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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,197
It is pure speculation.

Maybe chatting with my potential girlfriend. Actually I am texting with a woman but she lacks sanity we are just acquaintances. And I probably have a lot of flaws too.

I had the idea for this threads when I watched the news. When I was younger I wanted to become politician. It is so sad to see. I wish I could spend my resources on some dream goals. But instead I need extreme discipline to attend half-time college. It is a damn joke which feels pretty pathetic. On the other hand I never was smart enough for that. So I probably would have ended in a mediocre position working my ass off. So instead I can act as philosopher king in a suicde forum. Despite the fact many people here have way more knowledge on philosophy than me.

Maybe I would play video games before going to sleep. I did that when I was younger. I quit that behavior because it is too exciting. And I get depressed before I go to sleep and rather want to use that time for self-reflection and becoming calm.
 
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GasMonkey

GasMonkey

Nitrogen Master Race
May 15, 2022
1,881
I'd be having sex with a young and beautiful girl.
 
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unnormal9

unnormal9

SOLDIER T.
Apr 12, 2023
1,139
Developing video games.
I'm trying, Dot.
 
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Lilythefenfen

Lilythefenfen

Exhausted of trying
May 8, 2023
76
I'd be held close by someone who actually loves me instead of seeing me simply as an object. I'd be loved, I'd be kept safe.

I'd probably be playing games, I'd be on hormones and be happy with my body. I'd be able to sleep without having a panic attack every time. I wouldn't have all this pain and would probably have a decent job. I'd also probably have finished high school!
 
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StolenLife

StolenLife

Warlock
Sep 19, 2022
740
Tbh I would still study hard for my exams.
 
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The_End_Is_Comfort

The_End_Is_Comfort

Oh to be a goofy cartoon character.
May 7, 2023
225
Working hard on improving my cartooning skills, Learning an instrument or 2, Chatting with people to try to make new friends, Doing or typing dumb stuff, Work on a sketchbook, Research more about my hobbies, Maybe continue on college, Get to know my coworkers more.
 
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deathLiberation

deathLiberation

Student
Oct 31, 2021
161
Good life as in desired life?

Traveling the world. Learning new languages. Coffe shops and lots o drawings.
 
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annxietty

annxietty

“Is there no way out of the mind?”
Mar 27, 2023
149
Probably outside, If I were normal I would be outside enjoying new experiences instead of being afraid and being abnormal...
 
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TowerRoad

TowerRoad

Member
Apr 21, 2023
25
laugh or be happy.
 
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Suwa

Suwa

Member
May 7, 2023
41
I would imagine I would be wearing skirts, I'd have a girlfriend who supports me and loves me for who I am, and most importantly I'd be working on some of my projects a lot more, and being more productive in general.
 
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squirley

squirley

: )
May 6, 2023
582
It's not so much as " if " but maybe had.

In the life I had. I would have been
( when things were good on the outside.)
( not on the inside )

Working ( carpentery/construction ) daily.
Smoke a joint
BBQ
Gym
Learning how to trade futures contracts.
Staying focused. ( on myself , goals, etc )
Trying to be social.
Trying to stay sober from booze.
I'd still be judging myself.Life.Success.failures.etc.
Trying not to seek revenge on those who have done me wrong.
On / off meds.
I'm sure I would have been seeing someone maybe a FWB or something.
Joint
BBQ
Movies / game
Youtube - languages, trading, world.
Simple. Yet complicated.

It's been about a year and a half since this.
And I'm done being angry , upset, happy or not etc.
trying to always be fixing.Again.Again.Again.
No more energy for it all.
I'm ok with where I am. And accept it.
I'm fond of the memories of who I once was,
The good the bad and the ugly.

I'm waiting and wanting to rest.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,359
For me no matter what existing could never be a desirable state, I see existence as being a burden and I find it tiring being trapped in the prison that is consciousness. I know that I would wish to cease existing no matter what, I'm not delusional enough anyway to want to decay from age and risk experiencing even worse suffering at any moment. Existing could never be "good" to me, it's something tedious, futile and unappealing..
 
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cgrtt.brns

cgrtt.brns

wandering ghost (he/him)
Apr 19, 2023
841
id live in my own place, maybe with a partner, id have learnt how to animate, id be working with animals, id have helped save endangered species, id be able to save and care for injured wildlife, id have figured out a proper diet that doesnt make me feel ill all the time, id be fit enough to do the things i want to do, fuck im a fucking failure
 
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S

sheleftme1

Member
Apr 29, 2023
77
I'd give her a hug and watch a movie. If she were here and chose me in spite of our situation my life would be good enough… I don't need much. I'd propose to her and marry her tomorrow and never let a chance to figure things out before they blow up go again. I'd learn to calm myself down to make sure I don't allow my mind to mess up things that I love. I'd love her
 
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Pomegranate

Pomegranate

"To die is gain."
Jan 21, 2022
78
My dream was to be a physician. If I didn't struggle with OCD & depression, I would've been pretty close to being a doctor. Having to witness my dream crumble due to causes beyond my control traumatized me and destroyed my self-esteem. I've also been struggling for a decade with limerence, a difficult-to-overcome obsession with another person and an incessant urge to always be in their presence. It's made it impossible to form social bonds.

