What Would You Have Done Differently? What Would You Tell Your Younger Self?

[GeorgeJL]

I am in my 30's now, and I wish I knew years ago what I know now. I feel like I have gained the wisdom of many lifetimes. But at the same time I can't fix things now because of my health conditions.

This is what I would tell myself. So here it goes.

At 5 years old. - "Growth is attained when you either help end suffering or add meaning to your life or others lives, that should be your core value. Stay close to your dad and mom, especially your dad. Seek truth, learn to think objectively, and learn critical thinking through books. Talk to your dad. Learn as much as you can about how the world works and how your own mind works. Don't take the bible so seriously. (Parents were fundamentalist Christians.)"

At 10 years old - "Focus on your school work because you need to go to higher education. Either masturbate or don't, no need to feel ashamed about it though, and if it gets to be too much then just take an anaphrodisiac. (I had a very high sex drive.) And forgive your dad of everything, support him he's been through things he never even told you."

At 20 years old - "Go to college or a trade school, and learn how to attract women and get married after you finish schooling."

After marriage. - "Pass down a message through your children, one that will be passed down through the generations to your children's children, a message that will be able to stand the test of time, one that is grounded in truth and reality."

And so if I followed those instructions then I would have avoided my health problem.

 

[Theon]

That's easy: love and accept yourself and don't do drugs.

 

[GeorgeJL]

That's easy: love and accept yourself and don't do drugs.

For me that was more complicated. See for me to love and accept myself I would have to overcome in life. I almost hate myself because I didn't reach my full potential. And psychedelic drugs are liberating.

 

[Theon]

For me that was more complicated. See for me to love and accept myself I would have to overcome in life. I almost hate myself because I didn't reach my full potential. And psychedelic drugs are liberating.

I guess the sad thing in my case is that I did reach my full potential, in many ways I did have it all, yet for some reason, it wasn't enough.

 

[TimeToDie]

And so if I followed those instructions then I would have avoided my health problem.

I don't understand. I know we both have tinnitus, but how would any of your above advice have avoided your tinnitus (and whatever other health problems you have)?

That's easy: love and accept yourself and don't do drugs.

I never used any illicit drug till trying marijuana (upon the advice of my psychiatrist) at the ripe old age of 43. And I have never abused prescription drugs either. I didn't even drink till I was in my 30s. Unfortunately, it takes far more than just avoiding drugs to get a good life.

 

[GeorgeJL]

I don't understand. I know we both have tinnitus, but how would any of your above advice have avoided your tinnitus (and whatever other health problems you have)?

Tinnitus isn't my only problem, I had a health condition that caused me to loose a bunch of weight and that worsened my tinnitus. I mean I was bone thin. I'm managing my health OK right now but it could get much worse. And the loosing weight could have been prevented if I gained critical thinking skills as a child and forgave my dad. It's complicated, I don't want to get into it.

I never used any illicit drug till trying marijuana (upon the advice of my psychiatrist) at the ripe old age of 43. And I have never abused prescription drugs either. I didn't even drink till I was in my 30s. Unfortunately, it takes far more than just avoiding drugs to get a good life.

Agreed!

 

[Conflicted Cat]

If you had done something differently, it wouldn't be you, it would be someone else looking back, asking a different set of questions.

So nothing for me. I'm quite happy with who I am. And if I so much as done one small thing differently, I could've became someone I don't like, and wouldn't have certain knowledge that I do now.

 

[Bagger]

Change school, ask for professional help if you need some, do not postpone serious stuff, don't let others get over you head, let go toxic friendships, do not involve in any affairs, don't start smoking and don't use drugs. But I surely would not listen to it back then lol.

 

[jake3d]

That's easy: love and accept yourself and don't do drugs.

Love and RESPECT yourself and do more drugs.

 

[Letmego. Please]

I would have told my younger self to go find a taller building to jump off.

Other than that hindsight sucks, you have the wisdom from further yrs alive but no ability to change a dam thing.

 

[Soul]

Don't go back.

