm dying to touch someone, to feel things but no one wants to be in the life of a fucking creepy freak pig and even if they do, i don't even fucking want them, i want nothing from this life, i want to do nothing, i just wanna get the fuck out right here, right now, and the fucking out of nothing excitement i always keep getting for nothing? WTF???????????????????? i'm too fucking tired, all i do is think about death with no courage to do it, it's not painful, its fucking numb and i need to feel pain, i want to be bullied, but everyone feels sorry for me and treats me nicely, fuck this and fuck anyone who bring a child into this life, you fucking monsters.

 

[Challu]

mood

 

[jodes2]

Sorry you're struggling. I hope you find a solution to your sexual frustration, I'm sure you can find someone if you look in the right places! Nolongerlonely.com is a dating site for people with mental health difficulties, I'm sure you could find someone there. All I think about is death too, but it's so far away because I need to be here for my gf so I'm trapped here

 

[blackwidow]

oh...

 

[FadeOut]

Lmao

Why do you think it's funny? It's normal for an adult to want a relationship and to want physical intimacy.

 

[Cathy Ames]

Why do you think it's funny? It's normal for an adult to want a relationship and to want physical intimacy.

They deleted it. If you delete your comment as well, then the OP may not have to see it?

 

[Oblivion]

They deleted it. If you delete your comment as well, then the OP may not have to see it?

I'm unaffected by anything and i don't give a fuck about anything, everything is meaningless and i don't feel anything, so i don't care if someone laughs at me or bullies me, it's all the same to me

 

[Cathy Ames]

I'm unaffected by anything and i don't give a fuck about anything, everything is meaningless and i don't feel anything, so i don't care if someone laughs at me or bullies me, it's all the same to me

I'm glad you shared how you are feeling, and I hope that writing it out and expressing it was helpful to you. I don't completely relate to it (like the part where you said you wanted to be bullied?) but I can tell you are really hurting and it does sound miserable. Now that I think about it, maybe getting laughed at when you are upset is similar to getting bullied? [I would find it hurtful.]

I hope you will feel better soon.

 

[Oblivion]

I'm glad you shared how you are feeling, and I hope that writing it out and expressing it was helpful to you. I don't completely relate to it (like the part where you said you wanted to be bullied?) but I can tell you are really hurting and it does sound miserable. Now that I think about it, maybe getting laughed at when you are upset is similar to getting bullied? [I would find it hurtful.]

I hope you will feel better soon.

i want to be bullied so that it gets worse and maybe i can finally do it, 20 years of wishing for suicide and i still cant do it

 

[GasMonkey]

Are u 20yo?

 

[almaranthine]

Idk I don't even feel lust or sexual frustration anymore... truly dead inside. I don't fantasize about anything, and to be honest, sex is not even appealing to me anymore. If anything, it has only ever made me feel violated or used, or both. Fuck, I don't even believe in love anymore. I get where you're coming from, as I've felt similarly in my past. I'm sorry you are suffering and feel so alone. It is terrible to want intimacy and have no one but yourself and your thoughts. So many years that I was alone and still hoped I'd find love were filled with nights of crying myself to sleep. Now, I don't cry, and barely feel anymore. I'm not sure what's sadder.

 

[Barteljaap]

Sorry you're struggling. I hope you find a solution to your sexual frustration, I'm sure you can find someone if you look in the right places! Nolongerlonely.com is a dating site for people with mental health difficulties, I'm sure you could find someone there. All I think about is death too, but it's so far away because I need to be here for my gf so I'm trapped here

I know you have good intentions but it's a bit frustrating when people suggest online solutions to problems like these. Online dating, no matter what niche it has tends to be heavily male dominated. Women are saturated with options and it's hard to get any response from them.

I have been trying on an autistic dating/friendship app for the past few months (I am diagnosed with autism). Only a small percentage of girls match me for dating, and even then conversations tend to not even start. I always read through their profiles and try to tailor my message to them but it doesn't help... A compliment can get you a "thank you" and sometimes a specific question will get a short answer. But there is zero effort from them to continue the conversation. The fact that we're both autistic or in some cases even have other things in common matters naught when these girls have hundreds of options to choose from.

