What Would You Have Done Differently? What Would You Tell Your Younger Self?

[Person]

Dear young me,

Don't have your children.
You love them to bits and wanted them desperately. You try your best and are probably an average mum.

But their daddy dies when they are still babies. You can't cope on your own and turn into a jibbering wreck.
And they don't deserve that. Neither do they deserve to be orphaned, adopted or palmed off on anyone else.
The best you can do is not have them in the first place, to save them of the shitty luck that's followed you around your entire life.

But it's too late now.
Welcome to your own personal hell.

 

[inconsequential]

Tell your mom to divorce your dad NOW. I don't give a shit if she's mad at you, she'll be mad at you if you make them divorce at age 15, too.

Nothing will get better if you don't get out, or get them to separate. Your father will fuck you up so badly sexually that decent men won't want anything to do with you, and you'll have to suffer with the abusive ones, or suffer alone.

Watch out for your mother. In multiple ways. She will destroy your soul, but you will also need to take care of her. She's fragile, even if she won't show it to you.

And for god's sake, stop eating what they put in front of you. Go to the neighbor's house. They're really Christian & really weird, but they'll feed you vegetables and give you fruit and there isn't any beer in their fridge.

 

[Weems]

Nothing is more important than your honor.

A bad conscience can utterly destroy you.

Take pleasure in achievements, not vices.

The world, and other people, are full of beauty. Respect them.

Life is competitive and most people lose. You have to fight your way to the top every single day.

Don't quit what you're good at.

Every single thing you do is permanent. There are no time machines. Act accordingly!

 

[Theon]

Don't do drugs you idiot.

 

[Broken Chimera]

What I'd tell myself:

Leave early on. There won't be anything left to lose either way.

People are gonna hate you no matter what. Might as well be successful to give them a reason to hate you.

Leave the bums and losers alone. They'll just pull you down and they'll be the first one's to laugh.

Play stupid early on and learn how to play people. They won't feel bad fucking you over, so don't feel bad doing the same.

 

[Boonks]

"DO NOT TAKE THAT ANTIDEPRESSANT. THROW IT IN THE TRASH AND NEVER LOOK BACK."

 

[MAIO]

I am in my 30's now, and I wish I knew years ago what I know now. I feel like I have gained the wisdom of many lifetimes. But at the same time I can't fix things now because of my health conditions.

This is what I would tell myself. So here it goes.

At 5 years old. - "Growth is attained when you either help end suffering or add meaning to your life or others lives, that should be your core value. Stay close to your dad and mom, especially your dad. Seek truth, learn to think objectively, and learn critical thinking through books. Talk to your dad. Learn as much as you can about how the world works and how your own mind works. Don't take the bible so seriously. (Parents were fundamentalist Christians.)"

At 10 years old - "Focus on your school work because you need to go to higher education. Either masturbate or don't, no need to feel ashamed about it though, and if it gets to be too much then just take an anaphrodisiac. (I had a very high sex drive.) And forgive your dad of everything, support him he's been through things he never even told you."

At 20 years old - "Go to college or a trade school, and learn how to attract women and get married after you finish schooling."

After marriage. - "Pass down a message through your children, one that will be passed down through the generations to your children's children, a message that will be able to stand the test of time, one that is grounded in truth and reality."

And so if I followed those instructions then I would have avoided my health problem.

I would tell myself Commit suicide; you are not going to regret. Just force yourself to overpower SI, it will be worth it.

 

[Mn1245]

Do not listen to anyone, only listen to yourself. Stop talking to people who hate you or are jealous of you. They want to destroy your life so don't give them your time. Do things you enjoy and only think about yourself. Everyone lies and only cares about themselves. If I knew this when I was 16, I could have had a boring, but bearable life. Now I just want to CTB because I made too many mistakes.

 

[Brainpain]

I would have told my younger self it doesn't get better. I would have told my younger self to take the scholarship and at least give my dream career a shot. I would have warned my younger self that all the psychiatric issues are actually BP2 and never going to go away and only get worse. I would warn of the life altering chronic pain coming. I would strongly advise younger me to kill self by age 30 and not get married as all I did was destroy a kind person's life, they did not deserve that.