Outside of career, I'd have some consistent hobbies, such as playing basketball or piano. And I'd probably have a partner that loves and cherishes me like no other. I really like long hugs with back rubs, where our separate breathings become one, and we'd never want to stop hugging until we have to. I want to travel. I've been to China before, which was amazing. But I want to go to other places, such as Italy, France, England, Scotland (I hear the Highlands are gorgeous), and of course Japan (I want to meditate near the cherry blossoms with Mount Fuji in my sight).

Oh well, back to reality.
 
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Angst Filled Fuck Up

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Visionary
Sep 9, 2018
2,975
"She lacks sanity" is just about the greatest line ever, btw.

Not really sure what I'd be doing. Probably be a father and husband with a 9 to 5 as was originally on the agenda. But seeing how much work and self-sacrifice that is, I'm not even sure I'd want that, in retrospect. As it turned out I became hopelessly ill with my mystery condition, but I'm at least enabled in the sense that I can stay home and do nothing. I can't function very well so that's as good as it's going to get for me.
 
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Artictart

Artictart

Tired
May 6, 2023
43
I would be preparing for college or spending time with people.
 
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enough of this

enough of this

Specialist
Jun 4, 2023
374
I would be sharing my life with my soul mate, and most likely, my family. I have neither.
 
Csmith8827

Csmith8827

Don't you listen to your heart? (Listen to it...)
Oct 26, 2019
887
I'd be making music in my apartment/house... electric guitar, drums, keyboard, bass, etc... recording all my own stuff and trying to like sing on it as well 🤣
 
Vaermina8

Vaermina8

Peculiar
Jul 24, 2023
14
I would actually complete my school work nice and early in the morning, perhaps afterward I could enjoy time with friends, and spend the whole day like that with no worries. Once home I could work on creating a game of sorts, perfecting it until I feel tired. Then fall into a dream that might give me inspiration, that would be nice.
 
NoLoveNoHope

NoLoveNoHope

Mage
Mar 25, 2023
564
I'd be back to being loved and happy.
 
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N

nailen

New Member
Jul 17, 2023
4
studying chemistry, learning polish and going in the gym
My dream was to be a physician. If I didn't struggle with OCD & depression, I would've been pretty close to being a doctor. Having to witness my dream crumble due to causes beyond my control traumatized me and destroyed my self-esteem. I've also been struggling for a decade with limerence, a difficult-to-overcome obsession with another person and an incessant urge to always be in their presence. It's made it impossible to form social bonds.

Outside of career, I'd have some consistent hobbies, such as playing basketball or piano. And I'd probably have a partner that loves and cherishes me like no other. I really like long hugs with back rubs, where our separate breathings become one, and we'd never want to stop hugging until we have to. I want to travel. I've been to China before, which was amazing. But I want to go to other places, such as Italy, France, England, Scotland (I hear the Highlands are gorgeous), and of course Japan (I want to meditate near the cherry blossoms with Mount Fuji in my sight).

Oh well, back to reality.
very nice message
 
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D

DynamicDepression

Deranged
Mar 28, 2022
352
Cuddling on the couch with my beloved while we watch old sitcoms.
 
lonegore

lonegore

Fading clouds
Jul 16, 2023
35
I'd actually be attending school while knowing how to speak normally without stuttering. Have friends & a caring, non-abusive family. Basically I'd be having a future ahead.
 
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TheSpookyNameGuy

TheSpookyNameGuy

There's nothing here..
Apr 30, 2023
646
I don't know, that sums up my life.

Never been happy my whole life and i can't say i have a utopia in my mind. Peace i guess.

And a brain that could hold knowledge, spend my whole life reading till im dead maybe 😕
 
W

winamp

Enlightened
May 20, 2023
1,358
I would probably try to make friends and go to the arcade with them and host movie nights

but also I could do those things without them and I would also probably leave random notes/stories/poems and images/collages/art around the area without leading on who's leaving them around and at various businesses as a hobby and just to see if anyone would find or like them
 
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sheleftme1

Member
Apr 29, 2023
77
If I knew about the last few months? I'd hug her and make sure she knows I would fix any issues to never lose her
 
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enough of this

enough of this

Specialist
Jun 4, 2023
374
I would probably try to make friends and go to the arcade with them and host movie nights

but also I could do those things without them and I would also probably leave random notes/stories/poems and images/collages/art around the area without leading on who's leaving them around and at various businesses as a hobby and just to see if anyone would find or like them
Those sound like fun things to do. I've left things at various locations, knowing (or, at least, hoping) people would enjoy them.
Anyway, I've enjoyed it. :smiling:
 
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Zegers

Zegers

Enlightened
Dec 15, 2021
1,761
I probably would have finished high school and gone to college, idk what kind of dedication i would have but i have always been interested in business. Without a disability, which ruined self-esteem, self-confidence and identity, without anxiety within minutes of waking up, without anguish, without crushing loneliness, being relatively content and doing things instead of be nulled.