At least the app is for friendship as well. Some men and older women (when older I'm only talking about ~5 years difference) will match me for friendship and they will actually talk. Now, developing an actual friendship over text is quite difficult but at least I've been able to have an interesting conversation from time to time.

Bit of a segue. All I'm saying is that I doubt things are any better on the website you recommended.

 

[jodes2]

I know you have good intentions but it's a bit frustrating when people suggest online solutions to problems like these. Online dating, no matter what niche it has tends to be heavily male dominated. Women are saturated with options and it's hard to get any response from them.

I have been trying on an autistic dating/friendship app for the past few months (I am diagnosed with autism). Only a small percentage of girls match me for dating, and even then conversations tend to not even start. I always read through their profiles and try to tailor my message to them but it doesn't help... A compliment can get you a "thank you" and sometimes a specific question will get a short answer. But there is zero effort from them to continue the conversation. The fact that we're both autistic or in some cases even have other things in common matters naught when these girls have hundreds of options to choose from.

At least the app is for friendship as well. Some men and older women (when older I'm only talking about ~5 years difference) will match me for friendship and they will actually talk. Now, developing an actual friendship over text is quite difficult but at least I've been able to have an interesting conversation from time to time.

Bit of a segue. All I'm saying is that I doubt things are any better on the website you recommended.

Sorry to hear that. The website's ratio wasn't too bad if I remember rightly but I understand your objections

 

[Oblivion]

Are u 20yo?

30s

Idk I don't even feel lust or sexual frustration anymore... truly dead inside. I don't fantasize about anything, and to be honest, sex is not even appealing to me anymore. If anything, it has only ever made me feel violated or used, or both. Fuck, I don't even believe in love anymore. I get where you're coming from, as I've felt similarly in my past. I'm sorry you are suffering and feel so alone. It is terrible to want intimacy and have no one but yourself and your thoughts. So many years that I was alone and still hoped I'd find love were filled with nights of crying myself to sleep. Now, I don't cry, and barely feel anymore. I'm not sure what's sadder.

I had someone amazing once and i left her for no reason, i hated her for no reason and didn't even wanna see her face at all cause it made me feel so bad and my stomach would become tense when i saw her, she did not do anything wrong at all, i was madly in love with her and simply my brain decided to shift away from love to hate, she spent months begging me to take her back, me the piece of shit who had never been even liked in his life by anyone, i was truly loved by this gorgeous girl which i threw away like she meant nothing to me, till this day i don't understand what happened, how love can turn into absolute hate and despite for no fucking reason, right now i seek partners for sex and it rarely works, only had sex less than 10 times in 20 years of puberty and my body is always raging with hormones day and night and sometimes it gets extremely worse like now since 2 weeks, i'm extremely frustrated to the point my breathing becomes hard and i just want someone in my fucking arms right now to hold and feel them, intimacy and sex, frustration and loss of hope, depression and madness, nihilism and tiredness, awe and defeat. I just want this to end
humans are fucking pathetic animals.

 

[GasMonkey]

I completely understand you, I'm a 38yo KHHV.

 

[Oblivion]

I understand what you mean— my husband literally limps around if I don't have sex with him for weeks— which does happen to due to my depression— or physical issues—like cause his pelvic area and balls hurt. He's grumpy as fuck too. I think embracing this fact that it would be nice to have release with someone regularly can help us thrive for that? Like— maybe you can get your own girl—maybe you don't have to pay for it all the time— maybe you can steal that girl from the pimp/agency and now have your own girl— "save her" per say…

And maybe she can "save you"…

Not saying that women need saving… just talking about familiar scenarios where some women can be found…
Everyone needs saving
Just saying…
Based on this post it sounds like you know what you want— and that is consistent sex partner with intimacy. And I don't think it's weird or wrong to want that— like you said we are human pathetic fucking animals.

I don't want a relationship, i get frustrated and bored and would want to stay away

 

[Regret]

I don't want a relationship, i get frustrated and bored and would want to stay away

i just want someone in my fucking arms right now to hold and feel them, intimacy and sex,

Yeah— at least you have the right mindset of not forcing a relationship?