 

[TimeToDie]

I would inform my much younger self that I have disabling social phobia (it's not mere shyness as teachers told me). I would have explained Social Security disability rules to my teenage self such that I would have hauled my ass in to see a psychiatrist. That MD would have certified me disabled and upon turning 18 in 1991 I could have started collecting SS benefits (based upon my father's earnings record) every month to the tune of around $1,000 per month in addition to being covered by Medicare.

Had I done that I would have amassed at least $300,000 in benefits by now and the benefits would continue forever. Medicare is also a hell of a lot better than going without insurance from 1995 to 2014 (when Obamacare started). And now I'm paying $660/mth insurance premiums which will keep going up every year for life and which will never end as I will NEVER qualify for SS or Medicare upon turning 65 as I have never been able to work! I got royally fucked by 1. Not knowing that I was disabled (I was in serious denial) & 2. I didn't know anything about SS disability rules (but then how many teens do?).

 

[Sailfisher]

Thoroughly count the cost and consequences of every career move. Discuss openly and honestly your feelings and reservations with your family. Make no major changes lightly.

 

[ladolcemorte]

So Many things, but the top three are:

1. Spend more time in high school contemplating realistic career paths to avoid having to default to a career you know you will hate after having failed at the career you spent your teenage and early adult years working toward (note to self: "opera singer" is not a realistic career goal, especially since you don't live in Europe, you moron!);

2. Don't stay in relationships with people who treat you like crap.

3. Forgive your parents. They are just humans doing their best.

 

[blanketyblk]

I would tell myself to stop caring about what other people think of me, instead care more about what I think of me.

 

[ladolcemorte]

I would inform my much younger self that I have disabling social phobia (it's not mere shyness as teachers told me). I would have explained Social Security disability rules to my teenage self such that I would have hauled my ass in to see a psychiatrist. That MD would have certified me disabled and upon turning 18 in 1991 I could have started collecting SS benefits (based upon my father's earnings record) every month to the tune of around $1,000 per month in addition to being covered by Medicare.

Had I done that I would have amassed at least $300,000 in benefits by now and the benefits would continue forever. Medicare is also a hell of a lot better than going without insurance from 1995 to 2014 (when Obamacare started). And now I'm paying $660/mth insurance premiums which will keep going up every year for life and which will never end as I will NEVER qualify for SS or Medicare upon turning 65 as I have never been able to work! I got royally fucked by 1. Not knowing that I was disabled (I was in serious denial) & 2. I didn't know anything about SS disability rules (but then how many teens do?).

I can relate to this. Several years ago, I had an opportunity to receive disability insurance (a private plan...would have been about $3500 a month) AND have $35 k of student loan debt forgiven. I chose instead to go back to work. Now I am in the hospital (again...), and have ruined things at my job. and I am broke because of all the breaks in my work history, and also all the overspending during hypomanic episodes. and I still have the 35k in debt. I keep thinking I should have just called time of death on my career and taken the disability money all those years ago.

 

[barny]

dont strive to be the best. settle for a simple life and enjoy the simple things.

if you find love, dont give up so easily. dont regret telling someone you love them, they might not be there tomorrow.

dont get a high flying pressurised job, dont study medicine, do something you enjoy. you dont have to prove anything to anyone.

or on the other hand, I could have just said to my 16 yr old self that life would be pants, so dont bother.

 

[ithappens]

I would tell my younger self to not bother speaking up about my mental issues and the conditions of my home life. It never resulted in any actual help, but it certainly made me out to be the fool and something for others to disdain. At this point I have learned (outside of this website) it is better to stoically suffer on your own than it is to seek "help".

 

[Faraway1990]

16 year old me: "you've been through a lot, you really messed things up didn't you? Don't be hard on yourself there's many struggles ahead but you're stronger than you know, and don't judge the future on the shit past go to her now, you know who I mean because if you don't by the time you both realise you need each other things prevent you from being together and since you lose her everything else doesn't seem it's worth the fight and 13 years after today suicide is the only thing that makes sense to yoru."

 

[puppy9]

don't start gambling

 

[JoeFailure]

To live life through love and helping others. Everything would have been different for me and I could've made my parents proud. To understand how cold and hard the world is and can be and that you need to work hard to survive and thrive. To have gotten medication early in my life for my ADHD and maladaptive daydreaming.