 

[Midnight]

I honestly don't know if i would tell my younger self to stop wasting time and do it already cause it's not worth the 2 decades of suffering. Or just say to myself:

"you're a good person .. life is going to be shit, most of the people are aswell, you'll work just to make other people rich and make ends meet for yourself, you can't live off of helping people/working alone so if you want to spare yourself the suffering it's ok man ... Just know you will be very lonely for a very long time ... You are too kind and your unfulfilled need for companionship is going to destroy your mind from beginning till the very end. It's going to be very tough and there's no guarantee of it ever getting better. You decide ..

Fuck man i don't even know ... I'm glad timetravel does not exist ... I wouldn't even want to talk to my younger self. Besides if the technology where to exist mankind would obliterate itself quickly.

 

[Final Escape]

Avoid sex until marriage. Because I became promiscuous as a teen coming from a neglected abusive background, I failed to marry and all my would be kids were murdered through abortions. Birth control is not without bad side effects and condoms weren't perfect either. I was in cohabiting relationships that never moved towards a commitment but I also feared having kids and marrying because of my childhood.

 

[Oblivion Lover]

Oh, I just noticed that this thread also asked what you would have done differently and I didn't answer that in my other post. If I knew that my suicide attempt would fail because the dosage of the meds I took wasn't high enough, I would have waited for some months to stockpile 5 times more meds and also buy vodka to drink along with it to intensify the effects of the clonazepam. If I did that I wouldn't be here to regret failing. Sigh...

 

[GhostedToast]

many

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

High School: "It's normal to want friendships. There is nothing wrong with you for wanting a real friend. Fight back against your parents, even if they hit you. Contrary to what they say, a 96 is not a death sentence and you are not stupid and lazy for craving real human connections. You're not going to be a garbage collector just because you got a 96 on a test."

College: "Go out more. Smoke some pot. Go clubbing more often. Don't be scared to try some things you would've been too scared to try under your parents' roof. Experience life."

Now: "Kill yourself."

 

[Nem]

I think my only thing would be to have never tried meds at all or at least not in the last ten years for sure. Holy shit I found meds caused all of the difficulties without a doubt
Peace

 

[Fadinglife]

I wish to get the wisdom i have now much earlier. It would be a clear indication of my trapped life, that there no scope. I don't think anything would have changed as my life has never been mine to begin with and i there is nothing i could have done differently expect looking for ways to ctb earlier and making peace with death. I shouldn't have been born in the first place and that is a mistake i need to correct. Now, i am ghost in a shell trapped in my circumstances floating under the dark sky, unheard and unseen. I fantasize about peace in nothingness. Still, i doubt that i would have gotten my hands on tools and opportunity to die earlier. I wish to have told my younger self of the misery ahead, but i hate my younger self and glad to have evolved into a person i am today which is something. If there is a time machine i would kill my younger self and making sure she dies, even better if i could just stop my parents to getting close and my mother conceiving me. Making sure my mother miscarriages me. Freedom from world which is cruel and specially from the religion, culture and society here.

 

[seekingoblivion]

I'd tell me to kill me asap.

 

[RM5998]

"The only way you will ever be happy is if you can make mom happy. So keep mom happy, no matter what."

 

[Taetre]

Kill yourself as soon as you can. You don't know how happy and easy your life is now, it will become a nightmare pretty soon. It's pointless, don't fight it.

 

[not_a_robot]

"The only way you will ever be happy is if you can make mom happy. So keep mom happy, no matter what."

"A mother is only as happy as her unhappiest child."

 

[RM5998]

"No matter what you do to try and make Mom happy, it will never be enough. Just give up and kill yourself already. You have her pills, just fucking do it."

 

[not_a_robot]

"No matter what you do to try and make Mom happy, it will never be enough. Just give up and kill yourself already. You have her pills, just fucking do it."

I thought so.
The quote I posted is just something pro-lifers say.

 

[Morphinekiss]

11 year old self- when the older girls in your dance class teach you how to purge and starve yourself, don't listen. They're just jealous because you're more talented.

