Help what would you do if your mother wanted to ctb?

[WaterHemlock]

Ive been suicidal most of my life. In fact I have a date selected not too far away, so maybe this question sounds a bit pointless. But.

My mother is ill with COPD and is living in a pretty horrible place with my alcoholic brother. She doesn't want to go to a nursing home because they take all your money.
She is talking about suicide and giving away possessions.
I'm conflicted.

-She abused me and my siblings and allowed others to do so.
-She chooses to live in pretty bad circumstances. I've made the mistake before of trying to help her. I am NOT going into her house and becoming her personal care attendant.
-She's a human being and she's miserable and hurting.
-She has a right to choose her own passing. I certainly can sympathize with that, given my own circumstances.
But I feel like I am complicit in her potential death by not calling for emergency services.

What would you do?

 

[motel rooms]

Let her go...

 

[Zzzzz]

Think about it and do
what you feel is best for yourself in this case . Maybe tell her not to tell you what she is planning so you are not liable.

 

[WornOutLife]

It's certainly a very hard situation to be in.

I dunno what I'd do...
I guess I'd try to get some help and doctors would probably say that a psych ward is the only choice.

Here's the irony: I don't wanna end up in a psych ward in spite of being suicidal but, wouldn't I do the same to my mom, brother or dad if they were in my shoes? Damn....

 

[FuneralCry]

If I was in that situation I would let her go. I think if someone truly wants to die and they are constantly suffering, I wouldn't try to stop them as they would be placed in a hospital and it would be against their wishes. I am strongly pro choice and I would want the same for myself

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

What would you do?

Why would you have to do anything?

 

[All Things Must Pass]

Try talking her out of it. Respect her decision if it didn't work out.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

My mom was once in this situation many years ago. She felt overwhelmed at her job so she wanted to quit life. Even though I was also suicidal back then I needed her alive because I still depend on her for money and living in her house and other adulting stuff I don't want to do so I decided to try to talk her out of it by using typical pro-life junk and by pointing out how religious she is. I'm not proud of it but it actually worked and she hasn't really been suicidal since though she has been a lot more active with her church.

Thing is, I did not do this out of love, but out of convenience. I was not ready to die yet and just wanted to live comfortably. Honestly if she really had gone through with it I would have just been more annoyed at the added responsibility for myself and my siblings more than actually being sad. This is why I'm a terrible person who needs to die sooner or later regardless.

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

Does she know that you are suicidal too? Maybe you could talk about it in a different way when you both are suicidal.

 

[WaterHemlock]

Why would you have to do anything?

I don't have to. I feel conflicted about it. And I can't tell if what ever action or inaction I would take is motivated by love or hate.

Does she know that you are suicidal too? Maybe you could talk about it in a different way when you both are suicidal.

She knew at one time. Theres another post I made about my parents laughing and trying to take pictured of my bloody wrists. I don't really feel safe opening to her. But that was a good suggestion.

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

She knew at one time. Theres another post I made about my parents laughing and trying to take pictured of my bloody wrists. I don't really feel safe opening to her. But that was a good suggestion.

I understand. Although I have quite good relationship with my mum, I can't tell her about my suicidal thoughts, because she wouldn't understand.

I'm sorry I don't know what I would do if I were in your shoes. It's really hard situation.

 

[Deleted_9cKnXB34QG]

Partner up, I guess. We're not that far from it anyway given how fucked up our lives are.

 

[WaterHemlock]

You mean, take the bus together? That's an idea!
But honestly, I wouldn't trust her, she loves causing drama.

 

[Shotgunjohn]

It's certainly a very hard situation to be in.

I dunno what I'd do...
I guess I'd try to get some help and doctors would probably say that a psych ward is the only choice.

Here's the irony: I don't wanna end up in a psych ward in spite of being suicidal but, wouldn't I do the same to my mom, brother or dad if they were in my shoes? Damn....

this is exactly how i feel. funny how that works out huh.. i wouldnt want anyone to try to stop me but i would stop them in a heartbeat. maybe im just selfish

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

Encourage her and follow her.

 

[RedHarlequin]

Tell her it's ok, be there for her of she wanted to. I don't think I could help her without prosecutions though. Maybe I could help her to do research do. I mean.. she does have a good reason to ctb. COPD is awful.

 

[motel rooms]

I feel conflicted about it. And I can't tell if what ever action or inaction I would take is motivated by love or hate.

Theres another post I made about my parents laughing and trying to take pictures of my bloody wrists. I don't really feel safe opening to her. But that was a good suggestion.

She abused you and your siblings and allowed others to do so. She chooses to live in pretty bad circumstances - she could go to a nursing home, but refuses to. You've made the mistake before of trying to help her ( I assume she was ungrateful & even disrespectful ). She has a right to choose her own passing.
Please don't feel guilty - no matter what action you take or don't take, you won't please her. You have enough problems of your own - she's made her bed & now she has to lie in it...

 

[WaterHemlock]

I'm not exactly sure how threads work, but, an update: she chose to go to the hospital.
It's kinda a locked floor, but that doesn't matter cause she can barely walk to the bathroom. She has a UTI and she's losing blood somewhere in her gastric system and they can't find where. They had to give her a blood transfusion. We're making plans for a nursing home.
Part of me is filled with childhood feelings-sadness, despair and anger and revulsion.
But there's another part that knows what it is to feel fear and pain. And I don't want anyone to feel like that, even her.

 

[the_final_countdown]

Join her.

 

[lovelyheartz]

I'd let her go.