And to save money, even if I wasn't capable of getting a high paying job after medication.

 

[deathenvoy]

I would tell my 14-year old self - seek professional help before it is too late. 17 years later it is indeed too late.

 

[Sailfisher]

Stick with the job you love instead of being pressured to climb.

 

[123die]

At 5 - listen to grunge and punk music. Maybe u won't like it too much but listen to it anyways. Don't let anyone tell u who u r or u who rnt or who or what u can't be.

At 10 - u r not crazy. It is normal to want friendships. If u want to sing, sing. If u want to write, write. Oh also, ur native.

At 12 - it is normal to want friendships and relationships. It's hard to find good ones though. Listen to grunge and punk music. It will fill ur soul. Make ur mum let u go to an alternative or an arts school. Talk to everyone there.

At 14 - it's okay to not know who u r. Ur mum genuinely doesn't understand, but that doesn't mean what she tells u is right. It is okay to take time to figure out who u r. It is normal to want friendships and relationships.

At 15 - ur gonna come across a guy who you'll think looks a bit like Daniel Johns of Silverchair. Whatever u do, no matter how much u want to, do not talk to that guy. He's going to get u pregnant, then once u stay with him, he's going to rape u and make ur life impossibly hard.

At 18, in May of 2019 - assuming you've followed my previous advice: idk where u r now but I'll bet it's better than where I am. On the 24th, 25th, and 26th of this month, go on tinder, if ur in the GTA make sure ur location thingy is set to like,, far. Put 'skoden' in ur bio, at this point u must have started reconnecting w ur Native side. Ur gonna come across a boy named Thomas, on tinder, he's native, a few years older than u, he's pretty cute tho, and an artist. Whatever u do, make sure u swipe right and if he doesn't message u, then message him. Trust me. If u want to sing, sing. If u want to write, write. Don't ever let anyone get in ur way of being who u r or who u want to be. And learn the word ogichidaa.

 

[AsexualBarbieBoy]

Stop messing around with self-harm and just kill yourself already. You're just delaying the inevitable.

 

[Vegrau]

To the 16 me :

Dont love anyone. Dont care for anyone. You dont owe anyone. Love only yourself. For they will never love you. Their words are lies. Their nature contradict. Use them. Step on them. Toy with them. For this world is your playground. Laugh. You never had a place in this world. Your kindness is your sin. Your compassion is your misery. Kill your heart. Abandon your humanity. Become the empty monster that you're meant to be. Stop fighting it and just break the chains. Dont be scared. For the beast love you. Embrace the so called darkness. Find your own truth. Walk your own path. Solitude your bastion. Despair your guide. Youre stronger than you realise and always use your brain. Think. Think about it all hard and long. Dont rush into things. You have all the time in the world after all. Dont care how other may look at you. Eventually you will realise its better that way for everyone.. Take what you want. Take what you need. Take all of it.

If you still cant do that then its better we both die.

 

[srk003]

don't start gambling

This. Probably the worst addiction. Lost 4K last week in 10 minutes of madness after being 3K up. Horrible feeling and it lasts.

 

[puppy9]

This. Probably the worst addiction. Lost 4K last week in 10 minutes of madness after being 3K up. Horrible feeling and it lasts.

Yeah I've been struggling with this until now. It hurts.You know when they say "Play Responsibly" is just another blame shifting, to justify their business. Addiction is a sickness, not a crime. Been limiting my gambling compulsion by putting a cap on how much I bet. That's the best I can muster, to mitigate my addiction.

 

[TheFinalCountdown]

Leave school earlier and get a job. Then spend every penny you have to spare on bitcoin

 

[Faraway1990]

Leave school earlier and get a job. Then spend every penny you have to spare on bitcoin

Want to hear something funny? I bought a small fortune of bitcoin before it got big and I forgot about it for the longest time and now I've moved house a few times and all that so I have no idea what my password or recovery code is to get into my wallet. I know my wallet I'd but no idea what my fricking password is lol