12 year old self- you going to find your brother's body. You're going to insist you're ok. You're not, get to some kind of trauma counseling.

19 year old self- put down the bottle, put down cocaine, get back into a dance studio. Do not let the frat boy in. DO NOT GET ENGAGED, it will not heal you.

25 year old me- cut off his balls while he rapes you during a seizure.

 

[Kuolema]

At 12 years old: Enjoy your life while you still can, puberty is going to hit you like a truck.
At 13 years old: You actually are gay, that's alright. Don't let anyone put you down for something you can't control. I know it's hard but try to make some friends. When that guy asks you if you want to go to that party, just go. If you don't do it now, you're probably going to spend all you're time in high school alone.
At 16 years old: Don't drop out. You'll regret it forever. Stop playing video games and study more.
At 18 years old: Don't see that psychiatrist. They're going to put you on drugs that will destroy your libido. Either man up and find a bf or figure out a way to cope without meds. Try finding a hobby.

 

[not_a_robot]

To 10 yr old me.
Never ask for help. All that ever does is make you vulnerable to predators and scavengers. You are smarter and stronger than the people who pretend to want to help, and if you just be patient the right answers to your problems will arise; asking for help will always just compound the problem, never improve it.
Help and Love are the two cruelest lies in the world, and they are everywhere, but if you stay strong, isolate yourself and avoid them, you can have a very good, if solitary, life.
Never believe the people who say you need others to survive; other people need that, but you don't, and deep down you already know that.
Love is a lie but drugs are real, and they are going to save your life. Weed will be legal and it will be the best thing that ever happens to you, so don't kill yourself before then.

 

[262653]

So many things I'd like to tell him... but I wouldn't go far with my verbal skills and his readiness to listen.
I'd like to say to 5 year old me to stop carelessly expressing our sadistic inclinations towards other people, to be wary of retaliation. But I doubt I would listen...

I'd say to 7 year old me to keep punching his bullies in the face.
"Fend for yourself. Off your parents and peers. Because only we have our own best interests at heart. Listen to your gut instincts. They are infinitely more important than your overbearing family. They would try to spoil you, to deprive your life from challenges that can make you much stronger than I have become."
I'd describe my life as detailed as I possibly can. About my detachment from personal feelings. About the general lack of interest in life and suicidal ideations...
"Trust your brain. No matter how much you have it."

I'd say to 8 year old stop eating garbage because otherwise it will make him fat, ugly,
"Keep playing chess. You really have a knack for it. Play with parents, with neighbours, with peers, with anyone capable really. Ask your school chess teacher how can you improve and play with other interested fellows."
I would also strongly advise on starting a journal and keeping up drawing stuff. "Your working memory is very limited." I'd ask him to memorize... a sequence of 15 numbers in a short amount of time, then recreate it. Show how his memory is flawed and then write down those nubers on the paper. "There, your jorunal can be the extension of your memory. You are free to write down anything! Your thoughts, feelings, emotions... things that happen to you..."

I'd say to a 13 year old me that peer pressure is a bitch, that he would experience the urge to do stupid shit, like smoking and drinking. All that just to feel united with a group. How it can poison his body and affect his performance... But I wouldn't listen probably.

If I trusted my own output, valued it more than anyone else... my life would turn out so different I wouldn't even know what to advise anymore.

*"A mother is only as happy as her child is unhappy."

 

[Numbtopain97]

Its okay to ask for help!

 

[Robbyna]

I would tell myself to fight my depression and anxiety with all I have. To not engage jealousy. To ignore my parents weak and violent sides. To never give up no matter how pointless life seems, because nothing is worse than living with regret.

 

[Deadunicorn]

A few people in this thread have said they wished they did better in school or went to college, but I did that and I was really good in school. I would have told my younger self to relax a little when it came to school and not stress so much. I put way too much pressure on myself for my end result. I would also tell my younger self to not download tinder. I met a lot of cool people on there but also met 2 people who ended up raping me.

 

[Tabbyql]

Don't be your families bitch.
Do not let them drag you across country, and let them ruin your chance of becoming a vet.
Do not move in with your current bf.