Story What would you do about a mother like this?

[Blue LIPS]

I'm gonna make this short.

My fiancé's mom we believe is starting to deteriorate mentally? She's always been "odd" but it's seeming to be x10 now (she is like 65). I usually piss her off once per day lol but the next day, she just wants to talk and talk like nothing happened. This woman has ZERO shame of her house's appearance, filth, ants/bugs, and we washed her dog when we found out he hadn't been washed in over a year. He might also be going out as he is seeming to be losing his bladder control. She hoards useless things, especially yarn (might open a museum), but mainly it is things that she hasn't seen in years and all of a sudden, she needs them and was planning on doing something with it... never happens. She's the type that'll say " well if you didn't piss me off that wouldn't have happened" and nothing is ever her fault. She's also still addicted to Disney, like a bit obsessed, which that's fine.. but I mean sounding like it came from a little kid. We have been cleaning her house to help, but our motivation for her is failing, surprised she doesn't just pull up a chair and watch us clean saying "you missed a spot". I also have to add when I FIRST met her, she had me bathe that dog and take him out, he was dehydrated for sure but she would just say "he has water", but was in his crate all of the time. We've discussed Diogenes syndrome and a few other possibilities, but she is also pretty smart, mainly on history... like could probably recite every event that took place from 1500 to now and reads hundreds of books. These are really just some main points, there are more, but i'd say they're more "mild". Hopefully you get the idea.

Okay, that was not short lol.

 

[Nymph]

I feel bad about the dog, if she can't take care of him properly then she probably shouldn't have him. It's animal abuse for him to just be stuck in a crate. I know you take care of him but I imagine you can't do it all the time.
have you discussed her issues just between family or with a professional? Is she willing to go to a doctor?

 

[Blue LIPS]

I feel bad about the dog, if she can't take care of him properly then she probably shouldn't have him. It's animal abuse for him to just be stuck in a crate. I know you take care of him but I imagine you can't do it all the time.
have you discussed her issues just between family or with a professional? Is she willing to go to a doctor?

Same here, I mean he's done a 180 so far, she just has an idea like "he's a dog, he doesn't need a bath! some live in the wild!" type of thing. I had mentioned the animal abuse thing because I was pissed but we actually are staying over now, trying to get her out of the house and all of that. Should've seen how matted he was :/ while I'm on this part, anyone with a dog/cat you should get a Furminator... hands down best de shedding brush and MY dog loves it.

and no about the doctor, she's old school.. I just think she doesn't want to "face the music" and learn something detrimental possibly.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

If she refuses any medical help I don't really think you can do anything outside of what you're already doing. This is just one of those things that comes with having a significant other.

 

[Blue LIPS]

If she refuses any medical help I don't really think you can do anything outside of what you're already doing. This is just one of those things that comes with having a significant other.

That's what I figured as well, just make the best out of the situation idk. The house though is actually presentable now lol. Hell we got rid of the ant infestation with borax and sugar lol so anyone reading this, try it. Works for most insects actually. I mix like a 1/4 cup of borax with 1 cup of sugar dissolved into warm water soaked into cotton balls.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

That's what I figured as well, just make the best out of the situation idk. The house though is actually presentable now lol. Hell we got rid of the ant infestation with borax and sugar lol so anyone reading this, try it. Works for most insects actually. I mix like a 1/4 cup of borax with 1 cup of sugar dissolved into warm water soaked into cotton balls.

Borax is like SN, but for insects. The shit works wonders lol. Do what you can for her but you can't babysit her 24/7. She's fortunate to have you guys helping her out. Especially that poor dog.

 

[Blue LIPS]

Borax is like SN, but for insects. The shit works wonders lol. Do what you can for her but you can't babysit her 24/7. She's fortunate to have you guys helping her out. Especially that poor dog.

Lol true, but for humans? Or actual insects as well? And I know, for now we are living with her, just moved back from a HELL HOLE of a town. But it stresses me out a lot basically being a caretaker when sometimes I have no energy to even do it for myself. So that's why I want her to at least try to create habits of cleaning. It ain't workin lol :P

 

[Tabbyql]

I have been in the same position wiv my dad, even the memory and dog part. I spent years cleaning his filth covered house and walking his dog. The things i had to pick up were vomit enducing. I exhusted my self mentally just trying to be there whenever he clicked his fingers. Even having to get the rspca involved to get him to look after his dog better. You are doing everything you can for her and her dog. There are people who can help, thankfully in the end social workers sent carers round daily and he got a dog walker from a local charity. Make sure you look after yourself too, and don't be afraid to get some advice from professional. :)

 

[Blue LIPS]

I have been in the same position wiv my dad, even the memory and dog part. I spent years cleaning his filth covered house and walking his dog. The things i had to pick up were vomit enducing. I exhusted my self mentally just trying to be there whenever he clicked his fingers. Even having to get the rspca involved to get him to look after his dog better. You are doing everything you can for her and her dog. There are people who can help, thankfully in the end social workers sent carers round daily and he got a dog walker from a local charity. Make sure you look after yourself too, and don't be afraid to get some advice from professional. :)

Thank you :) and that's good you were there for him, honestly I'm used to picking up the pieces killing myself mentally in general. Yeah we've talked about pretty much getting some opinions from them, but she's still "sane" ... allegedly lol she'll probably murder us feeling like "it's some trap" or "they'll kill me in there... but could you take my dog for a walk??" Literally she is what you described of your father.

 

[Tabbyql]

Thank you :) and that's good you were there for him, honestly I'm used to picking up the pieces killing myself mentally in general. Yeah we've talked about pretty much getting some opinions from them, but she's still "sane" ... allegedly lol she'll probably murder us feeling like "it's some trap" or "they'll kill me in there... but could you take my dog for a walk??" Literally she is what you described of your father.

If you want to talk don't hesitate to dm me, I'm not very good at talking/saying right thing , but I've bin told I'm a great listener. So vent if u need to and I will answer as quick as I can.